It’s Christmas today, Potato Nation. If you’re somehow unfamiliar with the day, think of it as the Fedor Emelianenko of holidays, only slightly less grim. Today we indulge in crass materialism while calling it ‘holiday spirit,’ and then we drink spiked egg nog and watch "Robocop" until we pass out on the couch. Your traditions may vary, but it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that today we stop mocking one another long enough to feel like family. Or at least, you know, we try to.
From all of us at the Potato to all of you, Merry freaking Christmas. May all your yuletide wishes come true, and may all your family squabbles be resolved without serious injury or police intervention.