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Michael Bisping to Stop Binge-Eating

The UFC has announced via a profile article on Michael Bisping that the former light-heavyweight TUF winner will officially make the wise drop down to middleweight. As the story goes:

The drop down has been a long time coming for the British striker. While other top light heavyweights walk around at over 230 pounds when not in training camp, Bisping, one month and many hearty meals removed from fighting at UFC 78 in New Jersey, weighs only 211 pounds…

Bisping said: “Dana thought it was a great idea, he said I’d be ‘a monster’ down at middleweight. In fact all sorts of people like Rampage (with whom Bisping is close) were telling me this was the best thing for my career. Really, I knew middleweight was the place to be. When I went to train with Rampage in America over the summer, when we’d go eat he’d have half a lettuce leaf; I’d have a pizza or a couple of foot-long Subways and a couple of sneaky cookies.

Not sure what “sneaky cookies” are, but if they’re anything like “ookie cookies,” then yes, Bisping should stop eating them. And by the way, Mike, it’s not cool to pig out in front of your bro when he’s trying to cut weight — though the “My Dinner With Rampage” scene I’m envisioning is so entertaining it should get its own Odd Couple-esque sitcom:

Rampage (to waitress): Lemme get, ah…I want that salad. Dressin’ on the side.

Bisping (to waitress): Roit, I’ll ‘ave two foot-long Subways, luv. Double-meat, double-Swiss. Yeah, safe.

Waitress: Subways?

Bisping: Roit, Subways. Subways. Subway fookin’ sandwiches.

Waitress: Sir, this is not a Subway. We don’t serve—

Bisping: Roit, look — two foot-long bread-loaves. Roast beef, turkey, ham. Lettuce, pickles, black olives. Spicy mustard, mayo. As much Swiss cheese as you ‘ave. Got all that? Brilliant, now do it twice, luv, and quickly. I ‘aven’t eaten in 45 minutes.

Waitress: I’ll see what I can do. [she leaves]

Bisping: Yeah, you see what you can do. Bloody coont.

Rampage: Maaaaaaan…two Subways? How you gonna do me like that?!?

[cue laugh track, cut to black]

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