(He’s the one in the creepy Jesus t-shirt. Photo courtesy of the UFC 96: Friday Night Preparties set on CombatLifestyle.com.)
SackMikeGoldberg is a new-ish blog by BloodyElbow writer Mike Fagan that specializes in dissing Goldie’s clumsy UFC commentary and the middle-school-caliber writing level of MMA bloggers. (Damn, bro — shoot fish in a barrel much?) Of particular interest is the site’s official drinking game, which does seem like it would get you fucked up in short order:
-Says, “It’s all over!”
-Warns, “Watch the upkick(s)!”
-Mentions Randy Couture or Chuck Liddell (disregard during a Liddell or Couture fight or if Couture is in the broadcast booth)
-Calls someone a “future UFC hall-of-famer”
-Asks “Can he finish?”
-Says, “Virtually identical.”
To prevent a bad hangover the next morning, we recommend drinking a glass of water every time Mike throws it to "the veteran voice of the Octagon, Bruce Buffer." Though you should definitely do a shot of bottom-shelf tequila every time Goldberg does something that makes his partner visibly uncomfortable.
Now who wants to make the Joe Rogan drinking game?
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Comments
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:37
People would be dead by the 3rd fight if they followed that !!!
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:46
Bare minimum, if you participate in that drinking game, you will come out the other end looking like one of the participants from Griffin/Bonnar I.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:46
Take a drink every time Joe Rogan gets excited to bring up the rubber guard in a fight.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:47
This game would only work if you were taking shots of Malibu...and even then you are risking serious alcohol poisoning that may lead to getting your stomach pumped and/or cardiac arrest.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:49
-references "changing levels" This HAS to be one - no question, a gross oversight.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:50
Drink every time Rogan excitedly yells out "omoplata!" Drink every time Rogan describes a fighter's jiu-jitsu as "top of the food chain"
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:53
Everyone loves shitting on Goldberg
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:56
drink every time Rogan says something vaguely homosexual.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:57
drink everytime joe rogan says phenominal
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:58
That kind of smile can only come from a veteran child molester. These faces are reserved for Mr Lionheart Blevins and the like. The unbelievably awkward Jesus shirt only serves as a frame to his cheesy face coupled with morbidly awkward statements.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:59
drink everytime jo rogan says, "walk us through the fight"
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:59
Holy crap! I made up my own drinking game during UFC96 and it was "Virtually Identical", except I added a bong hit for every one of Goldberg's visible hair plugs.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 01:59
thats a smile of a man who just farted and knows everyone is just about to figure it all out
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:02
drink everytime goldberg asks rogan if the fighter is in any danger
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:05
Games like this aren't played with shots you idiots, you use beer or mixed drinks and take a nice gulp every time one of those pops up. As for the Rogan drinking game, drink every time Rogan says "mission control!" or criticizes someone for doing rubber guard improperly.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:11
Drink every time Joe says "omoplata".
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:12
@ Richard Tucker Sorry, didn't ready your comment until after I left mine. Great minds think alike.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:22
It looks like Mike Goldberg is wondering if the cameraman has hit puberty or not and is holding a lolly pop behind his back just in case.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:22
How is this a drinking game? It sounds more to me like suicide.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:23
Or he does that horrible back to front sentence-mangle "Working the midsection now is BJ penn", "kicking the legs of Rampage is Forrest Griffin" ; "Looking for that big looping left is Chuck Lddell" ; "Covering up your ears at home listening to me are you"; "Fucking up this commentary am I", etc, etc
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:23
We've had a long-standing Joe Rogan drinking game with one rule: take a drink whenever Joe mentions leg kicks. Got pretty fucked up last Saturday night.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:25
Why is Harvey Firestein humping Mike Goldberg's arm?
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:26
why is that old guy gripping goldie like a pre-pubescent japanese schoolgirl?
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:36
Joe Rogan would need a weed smoking game rather than a drinking game.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:42
uh.. Joe Rogan drinking game.... Rubber guard, Eddie Bravo how he has trained with many of the fighters how "freakishly" strong they are... or his very common mentions of the word "WOOOWWW" how tight that submission is, how great Joe Stevenson's guillotine chokes are everytime he mentions Mark Dela Grotte's gym ("sit on a dong" like Josh Barnett infamously named it) Again the mention of the rubber guard to control the opponent.. mention of the killer instinct that many fighters posses Eddie Bravo i could go on and on...
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:49
You forgot when Goldberg says.... "COMING UP next.... (fill in any matchup here)
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:52
Who's the whore?
Tue, 03/10/09 - 02:57
Joe Rogan: -"Let's take a look at that again" -"He was baddly hurt with that last shot" -"The ref is gonna stop it if he doesn't start defending himself" -(Talking to the winner)"You had to be pleased with that performance" -Drink when he mentions"Working up at Big Bear at high altitude"
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:00
Why is Goldberg always EYE FUCKING whoever he is talking to in front of camera's? SICK CREEP!
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:11
drink a bottle of jack everytime u see a UFC event in which Joe Rogan wears a black, buttoned, long sleeved shirt that is one size too small. oh, and just drink half a bottle of jack if he wears the exact same shirt but in a different color.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:31
drink whenever rogan name-drops about "training with" and/or "rolling with" someone....... this will make karo's fights impossible to watch, even moreso, without dying by the second round. also include any time "pound for pound" is mentioned, and drink twice whenever fighters don't touch gloves... this just helps you get more drunker.....
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:32
Would everyone rather have Jim Brown back in the booth? Goldie rocks. It's obvious Rogan is the man but it wouldn't be the same without "Goldie".
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:38
Finish your glass if he says that somebody is probably the most feared striker in mma...doesn't say it every card but i think i have heard him say that about 5 or 6 different guys
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:44
We tried this already in my inner circle of friends. Every time Rogan said "Unbelievable" we took a drink. My friend ended up sleeping on the front lawn drunk and I had a 3 day hangover. Don't do it, my friends...........Don't do it
Tue, 03/10/09 - 03:53
add "He is rocked!" to the Rogan game.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 04:13
HAHA.. thats my old coach Mike "The Joker" Guymon ...
Tue, 03/10/09 - 04:24
How about every time Rogan refers to a fighter's facial laceration as a 'goat vagina' you must consume one ounce of 151 while e-mailing Zuffa and demanding his resignation.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 04:54
also drink any time rogan makes comments about a "rape-choke", as well as any form/etc of "black guy, white trunks, and white, guy black trunks"...
Tue, 03/10/09 - 04:57
Only 2 rules to the Joe Rogan game. Drink when he says "for sure". Drink when he says "badly".
Tue, 03/10/09 - 05:27
He doesn't say for sure so much anymore. Pretty much drink whenever Rogan says: "He's trying for a ..."
Tue, 03/10/09 - 05:33
Every time Rogan says "vicious ground and pound", "lethal elbows", or "(anyone with a single submission victory) has a very dangerous guard"
Tue, 03/10/09 - 06:04
I will so do this once before I go to out! LOL
Tue, 03/10/09 - 07:21
Anytime Joe Rogan says a fighter is working for a (insert submission) and the other fighter immediately gets out of it, smoke out of a vaporizer and discuss space and time.
Tue, 03/10/09 - 10:09
Finish your beer is Joe Rogan says "Rape Choke" again
Tue, 03/10/09 - 10:11
Everytime Joe says " alright i'm here with a very happy(name)"
Tue, 03/10/09 - 11:04
Is that that ugly filipino chick again? lala or something?
Tue, 03/10/09 - 11:48
everytime they say that man is my hero
Tue, 03/10/09 - 11:53
My friends and I always get a kick at beginning of broadcasts Goldy says.. "With me as always... my partner...JOE ROGAN" Then we LAUGH as GOldy is in Joe's face standing above him Nodding at what joes says. Don't know if he does this so the camera can zoom in tight on them but it's funny. This last one he was doing it later in the show wrap up and let out a totally inappropriate laugh when joe referrenced whoever getting the shit kicked out of him had to rewind it, it was almost as if someone told him a joke in his earpiece if he wears one...
Wed, 03/11/09 - 12:00
Add to Rogan's game "He's a bad dude!" "Or he's the real deal" Is Goldy from Minnesota? His accent seems to be getting thicker..
Wed, 03/11/09 - 02:28
Drink everytime Joe Rogan says "That dude is for real!"
Wed, 03/11/09 - 05:21
add to goldy game: "Oh! Superman punch!"
Wed, 03/11/09 - 05:53
Take a drink everytime Joe Rogan says "And this early in the fight fighters are still dry.." Take a drink every time Joe Rogan says "And this late in the fight fighters are slippery.."
Wed, 03/11/09 - 07:07
He's using the TEEP KICK! Someone must have just told Goldie what that was cuz he won't STFU about it now.
Wed, 03/11/09 - 07:59
THAT WAS GREAT!! you hit all the sayings right on the head. Very good call. Well done.
Wed, 03/11/09 - 12:44
I love that site. I swear if I have to hear Goldberg talk about the technique of holding your hand over an opponents mouth again... "You see what he's doing there... disrupting the breathing?"
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