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Mike Massenzio to Receive Involuntary Knee Surgery Compliments of Dr. Paul Harris at UFC 142


(In a moment, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure.

A lot of fight booking news today, Potato Nation.

With a featherweight title fight between Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes, the UFC debut of Siyar Bahadurzada, and some guaranteed fireworks in the Belfort/Johnson and Etim/Barboza scraps, UFC 142 is shaping up to be one hell of a card. But if, like me, you don’t get excited for a fight that lacks an outside possibility of descending into utter chaos, involving limb loss, premature celebration, and a lack of respect for the referee bordering on Earl Hebner levels of insanity, then boy are you in for a treat.

News broke earlier today that our favorite little appendage manipulator, Rousimar Palhares, has agreed to face New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio at UFC 142 in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. And although allowing Palhares to compete in his home country nearly cost him a victory over Dan Miller (who is also a Jersey native, ironically) in his last bout, “Toquinho” will no doubt be looking to impress against Massenzio, who may be fighting for his UFC career come January 14th. Just 1-3 in his last 4 UFC bouts (2-4 overall), Massenzio most recently scored a unanimous decision victory over the similarly struggling Steve Cantwell at UFC 136, making it Cantwell’s fourth straight decision loss in as many contests.

Elsewhere in the MMA world, an interesting featherweight contest between Nam Phan and Jim Hettes has been added to UFC 141, which goes down at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on December 30th. Phan is coming off a wild decision victory over Leonard Garcia, also at UFC 136, that saw the TUF 12 contestant erase the controversial decision he dropped to Garcia back at the TUF 12 Finale nearly a year ago.

Hettes, a submission fighter out of Pennsylvania, made his octagon debut as a last minute replacement for Leonard Garcia, coincidentally, and snagged a quick submission victory over Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres at UFC Live: Lytle vs. Hardy back in August. Aquiring all of his 9 victories by submission, it will be intriguing to see if “The Kid” is able to overcome Phan’s precise striking attack.

Now here’s a picture of Steve Martin ironing a kitten.

-Danga 

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XENOPHON- November 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phencyclidine#Recreational_use
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You know what they say: go big, or go home.
XENOPHON- November 17, 2011 at 12:16 pm
@KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike
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Are you sure, it's laced with Angel Dust.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- November 17, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Xeno

Could I have some of that chronic you're smokin?
XENOPHON- November 17, 2011 at 11:32 am
@RwilsonR
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I just left the Red Rock Casino a few days ago - looking into your very same concerns. It as there that I received the Zuffa sponsored colonoscopy...
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Cecil Peoples performed the procedure personally, looking for cameras and recording devices. When he was done, he said I scored a perfect 10 - I hope that suffices as I am still using the Kotex to stop the spotting.
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I saw your named etched in wall, much like the Shawshank Redemption - It was next to "Red's".

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...And as you said, Rebney was there along with the Fox, Viacom, and Zuffa. So was the Hotel Workers Union President. I am telling you the fix is in with the MMA Bildebergers - bro.
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Promise - if Ben will accept my Eskimo Kiss, this will be the first article I publish.
XENOPHON- November 17, 2011 at 11:23 am
@Danga
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Thanks. I just moved from near the coast-city a small ranchero for the winter and will have spare time moving forward. No more extended traveling for about a year and a half.
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As for Dana, that's a bit of a problem...I'm already a minion of Zuffa, and like LOKI, am a hired gun to cause problems for all who think they are some god.
flyingogoplata- November 17, 2011 at 6:46 am
Danga - I can't open the picture of Steve Martin ironing the kitten and the disappointment has now ruined my day. I refuse to believe that this has anything to do with my computer. I blame you. Sending me some free shit may make me feel better...just sayin'
Me likey- November 17, 2011 at 4:44 am
Palhares, the lenny of mma, or simple jack for those of you who don't know steinbeck. the guy is seriously handicapped. if you wonder why he has retard strength it is because he is retarded.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- November 17, 2011 at 4:29 am
As far as the kick to the grill to avoid your leg being annihilated....usually you don't want to extend your leg deeper into any leg/heel submissions, unless you kick quickly and yank it out on the recoil, but seeing Paul Harris, I'm pretty sure that brazilian mongoloid has the grip of a fucking vice so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't do much but wiggle your leg deeper and ending your career a little quicker....personally, I would never sign on to fight this fuck
RSparrow- November 17, 2011 at 12:22 am
Xeno, you think UFC is fixed along with all these other god damn conspiracy theories... (Let's not forget your entire UFC A and B league nonsense) I would rather have Gary the Retard from the Stern show as a guest contributor.
RwilsonR- November 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm
^ ^ Also, I think Rex had to take a step back because he failed his last "turn your head and cough" portion of the exam. Or because Dana felt he was promoting Bjorn Rebney on this site too much. One of the two, but you'll have to join their MMA Bilderbergers club to find out.
RwilsonR- November 16, 2011 at 6:17 pm
@ XENO - I believe all writers for CP need to have a mandatory physical conducted by Lorenzo Fertitta in showers of the locker room in the hidden bunker that is Zuffa headquarters located under approximately 150 feet of concrete and steel below Red Rock Casino. Don't think it was an accident that Red Rock construction began just as the UFC was taking off, or that Lorenzo Fertitta so heavily invested in a sport where two sweaty grown men roll around on the ground together. Think about it, and connect the dots.
DangadaDang- November 16, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Also Xeno, all article ideas have to be cleared by our site's overseer, Dana White. But you already knew that.
BTTbear- November 16, 2011 at 5:21 pm
better be the super well placed kick because those leg locks ruin careers quick.. good luck with that.

on another note, you know how crocop goes, hospital and cemetary w his kicks?

Palhares: right knee hospital left knee rehab...
danomite- November 16, 2011 at 4:48 pm
also, anybody else notice how Xenophon is always trying to get people's addresses? hmmmmm.....i wonder what he's plotting...i mean planning to do with those
DangadaDang- November 16, 2011 at 4:47 pm
@Xeno
If you are serious about writing some pieces, let me know. And we don't do any ghost writing here; you have to be willing to take as much shit for your work as the rest of us.
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As far as how I got started, I am fresh out of college and was looking for a writing gig in a field that interested me. Being a loyal CP army member since its birth, I wrote an email to BG asking if he knew anyone that was looking for writers. He didn't, but being the gentleman he is, said I could send him some articles that he would have a look at. He liked them, or at least told me he did, and when Rex needed to take a step back I was offered a position to fill in for him, and its been awesome ever since. So if you really would like to write the occasional article, just send us an email. You can find any information you need under the "Contact" tab at the bottom of the page.
danomite- November 16, 2011 at 4:46 pm
doesn't massenzio already have knee problems? maybe it'll make him invulnerable to leg locks the way it did for Dan Henderson when he fought Palhares.
Sloppyspray- November 16, 2011 at 4:27 pm
He's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And he's leg locking like he's never leg locked before.
Sloppyspray- November 16, 2011 at 4:24 pm
@Everybody - To clarify my question/comment, I meant it more of in regards to it being possible with respect to positioning. I assumed it would be illegal (a la Silva v. Okami), but had the "fuck it, if Paul gets this hold on my he's just going to fucking destroy my knee and career, mind as well cheat and get DQ'd maybe knock the bitch out while I'm at it" mentality. Then jump up and down celebrating my knock out victory.
MediumRare- November 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm
No you can't kick a dude's grill while he's on the ground - even if you yourself are on the ground. Unless you're Palhares - in which case it's fine if you immediately celebrate a victory and then look really confused.
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Actually, now that I think about it, Palhares might be onto something. Tomorrow when I'm on the bus, I'm gonna rub my dick against some pretty girl's leg, celebrate and then look really confused when she calls the police. Should go well.
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I'm gonna go practice my Down's Syndrome look in the mirror.
XENOPHON- November 16, 2011 at 3:25 pm
@Danga
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No love for the daDang....even Sheena says "sheesh."
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Danga how does one get to write an occasional piece for CP? How did you get started writing.
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I have some ideas for articles, and would be willing to "ghost write" a few pieces.
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I am sure people here would love to read anything that I write...or can troll about. GRIN
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Hell, pass on to New York Ben and Canadian Mike (plus Seth) that if they let me write some articles - I will promise send them a free Cage Potato shirt....that actually arrives to its addressee.
skeletor- November 16, 2011 at 2:21 pm
@Aloppyspray - I think it's possible but illegal since he is a "downed opponent". But if you are inferring that it's ok to cheat since he's going to eventually in the fight then I think it's ok. I believe there should be exceptions to every rule.
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You should be able to kick a downed opponent if you yourself is downed. Like in Silva v Okami 1, or in the case of heel hooks. Everyone should be able to cheat at least once a fight against Paul Harris, and everyone should be able to kick Kongo in the balls at least once per fight.
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Also fuck you Danga
El Guapo- November 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm
That's a damn good question, Sloppy, to which I don't have the slightest clue regarding a correct answer. You can't kick a downed opponent to the grill, but if you're both on the ground that may not apply. Somebody? Anybody?
Sloppyspray- November 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Does anyone (who has a greater knowledge of leg locks and positioning) know if it is possible to kick Paul Harris in the face when he gets you in one of his various leg lock holds? Ya know, a nice vicious heel to his chin. I mean if he's going to cheat (which is inevitable) then why not preemptively strike? beats the hell out of knee surgery.
arthurFonzerelli- November 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm
DANGA, excuse my french, but you can suck my big fat hairy balls
Viva Hate- November 16, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Danga, you suck! Man, that really does make the day better.
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