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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Mirror, Mirror: UFC Fighters and Their Sports Star Counterparts

Junior Dos Santos and Pavel Datsyuk

To those that are unfamiliar with the NHL, it is a professional league where they play a game called ice hockey (*wink-wink*). Pavel Datsyuk is one of the best two-way forwards in the league and has won the Selke Trophy multiple times. He has great hands and his skating ability is fluid and pure. JDS also has tremendous footwork and his boxing pedigree is second to none within the heavyweight division. In essence, Dos Santos is also a defensive forward because he can set up a lightning strike with his superior skill set. When you factor into the equation that the Brazilian and Russian came from meager beginnings and are widely considered true gentlemen in and out of their sport, the parallels are apparent. Basically, if the UFC had the equivalent of the Lady Byng, JDS would win it four years in a row, just like Datsyuk.

Chael Sonnen and A.J. Pierzynski

To say that Chael Sonnen has the gift of gab would be like saying Junie Browning is moody. Both are complete understatements. With Sonnen’s wit and emotion, he is able to sell a fight like no other and the fact that he was able to make an entire country hate him is evidence to that. A.J Pierzynski has long been heralded as a monumental big mouth behind the plate that has a very colorful personality in front of the cameras. Both Sonnen and Pierzynski have had long careers that have seen a great deal of success but the White Sox catcher actually won a championship in 2005 – something that The American Gangster will probably never harvest no matter what weight class he moves to. Regardless, both men are better on the microphone than they are between the lines and that is no small feat. Their opponents would rather face them during competition because a war of words with either Sonnen or Pierzynski is not as fun as a drug-induced rollercoaster ride.

Randy Couture and Howie Long

This is a no brainer. Both men have won world championships and are members of their sport’s Hall of Fame. Both men have had supporting roles in big budget films (Couture: “The Expendables” and the sequel – Long: “Broken Arrow” and “3000 Miles to Graceland”). Both have also starred in straight-to-DVD releases; Long’s “Firestorm” was a cinematic train wreck and Couture’s “Hijacked” was the conductor. Both men have successfully transitioned into broadcasting and the two have a son that is trying to follow in his father’s footsteps. The only thing they don’t have in common is grotesque cauliflower ears.

Chris Leben and Bill Romanowski

The MMA universe was first introduced to Chris Leben and his antics during the inaugural season of The Ultimate Fighter. He was the loose cannon and to say that he wore his heart on his sleeve would be cheating Leben’s emotions. Bill Romanowski was a controvertial linebacker during his lengthy career in the NFL where only Mike Singletary rivaled Bill’s crazy eyes. Both the Crippler and Romo-Cop are as intense as they come and the two have also been reprimanded by their governing brass for several unsavory actions. After Leben’s latest suspension, it is clear that both men enjoy the occasional supplement and both are probably on the cusp of a Section 8.

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linzhanfd- August 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm
http://brk.to/luckygrip
McLuvin- August 16, 2012 at 9:44 am
Good article
Few issues.
Pension and penchant are not interchangeable.
Controvertial?
I'm also pretty sure that firestorm had a theatrical run.
The12ozCurls- August 16, 2012 at 9:51 am
Ya - Firestorm was released on Friday and you could rent it at Blockbuster by Monday.
Cornerman- August 16, 2012 at 7:17 am
Anderson Silva got passed over at the Olympic closing ceremony for a wretched old Pele, what a disgrace when they said Pele is the most iconic sports figure in Brazil. "FVKC you guys Anderson and Junior!!!!" the IOC whispered under it's out dated breathe.
RSparrow- August 16, 2012 at 6:44 am
Chael = Pete Rose. Reem = Bonds. Bones = Dhalsum. Cody McKenzie = Terrible. Brian stann = The National Anthem
HaterSlayer- August 16, 2012 at 4:25 am
I think Chad Johnson = Chael Sonnen would have fit better
Mr_Misanthropy- August 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Alistair Overeem = Barry Bonds
Mr_Misanthropy- August 15, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Roy Nelson = William "Refrigerator" Perry
RwilsonR- August 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Demetrius Johnson = Gabby Douglas
bitteralex- August 15, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I would say Fedor and Gretzky... both were the G.O.A.T. in their respective sports but both competed in more obscurity compared to their colleagues... only educated fans know how amazingly they truly were
Capital- August 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Ps, just like Baseball...who the fuck plays, or like that crappysport outside the states?
Thats right, no one, guess wy?
Se belove!
Capital- August 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Theres a reason wy NFL is so big in USA(and only there), its becouse its sucha stupid, boring game that it fits the average, retarded american perfect!
Its the game for slowminded hicks!
KrmtDfrog- August 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
The difference between aj pzfladklnjkgklski and sonnen is that sonnen is generally well respected behind the scenes by many of the other fighters. "If you play against him, you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him a little less." - his own manager.
Dog Dicks Magoo- August 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I love you CP but these articles are fucking stupid.
El Guapo- August 15, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Hahhhh-kee. HA!-kee. Hockey. I do believe I may have possibly heard of this hockey you speak of...
Also, congrats to Pen Fifteen for his soon-to-be comment of the week victory.
mynameisalsoben- August 15, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Anderson Silva = Usain Bolt
SethF- August 15, 2012 at 1:41 pm
@Goog

*begin jerkoff hand gesture* You make an excellent point about how we should be putting asterisks next to Jon Jones, Lawrence Taylor and every other phenomenal athlete who wasn't an angel outside of the sport, because clearly that means their accomplishments in the sport mean less somehow. Also let's put an asterisk next to Anderson Silva's undefeated UFC record saying that he lost outside of the UFC, in case literally anyone on the planet cares. *makes explosion hand gesture, thus ending the hypothetical jerkoff*
The12ozCurls- August 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm
With your *jerkoff hand gesture* - by any chance was it done like the "Slow Jerk?" Because if it was, I am telling the boss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UJ9Ggs3Dkk
J.Jones- August 15, 2012 at 2:15 pm
*checks Goog's pulse*

*stands up and faces horrified audience*

..."He's dead."
Fletch the V Stretch- August 15, 2012 at 1:27 pm
12 oz - Great article. Comparing JDS to Pavel (who in my opinion is the best player in the NHL and never gets talked about) absolutely made my day. Great write up. Wish you would've chose someone else besides Jeter for GSP though.
The12ozCurls- August 15, 2012 at 1:30 pm
GSP & Jeter are 2 similar to ignore. And I agree with Datsyuk even though I am a homer and fairly partial to Corey Perry. How do you think Mike Trout made the list? LOL.
Fletch the V Stretch- August 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm
While I do see the similarities, I just am not a huge Jeter fan and I am a GSP fan. So, naturally I wanted someone different but you are correct. Don't mention it bro, keep it up. You can always count on me to comment and input my opinion.
The12ozCurls- August 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm
BTW, Thanks for the love.
Between writing it, doing all the pictures, and adding all the hyper-links - I lost track on the amount of hours it took.
Fletch the V Stretch- August 15, 2012 at 2:07 pm
It was a great read. Great idea for an article for sure. Fedor Emilianko = Babe Ruth. HAHA
Pen Fifteen- August 15, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Mike Goldberg=Marv Albert. One bites ass, the other sucks ass.
jasonmoles- August 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Nice work, but I'm not sold on Chael's counterpart.
The12ozCurls- August 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmJT1hTjE_Y&feature=related
The_Dead_Cow- August 15, 2012 at 11:57 am
Royce Gracie & Wayne Gretzky? This may be an over statement considering Gretzky dominated his sport in a way on one else has.
The_Dead_Cow- August 15, 2012 at 11:59 am
*no*
Goog- August 15, 2012 at 11:57 am
Anderson Silva has four losses. But as we've seen from every nuthugging website... if it didn't happen in the UFC, it didn't happen.

Interesting that the opposite is true for the criminal element amongst fighters - you can get DUI's, go on destructive monster truck runs through a neighborhood, you name it. As long as you're under the UFC banner and can sell PPV's... those didn't happen, either.
Onan- August 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Yes he has four losses; the last of which was over six years ago. What's your point? Since entering the MMA equivalent of the NFL or NBA (the major leagues) he hasn't lost. I noticed that among your list of ignored criminal acts, money laundering in connection with mortgage fraud was conspicuously absent. I'm sure it was just an oversight on your part.
Maine Blazer- August 15, 2012 at 11:56 am
Bob Sapp and Jose Canseco... both started their careers as respected athletes (that felt weird to type), but have since, well, 'fallen off'
Fletch the V Stretch- August 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Great addition - comment of the week
paperplane- August 15, 2012 at 11:53 am
Sidney Crosby is from nova scotia. He played junior hockey in Quebec.
Whitemare- August 15, 2012 at 11:39 am
I would Compare GSP with Sidney Crosby and not just because they are both from Quebec
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