(Step 1: Lock in armbar. Step 2: Give camera sultry look. Step 3: Call parents and tell them community college classes are going really well.)
Further solidifying the already close bonds between professional MMA fighters and adult film actresses, the organizers behind the Exxxotica Miami Beach “Adult Consumer Show” have decided to go the extra mile. This year they’ll be hosting a no-gi submission grappling tournament to supplement the adult-themed entertainment already on display. To let you know exactly what the thought process was behind this move, just read this statement from the Exxxotica director – clearly a man who knows his target audience:
”Exxxotica now has everything a guy could ask for — the biggest adult stars, lots of sexy action, and one of the most popular sports in the world today, Mixed Martial Arts,” said J. Handy, Director of Victory Tradeshow Management, producers of Exxxotica. ”In the past we’ve had professional pillow fighters, pro wrestling exhibitions, but nothing touches the ever-growing popularity of Mixed Martial Arts in the United States, and hosting this tournament during Exxxotica Miami Beach is just another way for us to give our attendees anything and everything to entertain them when they come to our show.”
Oh, J. Handy. You had me at professional pillow fighters. Although maybe you shouldn’t continue to refer to a no-gi grappling tournament as mixed martial arts. Strictly speaking, the action in grappling tournaments isn’t MMA any more than the action in porn movies is an expression of love. But whatever. The winner of the absolute division of this tournament gets $3,000 and the adoration of every wide-eyed starlet in attendance, which means this might be the best chance yet for Tamdan McCrory to finally get laid. Go get ‘em, Barn Cat.
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Comments
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:19
nawww thats cute.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:19
This will likely be aired on ESPN 8: The Ocho.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:39
I love dreaming of having sex with hot sluts, and I love grappling. But they are at opposite ends of the spectrum and should not be fused together. Do any of you want to accidentally think about a sex position while you're rolling with another guy and make you question your sexuality for a second? Think about that.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:40
WOW !!!! Nice pic....I would "Tap" them both.... Pun intended.....
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:44
Just wanna say, wtf, F*ck all these so-called Hollywood Super Stars!! True beauties are actually among ourselves, check this out ___Tallmingle.com___ hot and sincere tall girlrs, young girls and handsome men there are much more attractive and charming!!!! search and find our own beauties today!!! lol
Mon, 04/13/09 - 09:45
It will be just like a normal grappling tournament, just with odd "Tap Out due to other guy sporting a hard on/awkwardness"
Mon, 04/13/09 - 10:24
It's sad. Don't let anyone take our sport, and morph it with this vaccuous pit of nothingness. MMA is a vestige of honor... disapline, hard work, hours and hours of sweat time and intense brutal training so that we can compete at out highest level. This is what you want kids to associate us with? We are better than that. WAY better. Pride, honor, no short-cuts... Don't let anyone, or any group, associate us with the lowly and bebased.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 10:34
Seriously...Who gives a fuck, who gives a shit. Hey CP why don't you report on MMA news jerk off
Mon, 04/13/09 - 10:36
queer
Mon, 04/13/09 - 10:37
Cage Potato's credibility has of late, 0.0!!
Mon, 04/13/09 - 10:37
MMA and porn does not go together. Look at the combination of Tito and Jenna hath wrought. This show is exactly the kind of thing that would happen after a 50 person MMA-porn gangbang--leaking silicone and and an unholy mix of Tito, Chuck, and Tim Sylvia spunk. And we'll have to clean it up. Gah.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 11:07
Wait, the girls aren't the ones grappling?
Mon, 04/13/09 - 11:15
If you want to see fighting and porn together, go to www.ultimatesurrender.com.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 12:44
I will be attending this tournament as a resident of South Florida. Also, if you faggots don't like stories about chicks and MMA then take your motherfucking faggot asses over to Shitdog or pussy-ass Fightlinker or even better yet, make your own MMA blog since you tools seem to be the motherfucking authority about what's news here. Then when you have your own site some other faggots can rip on the story that you wrote about how much you love licking Chuck Liddell's asshole. Get a fucking life and get off the site if you don't like it. Unconstructive criticizing assholes. Sorry for channeling my inner DW.
Mon, 04/13/09 - 01:43
Also, if you faggots don't like stories about chicks and MMA then take your motherfucking faggot asses over to Shitdog or pussy-ass Fightlinker or even better yet, make your own MMA blog since you tools seem to be the motherfucking authority about what's news here. Then when you have your own site some other faggots can rip on the story that you wrote about how much you love licking Chuck Liddell's asshole. Get a fucking life and get off the site if you don't like it. Unconstructive criticizing assholes. Sorry for channeling my inner DW. ___________________________________________ Agreed.....
Mon, 04/13/09 - 02:32
That girl on top looks so damn cute
Mon, 04/13/09 - 02:47
She's doing it all wrong, her left leg should be around the other side of her opponents neck, thus constricting blood flow to the head and ensuring a quick tap. No wonder no one takes women's MMA seriously,
Mon, 04/13/09 - 03:27
the winner of the tourney gets $3000 but as a consolation prize the runner up gets the money shot
Mon, 04/13/09 - 04:40
Rachelle Leah should start doing porn. Dana White would probably want a percentage of the profits first though.
Tue, 04/14/09 - 06:43
Its not a triangle. It's an armbar idiot.
Wed, 04/29/09 - 07:10
I am a MMA fighter and I am attending and competiting at the event. All my hours of hard work will allow me to compete and possibly win the $$$$. You more than likely don't even train or even fight. From what I saw there will be ADCC World Champions, World Champions, Pan Am Champions, Pro MMA Fighters, and BJJ Black Belts competiting. So I assume you will be there to tell all them that they are way better and that they shouldn't be there???? Actually Jeff Monson will be there I am sure he would love to hear what you have to say....
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