Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

MMA Drug-Roundup: Drysdale Goes Unpunished, Belfort Goes on the Defensive, Browne Undergoes WADA

(Pictured: Robert Drysdale’s father, left, and Robert Drysdale’s great grandfather, right.) 

Testosterone and MMA go hand-in-hand like whiskey and breakfast (except they don’t hold hands, of course, because that’s what queers do). Unfortunately for many of today’s aging MMA stars, naturally produced testosterone dries up faster than a crick in a west Texas drought once they turn 30, forcing many of these dinosaurs to resort to the synthetic stuff in order to compete with the whipper-snappers who are trying to shamelessly take their jobs. And so, the TRT TUE was born.

While fighters like Vitor Belfort have utilized TRT to (literally) inject new life into their MMA careers, fighters like Robert Drysdale have damn near killed theirs before they even got started by abusing the stuff to a comical degree. Fortunately for Drysdale, it looks like the UFC will be letting him off easy for essentially pissing pure HGH last week and being subsequently pulled from UFC 167. A UFC rep recently spoke with MMAJunkie about Drysdale’s future in the organization following his botched drug test. In short, it’s still a go!

Obviously, Robert needs to establish that he is medically fit to participate and apply for the appropriate licensure,” the rep wrote in a prepared statement. “Assuming he is able to do this, he will fight for the organization at some point in the future.”

NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer said commissioners for the regulatory body will decide whether to place Drysdale on a future agenda to address the failed test. As of today, the commission also hasn’t levied any disciplinary action.

While we can’t imagine that this is the first impression the BJJ legend was hoping to make with the UFC, at least we will be able to see whether or not he was worth all the trouble he has given them so far. Hooray?

Speaking of TRT, Belfort recently attempted to clarify his previous statements that he would “stop doing TRT” if a title shot was on the line with FOX Sports:

I was just trying to say how committed I am to achieving something. Why would I want to do something that’s going to hurt me? Just to make people feel good? Haters are always going to be there. People are always going to talk about you because you are somebody. Like I’ve said, this [TRT] can’t teach people to knock people out with kicks and perform.

 I was just kind of showing how motivated I am. Of course, they won’t allow that to happen. It’s unhealthy for me. It would be unfair. If you’re doing something right, everything goes good.

At this point, I can’t even muster the energy to comment on Belfort’s continuous flip-flopping. He is to TRT what Oprah is to dieting, and being that anyone who questions a former steroid user’s insistence or need to be on TRT is immediately dubbed a “hater” by fighters and fans alike, I’ll just leave this most recent blurb up to you Taters for analysis.

But amidst all the chicanery regarding TRT in MMA, it’s good to know that there are still guys like Travis Browne, who recently agreed to join UFC 168 opponent Josh Barnett (we know, we know) in UFC-sponsored, WADA-certified drug testing ahead of the December 28th event. Said “Hapa”:

I think it’s a great idea, and I’m a big supporter of it. I think our sport and the commission taking actions like this is putting us ahead of the game compared to other sports. We’re not putting out a fire. We’re attacking the problem before it becomes an epidemic.

Oh, Travis, you beautiful, ignorant slut. Haven’t you heard? It already *is* an epidemic.

-J. Jones

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