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MMA Fail of the Year Candidate: “Ultimate Armbar Defense” Instructor Chokes Himself Out

Damn it, Jon. Thumb UP! Props: The Phantom Knee

We’re not even one week into 2013, yet we already have a strong candidate for’s coveted MMA Fail of the Year at the year-ending Potato Awards. And yes, “coveted” is the right word here – with all of the ugly tattoosterrible t-shirts, goofy haircuts and general jackassery in this great sport, it’s a legitimate honor to be recognized for failing harder than everyone else around you. Last year, the award went to a guy who dared his opponent to knock him out seconds before getting knocked out. Following in his footsteps, this instructor is so confident that he has discovered the “ultimate” way to defend against an armbar that you should really be expecting his demise well before it plays out.

This guy’s ”Ultimate Armbar Defense” isn’t exactly scientific; it involves grabbing your own gi collar and holding on for dear life. Don’t ask me how a jiu-jitsu purple belt didn’t realize that he was setting himself up for a textbook gi choke, but he didn’t, and the inevitable happens by the end of the video. My favorite part of the video is the very end, when he wakes up, remembers where he is, puffs his chest out and looks into the camera with manly, Ronda Rousey-esque confidence.

Props: MiddleEasy

It’s sort-of brilliant - your opponent can’t kick your ass if you kick your own ass first, and even though you’d lose a grappling match if you choked yourself out to defend against an armbar, at least your opponent didn’t technically beat you. As long as you didn’t have an incompetent referee, you’d lose well before your opponent realizes you’re asleep and armbars you out of principle.

The bar has been set high in 2013, Taters. I don’t recommend trying to defeat this guy at his own game, but for those about to fail, I salute you.


Cagepotato Comments

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Ruke Doufus- January 9, 2013 at 7:45 am
Dip... that's Lion-O from the the Thundercats!
intercept440- January 7, 2013 at 2:27 pm
uhm dipset...thats not he-man....just saying....funny pic though
Fried Taco- January 7, 2013 at 9:53 am
Did you see his RNC defense video where he ends up breaking his arm? Such a doofus!
Mr_Misanthropy- January 7, 2013 at 3:43 am
Who are these people?
Mike_Goldberg- January 7, 2013 at 1:08 am
Annnndddd iiiittsss aaallll oooovvveeerrr
jonjonesbentley- January 5, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Don't troll a troller CP, nice try.
elburrogrande- January 5, 2013 at 2:52 pm
hahahhaaha cagepotato got trolled bad thinking this is real or they are trolling us into thinking they thought it was real so that we would make fun of them in the comments section
fightfan- January 5, 2013 at 2:05 pm
There is a "Fail of the Year" candidate here alright. Its CagePotato for getting trolled & posting(I mean reposting) this video without realizing it is a joke
MorningwoodII- January 5, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Anyone ever taken Kojukenbo classes? My son wants to take it but I've heard it's more for flash then actual self defense.
dipsetkilla316- January 5, 2013 at 11:54 am
Heman getting armbared lol
Pen Fifteen- January 5, 2013 at 11:51 am
Seriously, this is what you guys get for "borrowing" content from other sites.
Deadpanda- January 5, 2013 at 11:50 am
This is about as good as El Famous Burrito making us wait for him in the draft.
Pen Fifteen- January 5, 2013 at 11:49 am
Goddamn, for a website that prides itself on fluency in the grammar of pro-wrestling, it's amazing you didn't figure this one out. If you're still stumped, see the most recent comment on middleeasy: "WORK."

"Don’t ask me how a jiu-jitsu purple belt didn’t realize that he was setting himself up for a textbook gi choke..." You've got to be shitting me Falvo. Seriously, the fact that this guy has been known for posting comedy videos ( didn't tip you off?
1Jackal- January 5, 2013 at 11:49 am
It is a joke, just like this video he did on how to tie a belt. Dont get trolled potato heads
Clyde- January 6, 2013 at 9:49 am
I was hoping the belt tying would also result in choking himself out...
MorningwoodII- January 5, 2013 at 11:35 am
They call that move the "Houston Schaub."
Corrosionform- January 5, 2013 at 10:54 am
Why is he teaching people how to lose ?