(I have to admit, when Goldstein suggested we do black and white portraits wearing our UFC-watching outfits for our FightPicker column I was skeptical, but I think it works.)
The UFC returns to Montreal Saturday, and for the third time in as many years I’m at home, four hours away in Ontario watching the pay-per-view on TV. *sigh* Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Anyway, I’ll be live here Saturday night with up-to-the-minute updates and observations of the fights, while BG throws on his ascot and monocle and hits up his local sports bar, dry martini in hand, to wax poetic about the card and why Kimbo IS NOT the best fighter in MMA with the pro-TUF Affliction-wearing crowd.
With out further adieu, I give you the inaugural Ben vs. Mike (or the “new Ben” or “not Ben” or “inferior Ben,” or whatever pseudonym floats your boat) FightPicker Head-to-Head: UFC 113 Edition.
Machida vs. Rua @ UFC 113: Who will win?
BG: Machida. I still think he’s the better fighter overall, and he’s had a lot of time to correct the strategic mistakes he made in their first match.
MR: I’m going to go with Shogun on this one. I think he’s finally hitting his stride in the Octagon and he isn’t going to waste the opportunity of a UFC title shot twice. It seems like Machida is way too confident, bordering on cocky, which may be to his detriment if he takes Rua even an ounce too lightly.
Will Machida vs. Rua go to a decision?
BG: Yes. And it won’t be a controversial one this time.
MR: No. Off the record, I have a nagging suspicion it will end controversially, but this time it will either be by a cut or arguable referee stoppage.
Koscheck vs. Daley: Who will win?
BG: As long as Koscheck’s ego doesn’t force him into standing-and-banging, he’ll take this. I say Kos wrestles Daley to the ground and ends the fight there.
MR: I my better judgment tells me that Koscheck is going to take this, but if it ends in the first round I’m thinking Daley wins. I’m going to let technology decide this one. After one “Better not tell you now” and a “Reply hazy, try again” reply to my, “Does Daley smash the Fraggle?” query, my Magic 8 Ball® gives me a “It is decidedly so.” Since it predicted Couture over Sylvia and Serra over St-Pierre, I have to listen to it.
Will Koscheck vs. Daley end in a KO/TKO before round 3?
BG: Playing the odds, I’ll say no. Koscheck says he’ll be looking for the choke , and a late finish is always possible.
MR: Daley says he’s never been rocked in the cage or the street, so again, if it ends as a result of strikes, it will be at the hands of Daley. I’ll roll the dice on this one and say yes.
Sam Stout vs. Jeremy Stephens: Who will win?
BG: Stout by murder. Unless Stephens can put up more of a fight than Joe Lauzon did in January, he’s toast.
MR: I did an interview with TJ Grant a few weeks back for UFC.com and he said he thinks Stout takes some heavy shots in each fight on purpose to ensure he wins the “Fight of the Night” award, which incidentally, he has won four times to date. He has a chin of granite to match his “Hands of Stone” and every one of his UFC fights, except for his submission loss to KenFlo, has gone the distance. I’m picking Stout via decision and I’ll go out on a limb and say it will be FOTN.
Kimbo Slice vs. Matt Mitrione: Who will win?
BG: Mitrione. I’ve said it before — Meathead is the better brawler in this matchup. Even if Kimbo has picked up some new ground-game tricks at ATT, I doubt he’ll pull them out on Saturday.
MR: Training at ATT or not, I don’t see Kimbo subbing Mitrione. I also don’t see Meathead sticking his chin out for Slice to test. As much as these guys claim that they’re going to stand and bang, I think Kimbo’s gas tank and lack of takedown defense will lead to him losing by referee stoppage due to Mitrione ground-and-pound. I’m picking Meathead.
Patrick Côté vs. Alan Belcher: Who will win?
BG: I’m not picking the guy who’s coming back from 19 months of inactivity. Belcher has looked very sharp lately; this fight is his to win.
MR: Côté is another guy who never seems to get hurt when he is punched in the head. The last time I interviewed him he told me the same thing as Daley – that he has never been rocked in his life. He’s been working on his boxing with the Grant brothers in Montreal and they say that his hands have improved exponentially over the past few years. I can see him pulling off a highlight-reel knockout. I say Côté wins this.
Tom Lawlor vs. Joe Doerksen: Who will win?
BG: The Filthy Mauler, all day. A tougher question would be: Will Lawlor’s ring entrance feature Seth Petruzelli in a funny costume, a pro wrestling theme, or both?
MR: In spite of his lackluster showing the last time we saw him in the UFC, I think Doerksen’s experience and ground skills are going to be too much for Lawlor and I predict “El Dirte” is going to surprise “Filthy” with a quick sub or TKO. Doerksen by something grungy.
Marcus Davis vs. Jonathan Goulet: Who will win?
BG: Like Cote, Goulet also hasn’t competed since late 2008, when he was smashed by Mike Swick at "Fight for the Troops." This is just a rebound fight for Marcus Davis, and I expect him to win it.
MR: Goulet choked out an out of control, off the chain pit bull. Can Davis say he’s done anything that crazy besides wearing a skirt? Goulet by TKO.
TJ Grant vs. Johny Hendricks: Who will win?
BG: I like both of them, but Hendricks is undefeated, improving rapidly, and has been just a little more impressive in the Octagon. Hendricks it is.
MR: I’m inclined to pick Hendricks because he has yet to taste defeat and he has impressed me in his first two UFC fights, but Grant is one of those guys who quietly finds a way to win, regardless of the odds against him. I’m picking the dark horse on this one. Grant by TKO.
Tim Hague vs. Joey Beltran: Who will win?
BG: The Mexecutioner has momentum after his thrashing of Rolles Gracie. I’ll pick him via superior nickname, over Tim "Horton’s" Hague.
MR: I’m picking Beltran as well. I just think Hague is too slow to beat Joey to the punch; no pun intended.
Yoshiyuki Yoshida vs. Mike Guymon: Who will win?
BG: My heart says Guymon. My head says "Who knows?" I’m staying away from this one.
MR: I’d love to see Guymon with his hand raised after this one, especially after the problems he’s had in his life, but I’m thinking Yoshida takes it.
More KOs/TKOs or submissions at UFC 113?
BG: KOs/TKOs. 93% of Potato Nation can’t be wrong, can they? CAN THEY?!
MR: I agree with BG, but I’m thinking decisions are going to rule the night.
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Comments
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:24
@Mike Russel 4hrs away?.......really.....I've gone to many fights and quite honestly if you are not inside of the first 15rows or paying over $600.00 for a ticket, I find the fights are better to watch on PPV anyway.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:28
I'll go with inferior Ben
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:28
@Get Off Me...Yeah. I've covered a lot of events in the past five years, but haven't been to a UFC event. Press row offers a pretty good vantage point, but circumstances haven't allowed me to attend any of the Canadian shows. I'm holding out for Toronto, so I can sleep in my own bed.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:31
@cariouslesions Really. How would you know if you've only been a member here for 3 weeks?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:34
I actually won the VIP party in Columbus and hung out with the better Ben.... but you haven't been here long enough to remember I suppose. I felt it was only worth commenting on this site to wish Ben Fowlkes farewell, and to mourn the death of my favorite website.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:36
Mike Russell>> Just sent something to Ben via email RE: Paulo Filho. If i need to send it to you instead, message me with a good email address.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:39
Cariouslesios>> Thank you for your oh-so-kind concern. Now fuck off, troll. The reports of CP's death have been greatly exaggerated.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:44
My picks: Machida via 4th rd tko Kos via UD Kimbo via 1st rd youtube uppercut Sam Stout via 2nd rd tko Alan Belcher via UD Tom Lawler via being impossible to pick against Marcus Davis via 1st rd tko If I win (best picks) - CP owes me an article dedicated to how awesome I am (I'll write it if they want me to) If I lose - CP writes an article about how shitty I am (I'll write it if they want me to) Deal?.....
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:46
You can defend your boyfriend all you want ReX13. I suppose if signing up for an account after reading for three years to say wish good luck to one of the writers, whom I've actually had a face to face conversation with, then commenting that the new writer is not funny, as in, at all, makes me a troll then fair enough.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:47
@MikeRussel Well, after reading your guys picks I find myself sensuously sandwiched between both of you in a sexy statistical melange of tough choices. Goldstein, your picks are solid. Safe, even. Mr. Russell, you strike me as a gambling man and I can dig it my Canadian brother, but we differ on a few. I say that Hague pulls it off. This is a redemption shot for him and I think he's gonna go for it pretty hard. Kimbo, eh, we'll see, depends on how smart Mitrione plays it. Cote as well, its hard to bet on ring rust, but its not like we're talking James Irvin here. Cote is one tough mother, rusty or not. All in all good fights. And cariouslesions, come on man, the death of CP melodramatics are old, playa.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:48
So are you really a dwarf? I ain't gonna rag on you thats fucked up it just surprised me. Oh and Goldsteins picture is prime. Put that on Match.com and you'll have desperate housewives all on your jock.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:52
@CapitalQ What are you talking about? I'm average height, but I wouldn't call myself a dwarf.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:55
new Ben... not Ben... inferior Ben... forget all of them, and change your name to Dover...
Fri, 05/07/10 - 03:55
Well then your head is of Tito proportions. Must have a big brain.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:00
@Mike Russel Damn, man. I'm contrary by nature too, but are you just not allowed to pick the same thing as Goldstein as some inaugural fight-picks hazing?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:01
Wait, which one's the Jew? The tough lookin midget, right?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:03
Mike, fellow Canadian or no, I gotta say your picks are WHACK, dude. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. WhaddoIknow anyway.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:30
One day! That's all I ask. Let me get throught one day without a cool guy reminding me how not funny this site has become. Not exactly sure how fight predictions are supposed to be can't miss comedy, but still. That being said, I hear bloodyelbows pretty.. pretty... it's pr.. What I'm trying to say is, Play on, Playas. You will be missed. Not by me, but I'm sure redfiretruckfuck or Brazilian Clay Aiken will. Go now. Go and flourish, we're only holding you down(facepalm/eye roll). Go. Just go. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:33
@ Mike Russell I can appreciate your national pride, but did you really have to pick every Canadian that is on the card? I mean, Jonathan Goulet.....really? I'm not to sure how it works up there, but do they take away your standard issue Mountie hat, maple leaf lapel-pin, and free healthcare if you don't root for the home team? Just curious.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:47
Who would of thought the Jew would of been the better looking of the two, damn. The one I really don't get is Doerkson. Really? Probably fucking not and I am Canadian.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:48
who the hell is that midget? and btw, ReX13, please get off Mike Russell's nuts and do something productive with your time, thank you.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 04:57
Dam Guusbuster, are you playing devil's advocate or just pissed that BG got to pick first and you didn't want to look like a copy cat? Either way, I'm glad someone has the balls to pick Doerksen. That photo is pretty funny too. Nice monocle Goldstein. Side note, wtf happened to skeletor?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:03
ghost>> yeah, i've noticed skeletor has been gone for a while now too. What's up?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:07
that midget is hot. I've always sort of had a midget fetish. You're worming your way into my heart, MRuss.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:18
lol average height. Man if you looked like a midget, as in the picture, but were... say 5'10, it'd be the greatest thing I've ever seen. Holy shit would that be scary. TLC special here you come! PS. I hope your not that midget. Oh and fuck people hating, I haven't even noticed the differences in CP after BF's departure. He was funny yes, but so is MR. Honestly, if I didn't know,I wouldn't of noticed.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:19
@ KillDozer It's about time somebody spoke on dudes HEAVY DUTY jockin!!! @ ReX13 You seem like a real MMA fan, and usually have some great comments, but why do you defend "the new dude" so tough? Do you know him? I'm not gonna sit here and say that CP is dead, but MR just has a different style than BF, and a lot of us just haven't completely warmed up to him yet. I want him to do well, and I'll support this site cause I have for a long time, but dude.....come on.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:37
Change is something that some people just simply do not handle well. A colleague of mine once described the effect of having a new boss in this way: "Change is like flushing the toilet. We are all a bunch of turds... some of us go down the drain, and some of us stay afloat." So, turds, if you can't hang, take El Guapo's advice and go. Just go. And, KillDozer, you need to change your attitude. ReX makes a positive contribution to this site. You? Well, let's just say your contributions stink like your taint breath.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:38
KillDozer, Smitty>> It's two things: 1) I love me some CP. I'm not gonna lie and say that i've been here forever, or what, but i enjoy the writing, and i enjoy the community. So part of it is me defending BG and CP, and saying that i trust him to pick someone that he thinks will fit in. 2) i pull for the underdog. i don't know Mike, but i know he's coming into a hostile situation where his job description involves "entertain these bloodthirsty bastards". That's some tough shit. And the more i see people try to tear down the new guy, the more i want to move farther out to counter-balance it. MRuss is different than BFowlkes. There, i said it. Does that make him inferior? Fuck, no, son. I love me some BF--as anyone who has been reading him at mmafighting should know. But i think Mike walked into a raw deal, and that's some harsh shit. Bad enough he's got to be funny on command; dude's got to be funny on command while people tell him how bad he sucks. Now look i like you guys. Smitty and KillDozer have both been around for awhile, and if you two want to extend your opinions, that's fine. Other established guys that want to say that things have taken a turn, fine. But it pisses me the fuck off when some Elbowtroll comes in to stir shit up. If i smell that, imma come down on those fuckers with both feet. People seem to think i'm a suck up, or whatever, and that's fine. Think what you want. But when i say "war potato", it's not for my health, and it's not because i'm trying to impress Goldstein, or Mike, or anyone else. Whether we admit it or not, we share our thoughts quite a bit here. We're a community, if not a family. And where i come from... you don't fuck with my family.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:39
Those under card multiplier winners had better come up trumps. As for the main card, I think there are way too many outcomes. Meathead can stand and bang and probably hasn't got the gas tank. Kimbo can bang and definitely doesn't have the gas tank. Belcher's looked good over his last couple of fights but doesn't have the knock out power to stop Cote who in turn has got to be rusty and deluded after his loss to Anderson Silva. Koscheck versus Daley all comes down to which Koscheck turns up, the wrestler or the would be striker. Shogun versus Machida's last fight was a razor thin decision, they looked very even last time. Too much coin tossing and way too much heart involved. Personally, I hope Machida gets hit really hard by Shogun and that Koscheck comes to bang and finds out why Daley is known as Semtex...
Fri, 05/07/10 - 05:46
And surely Mike should be brought into the CagePotato family by making the FightPicker an ipecac challenge (as watching Ben G spewing uncontrollably will always keep me entertained!)
Fri, 05/07/10 - 06:10
So, is the Gusbuster really a midget or what?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 07:25
@iDestroy how much does a polar bear weigh? LOL @fag haters-I'm newer, just a few months but Rex IS always positive and funny. So is CPupils. Your a g'damn mole.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 07:27
Yes, Guusbuster is a midge. He is also a Canadian. But he is still a person, and Crom still loves him. @Rex - I think he is probably dead. Or Chris Hansen caught him. SKELETOR!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU????
Fri, 05/07/10 - 07:43
Well I'd say I've been posting here as long as anyone, and I gotta say that MRuss is holding down well, playa. Especially in the face of all the shit the trolls of CP give him. Props. -C-Bus also, WAR POTATO!!!
Fri, 05/07/10 - 07:54
Yeah dude, the last time skeletor showed up he had words with some dude and left. It was only like 2 comments and neither one of them were funny, so I think there was something wrong with him even then. I'm really startin to worry, you guys. I was startin to worry about Steampunk too, but thank (insert obscure god) he showed up again.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 07:55
Whoever is hating on Mike for not being funny must have a seriously low IQ. I mean, come on, Goulet winning by TKO... I couldn't even read beyond that because I was pissing myself.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 08:01
@your dumb lol
Fri, 05/07/10 - 08:13
@MRuss- After seeing that pic now I know why Gus Johnson called you out over everybody else. It's because you're Canadian. I get it now. He thought he could get all ghetto and your canuck ass would cowher. But you stood TALL, reached new HEIGHTS, and have GROWN from that experience. You sure proved who the BIGGER man was. I wish you a LENGTHY career @ CP and nothing SHORT of a Pullitzer. I kid, keep up the good work gangsta.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 08:40
I don't know why, but I just have this image in my head of Kimbo armbar-ing the shit out of Mitrione. :) What are the odds of that shit? +1000000?
Fri, 05/07/10 - 08:50
@ Rex. 100% with you on every point, CP is a fucken fun place to hang out, in a perfect world Potato Nation would be a sportsbar within walking distance of all our homes, And fuck the trolls. been a bit of "Ive been reading for the past 3 years and I just decided to submit a mindless troll about spelling, or death of CP or Faghaters or blablabla" happening lately, if we smell BE we will kick you trolls square in da nutz And MRuss, Newdad, Gusbuster keep it up dude love your work
Fri, 05/07/10 - 08:53
Mike, Doerkzen over Lawlor, seriously? I disagree my friend.
Fri, 05/07/10 - 10:54
i'm sorry cecils_pupils, but who the fuck are you again? My guess would be some really funny original dude who read Cecil Pupils' remarks about leg kicks after the Machida vs Rua fight and decided to create an account with the same name. In that case I dont give a fuck. I'm sure your comments are really positive and all... very good for the community and some shit like that. Suppose they are better than mine, but again I dont care. Yes, thank you, would you like to fuck off now? P.S. I got a black belt in Key-Board-Doo!
Sat, 05/08/10 - 12:11
Did anyone read MR's article on Guymon? Overwrought purple prose straight from a high-school newspaper. How the fuck does this guy write for the UFC and my beloved Potato?
Sat, 05/08/10 - 05:08
I dont know how you can pick goulet over davis, goulets chin is horrible, prolly the worst in MMA and Davis is a decent boxer, lights out first round for Goulet.
Sat, 05/08/10 - 10:13
MR? Is that a baby? I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs...I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs...I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs...!
Sat, 05/08/10 - 11:57
@WalksInTheDarkness I think your right on the money man, a good hazing would hopefully end all the hating on the new pappy and a video of Mike puking, or whatever, would confirm if Mike is or is not a "little person?" I honestly don't know if his picture was a joke or if that is him
Sat, 05/08/10 - 11:59
P.S. sweet monocle BG
Sat, 05/08/10 - 12:38
@Kimbo's bread: ...With barbacoo sauze.
Sat, 05/08/10 - 12:47
I definitely thought the picture of the dwarf was supposed to be a joke, juxtaposed to a Goldstien photoshop and after Rex's much lauded comments about how badass and politically incorrect the epic Potato Nation was.
Sat, 05/08/10 - 11:57
@ ReX13 Really bro??? You'll "defend" them? We're "family"??? I've been comin here a long time. I was even posting under another name for a while before I changed to Smitty. As for myself, I don't have anything against Mr. Russell. I don't know the man (or half a man as it turns out to be :), and neither do you. Why make it so personal then??? When I started on this site, people would give Bens (F and G) some shit from time to time when they weren't on top of their game. I'm not gonna jump ship cause "I hate the new guy", I don't hate him, "some" of his shit just ain't funny to me. I like CP, and I'll continue to come here, but it's just a place to get some GREAT MMA info, it's not a fraternity or, a brotherhood or some shit like that. If you and I both never visited this site again, Ben and Mike wouldn't show up at your door lookin for you or flood your email inbox with "where ya beens". Quit all the theatrics, enjoy the news, and enjoy the ride. You are one of the people here that's easily likeable, and I enjoy most of your comments, but I just felt like you were jockin a little much like Kildozer said. CP fa life baby....CP fa mutha fuckin life!!!
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