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MMA FightPicker Head-to-Head: UFC 114 Edition

(There’s only one song that can put Rashad Evans in the proper headspace before a fight: Lee DeWyze‘s cover of "Beautiful Day." Photoprops: allelbows.)

We’re going to try a little something different for this week’s H2H column. Instead of going through all the MMA FightPicker questions for UFC 114, we’re just going to cover a handful of them, and pepper in a few questions that Mike Russell has generously pulled out of his ass. (By the way, have you joined a FightPicker pool yet for this weekend? Because you really should. No, really. No, seriously.) Check out our analysis of Saturday night’s card below, and make sure to come back tomorrow for our always-entertaining liveblog of the fights, starting with the Spike TV prelims broadcast at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. And let’s begin…

Quinton Jackson vs. Rashad Evans @ UFC 114: Who will win?
MR: I’m picking Evans. I just think that Rashad’s wrestling and conditioning will be too much for Rampage. The fact that we never saw Quinton without a shirt on, that it’s rumored he was smoking like a chimney while on the set of The A-Team and that his face looks like Anthony Anderson’s makes me bet against him.
BG: Yeah, I have Evans by decision for this one. Besides the conditioning disadvantage, Rampage has become such a one-dimensional boxer in his last fights. He could always catch Rashad with a knockout punch, but he’s not going to present anything that will surprise Evans.

Will they quash their beef after the fight?
MR: No. If anything, I can see them having to be restrained by their corners when it’s all over. If Rashad wins, he’ll likely not be respectful on the mic, but if Rampage has his hand raised he’ll go off about how Rashad pissed him off and he had to teach him a lesson.
BG: For the most part, Rashad has that Team Jackson martial-artist-respect thing going on. If he wins, I think he’ll shout out Rampage as a great fighter who he has a ton of admiration for — even if it’s just to make himself look like the bigger man.

Michael Bisping vs. Dan Miller: Who wins it and how?
MR: As much as I hate to say it, I think the Count is going to TKO Miller. He doesn’t have knockout power, but Dan has seemed a bit out of sorts, possibly due to his personal tragedies.
BG: I agree. If Miller can’t beat Demian Maia in a stand-up "war," his chances don’t look good here. Bisping’s a good finisher when he smells blood, and a TKO seems likely.

Bonus: If Bisping wins will he call for a title shot or mention that he feels he beat Wanderlei?
MR: Yes. Narcissism is a helluva drug.
BG: A title shot? Is Bisping really that delusional. Wandy’s name will be in his mouth, guaranteed, but I think even the Count knows that you have to win at least two fights in a row to become a title contender.

Todd Duffee vs. Mike Russow: Who’s getting KTFO?
MR: I think Russow’s going down early.
BG: I’ll go out on a limb and say that Russow makes it to round 2. But yeah, Duffman will be in the running for another KTFO of the Night bonus.

Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Jason Brilz: Will Brilz Sokoudjou Lil’ Nog?
MR: No. I think that was a fluke. Nogueira won’t make the same mistake again.
BG: Brilz is going to get his ass dug, in the most hetero sense of the phrase.

Bonus: Will Goldie mention his brother Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira more than once during the fight?
MR: Definitely.
BG: He’ll probably call him Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira at least once during the fight.

Diego Sanchez vs. John Hathaway: Who takes it?
MR: Diego via positive energy and Stevia saturation.
BG: Diego, because Jesus has $50 on the fight.

How does it end?
MR: I’m thinking by some sort of submission.
BG: Decision. Hathaway is tougher than you may be giving him credit for.

Bonus: Will Diego repeat his "Yes" mantra on the way to the Octagon?
MR: YES!!!…..YES!!!….YES!!! *does three cartwheels*
BG: I spent time with Diego this week, and I can exclusively reveal that his new mantra will be WHY?!?…WHY?!?…WHY?!? The answer to that question is there is no answer, and understanding that is the path to enlightenment.

Amir Sadollah vs. Dong Hyun Kim: Who ya got?
MR: Sadollah by a similar beating to the one he gave Baroni. Kim had problems with an out of shape Karo who was hopped up on pain killers. I don’t see him getting through Amir with his hand raised.
BG: Agreed. Kim has been away/injured for too long. Sadollah by decision.

Efrain Escudero vs. Dan Lauzon: Who wins?
MR: I’m thinking Escudero, and not just because Dany has issues with his camp. I think Lauzon is going to get stopped before the third.
BG: Yep. Camp drama aside, Escudero is just a better fighter than Lauzon, and he won’t have any of the peripheral baggage to deal with. Hecho en Mexico could end this within the first five minutes.

Bonus: Will either commentator mention his family/trainer issues?
MR: Yes.
BG: Yes, but only after Dan loses in humiliating fashion.

Melvin Guillard vs. Waylon Lowe: Will Guillard’s training with Team Jackson pay off with a win?
MR: I think Melvin is a tough opponent for anybody at 155, he has just seemed to have had so many lapses in judgment during fights he should have won in the past that being with Jackson’s can’t hurt. I’m thinking he’ll take it by TKO/KO.
BG: You have to remember that Guillard has won three of his last four Octagon appearances, and has looked pretty damn capable doing it. Waylon Lowe is a protege of Jorge Gurgel, which means he probably has the skills to submit Guillard on the ground, but will idiotically choose to stand and bang. Guillard by stoppage.

*EXTRA BONUS: Name three celebrities that will be shown on the broadcast (one point each).
MR: I’m guessing David Spade, at least one of Rampage’s A-Team co-stars and Michael Clarke Duncan.
BG: I’m with you on David Spade, and I’ll also go with Jessica Biel and Bradley Cooper — as well as Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg, Forrest Whitaker, Sam Worthington of "Avatar," New York Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, at least one NHL all-star, The A-Team director Joe Carnahan and Daniel Sunjat of Rescue Me. Call it a hunch.

Cagepotato Comments

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dranokills- May 28, 2010 at 7:02 pm
MR and BG you are both wrong on the Rampage and Evans fight.
Also lay off my boy Sanchez, weren't you told to be nice to all Vag-heads?

"He died of a brain hemorrhage. Is that a different kind of stroke?"
yeahhhhhhh, to soon.
2DaDeath- May 28, 2010 at 4:38 pm
He died of a brain hemorrhage. Is that a different kind of stroke?
justscrappin- May 28, 2010 at 3:16 pm
513 says...Gary Coleman must have looked at Ken Shamrock wrong.
2DaDeath- May 28, 2010 at 2:49 pm
In other news...

Gary Coleman is dead.
ReX13- May 28, 2010 at 2:47 pm
You guys forgot the UnderTaker as celeb in the crowd. That guy never misses a UFC.


What the fuck do you mean, "He doesn't count?"
Fedor vs. Bas- May 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Yea Brandon Jacobs!!! New York Football Giants!

I think Rampage will pull off the surprise victory.
Titos Head- May 28, 2010 at 2:21 pm
PortlandMMA- May 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm
^ Wish you would've told me that before I made a fool of myself at the credit union.
El Guapo- May 28, 2010 at 2:15 pm
I guess I COULD see Rashad l(g)aying and praying his way to a boring de.. Naaaa, Rampage by manslaughter!!

My money's no good in the Northwest and some parts of Canada. Had a lil "incident" with the authorities/Mounties.
hows taste my pee pee- May 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Where are the prize pools?
cecils_pupils- May 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I want someone to beat the fuck outta Rampage, but Rashad ain't the man to do it. Rashad's gonna be seeing stars, little birdies will fly in circles around his head, and we gonna see yet another Punch Face of the year. Sweet... chin... music.
justscrappin- May 28, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Welcome back beautiful.
Kellenavalanche- May 28, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Diego coming out and yelling "WHY?!" would probably be the funniest thing I've ever seen. hahahahahaha. With this puzzled look on his face, looking up to the rafters. hahahahaha
PortlandMMA- May 28, 2010 at 1:55 pm
@ 513

Dude we know thats not the one and only he would have cussed and freaked out waaay more.

@ El Guapo

I tried but the teller said insufficient funds.
513- May 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Ken Shamrock > all
PortlandMMA- May 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm
@ Lex Luthor

Al Bundy just doesn't get football credit he deserves.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm
@ Cageporktato

You can't leave out Vince Vaughn or Louie Anderson. While I disagree with some of your analysis, I agree with the humorous content of this posting, you meshugana schmendricks.

I concur, Rampage via black on black crime.
Goat- May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Because I GOTTA'!
El Guapo- May 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm
The teller will probably look at you funny, but just tell 'em I sent you and you SHOULD be cool. Emphasis on should.
Lex Luthor- May 28, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I would have to agree with the Rampage vs Rashad assessment. No matter who wins, some one will be raising the BS flag and calling the other fighter names.

I really like to watch fights when the fighters really hate each other. They usually go for blood and that's entertaining!

Rashad will most likely try to take Rampage down a lot and try to ground him out, but will take it to a decision that will setup R vs R II.

4 game. Polk High.
El Guapo- May 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Rampage by Murder!! Take it to the bank... and deposit that shit!