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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

MMA in the Wild: Redneck Kickboxer Defends Fiancee’s Honor, Wins on Points [VIDEO]


(Props: CRE)

When two drunk jackasses swing haymakers at each other in front of a nightclub, it’s a street fight. When a redneck with a tattoo of a backbone down his back throws multiple spinning wheel-kicks, knees from the clinch, and what appears to a Superman punch (1:13 mark) during a personal dispute, it’s something different. It’s something we like to call…MMA in the Wild.

To summarize, beefy dude in the tank top has allegedly been sending inappropriate messages to shirtless guy’s girlfriend on the Facebook. Shirtless guy intercepts the messages, and then, posing as his own girlfriend, he continues the conversation just to gather more evidence, I guess, and not because he actually enjoys posing as a girl on Facebook. So, shirtless dude posses up with some of his bros (just in case things get out of hand) and confronts tank top dude on a porch, whose denials are not well-received. As it turns out, tank top dude has a hell of a chin, but it isn’t much of a “fight,” per se.

In the end, shirtless guy is unable to secure the stoppage he was looking for, but he has clearly made a statement to the rest of the redneck lightweight porch-fighting division. You can bet that “Say Goodnight!” guy was watching this scrap with great interest.

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masterbaitntackle- November 28, 2012 at 6:58 am
@ master betty: hopefully some big black gay guy buttfucks you...monkey style
masterbaitntackle- November 28, 2012 at 6:55 am
Cecil Peoples would have scored this fight 10-8 for the guy wearing the wife-beater
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NinjaVanish- August 3, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Entraping someone over to attack them with a bunch of your friends around is some straight up pussy shit. It's always easy to fight someone who dosen't want to fight you.
JudgeHolden- August 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Funny article. Goofy as shit video. I wonder if Hill-Bunky #1 realized that this video was being recorded for a "hip-hop.com" website.

This is one of those weird cultural artifacts, where a deep-south redneck has been apparently socialized by mainstream black culture (the hip-hop video, the fine Afro-centric gentlemen standing beyond the camera), facebook, and televised MMA. This is a video record of how stupid white people take on new forms, thanks to the internet and television.

100 years ago Shirtless Johnson would have stumbled upon Beef Tits porking his wife in a cornfield, and bashed Tits's head in with a moonshine jug. Nowadays, facebook ninja rolls up with his homies and drops some UFC on this hapless retard. We live in a weird world.
nickyroose- August 3, 2012 at 12:06 pm
I have been on the part of the big guy before. Fought some guys who were just waaay more athletic, faster, etc. but the fact is when a dude lands 7 punches and you get one takedown and land three big ones, you still win.
kmfdmkid- August 3, 2012 at 9:57 am
The good news? He might have taken a few Thai boxing classes. The bad news? He's got the power of a small, angry child.
Mofo- August 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm
AWESOME AWESOME VIDEO. Post another one every day!!
Mofo- August 2, 2012 at 9:13 pm
It's not entrapment when some dude is trynna pop his beer cap in your fiance's tight little bottle opener. Fatty deserved a beatdown. Shirtless just wasn't up to the task. He's only used to Bruce Lee'ing the SHIT out of his wet laundry on the clothes line. He just spinning back kicks the water right OFF those sheets.
holeeball- August 3, 2012 at 2:29 am
Haven't you heard? Shirtless guy said in the video he was the one sending and receiving the messages. That is (would be) entrapment (if the guy was a LEO). As it is it's just a bunch of shirtless bitchery.
holeeball- August 2, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Seems clear entrapment. Shirtless dude passed himself for his bitch and invited big guy over in order to kick his ass for no other reason than being an insecure little bitch and securing a lame video with piss poor commentary by his bodyguards.
Viva Hate- August 2, 2012 at 1:36 pm
WAR Redneck Nick Diaz!
paskhl- August 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm
The shirtless dumba** had skills but no zittin power whatsoever...lol Oh man that was funny..COMICAL!!
#FacebookWar
Fried Taco- August 2, 2012 at 1:03 pm
"Lay off the steroids, they are going to your head"
graciegjj- August 2, 2012 at 11:39 am
Man that was pretty interesting. . .lol. In the beginning it look liked he might end the fight... Everything looked pretty bad but did not do much could have though.. That guy should have gotten out of there faster.
Dakota_Alyn- August 2, 2012 at 11:37 am
"I'm a BEAST MOTHERFUCKER!" best part of the video hahaha.
graciegjj- August 2, 2012 at 11:42 am
oh i missed that or forgot need to watch again lol
Viva Hate- August 2, 2012 at 10:37 am
Okay, if you are in a fight and the other guys decides to sit down, you most likely aren’t beating him down as much as you think.
ReX13- August 2, 2012 at 9:49 am
FUCK THAT HAT
The12ozCurls- August 2, 2012 at 9:11 am
Wow! How pissed do you think the people in Brazil are to hear that the cast from "The Hills Have Eyes" actually use Facebook - which means they actually have the internet too.
jk
Ringo- August 2, 2012 at 9:09 am
Pathetic
GistoftheFist- August 2, 2012 at 8:48 am
Winner via verbal wussout: Dingus Squatford Jr. Maybe he could use his fight money to buy a shirt.
beef_kurtains- August 2, 2012 at 8:44 am
Shirtless dude went to the Bisping School of power. Jeebus dude. The bitch slap was the hardest shot he threw. Fag.
TheTruthBaby- August 2, 2012 at 8:31 am
Ha, ha!! Weak!! That country turd through a cheap shot and then a barrage of uncontested punches and kicks and barely hurt the guy. If the other dude had any heart, he would have floored that flailing wuss. Couldn't even keep his feet. Weak punches and weak kicks. I've knocked people to sleep with a single contested punch. He couldn't do anything but knat punch an unwilling fighter, who calmly walked away. "Guess what?" you punch and kick with the power of a 12 year old. His girl will drop his sorry butt - maybe not now, but she will - trust me. Disgrace to "MMA".
Fletch the V Stretch- August 2, 2012 at 8:30 am
Homeboy did has some speed in the hands and decent kicks. With some fine tuning he might could have ended the fight. Probs to the big dumb guy for not realizing how stupid he actually was. Either leave or fight. Don't stand around getting punched and kicked in the face trying to say you are sorry. Fucking idiot. And seriously, why was he at boy's house and trying to hit on his fiance. Seems even more dumb than previously thought.
J.Jones- August 2, 2012 at 8:30 am
Not gonna lie, when I read "drunk jackasses" and "spinning wheel kick" I did not expect said wheel kick to land as well as it did.
Master_Betty- August 2, 2012 at 8:29 am
The monkeys are gay too? Dear God.
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