Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

MMA Stock Market™ — “UFC 137: Penn vs. Diaz” Edition

(Allow us to introduce you to Nelson Roy III, the brilliant hedge fund manager who has absolutely no relation to that fighting hillbilly you saw on Saturday. / Photo via MMAJunkie.)

By Jason Moles

If you decided to play the new CagePotato drinking game this weekend, you’re probably way too hung over to think about your financial future right now. But now that the dust has settled from UFC 137, you owe it to yourself to study our insightful and highly opinionated rundown of where to direct your hypothetical MMA investments. It’s “Buy, Sell, Hold” time once again, Potato Nation…

“The Prodigy” BJ Penn – Sell

Even if Nick Diaz Pulls a Nick Diaz, Retires BJ Penn” href=”” target=”_blank”>Baby Jay is pulling a Jamie Varner (man I hope that’s not a euphemism) as Mr. Falvo so eloquently put it, the writing on the wall has been there for a while now even if the majority of fans didn’t bother to read it. BJ announcing his retirement Saturday night may have been a moment of weakness when his emotions got the best of him which led to a rash decision, but let me remind you (just like every other single story you read today about “The Prodigy”) that Penn has went 1-3-1 in his last five fights. The Hawaiian may fight again to collect another paycheck but there is no more money to be made as a shareholder.

Nick Diaz – Buy it like they’re giving it away for free!

The twenty-eight year old Stockton, California native showed everyone that effective boxing, stellar jiu-jitsu, and cardiovascular stamina that makes the Energizer Bunny look like Roy Nelson at UFC 130, is a tasty recipe for success, even in the UFC. Inside the cage, Nick Diaz can scrap with the best of them. Although slightly awkward on the mic, Diaz evokes emotion and gets heat from everyone in earshot. You should overlook his professional shortcomings as long as Dana White continues to do the same; do that and you’ll be in the money once February comes when Diaz takes on the welterweight champion, Georges St. Pierre.

“Les plus sales du monde combattant” Cheick Kongo – Sell, Sell, Sell!

Mr. Kongo, if that is even his real last name, (Note: It’s not. I checked.) did what no other man in the UFC has been able to do – beat Matt Mitrione . Wait, what?! Those fights in the TUF house don’t count. Anyway, back to what I was saying, where was I? Oh yeah, Cheick Kongo finally realized he was in a fight and even managed to win. His stock is relatively high and the extra cash really comes in handy this close to Christmas. Not only did his performance leave a bad taste in the fan’s mouth, it clearly proved that Congo would never be a world-beater. Dirty fighter he is, ‘in the mix’ he is not.

Matt Mitrione a.k.a. “Meathead” – Hold

During the co-main event of UFC 137, Matt Mitrione showed that big moments still get the best of him, despite his having played in the National Football League. The former TUF 10 contestant is what he says he is, “a baby in mixed martial arts.” I was neither impressed nor unimpressed with his showing on Saturday night against a seasoned veteran in Kongo. We’re still in a fragile market. It would be foolish to write this guy off or jump on his bandwagon.

Mirko ‘Cro Cop’ Filipovic – SOL

As a common shareholder, you have little recourse when it comes to a company declaring bankruptcy. In a nut shell, the company sells all of its assets in order to pay the government,  financial institutions, other creditors (i.e. suppliers and utility companies), bondholders, preferred shareholders and, finally, you. If you’re lucky, you might get back enough money to buy UFC replica belt… just Jon Jones Used to Sing in Jazz Choir, and Other Uncomfortable Revelations” href=”” target=”_blank”>don’t ask Jon Jones to sign it.

In his post TKO loss interview with Joe Rogan, Mirko ‘Cro Cop’ declared that we wouldn’t be seeing him fight again. “I was treated like a king from the beginning. It’s in my best interest that this is my farewell fight, thanks everybody.” No, “Thank you, Mr. Filipovic.”

“Big Country” Roy Nelson – Sell it like a dog with fleas.

Although he debuted a “more buff” body, Roy Nelson is still the same fighter who’s dropped two of his last three fights with his only win coming at the hands of the aging Mirko ‘Cro Cop’. Watch Dana White give him the winner of Alistair Overeem: “Brock Won’t Make It Out of the First Round”” href=”” target=”_blank”>Lesnar vs. Overeem and you’ll see “Big Country” go belly up.

Scott “Young Guns” Jorgensen – Hold

In late 2010, Scott Jorgensen lost a unanimous decision to Dominic Cruz at WEC 53 for both the WEC and UFC Bantamweight title. Since then, he’s rattled off a pair of wins in hopes to get back in the mix. Jorgensen needs to face and defeat stiffer competition before you should move your money in either direction.

Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone – Buy! Buy! Buy!

Let’s examine for a moment the stats of “Cowboy” Cerrone in 2011: 4-0 record, 2 submissions, 1 TKO, 1 Unanimous decision, 1 each: Submission, Knockout, and Fight of the Night. — And he wants to fight again before the year is over. If your pockets are deep enough, I suggest you pick up some DCC to hedge your portfolio.

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

Sort by : Show hidden comments
zhchoo- November 2, 2011 at 10:41 am
top ufc films in ,welcome to visit
xomxomxom- November 2, 2011 at 12:58 am
===== ========
New online store,you can find many cheap and fashion stuff
madcowboy- October 31, 2011 at 7:25 pm
HOLY batman Big country Nelson is now little nicky.....
Kimbo Lesnar- October 31, 2011 at 2:45 pm
I am not saying that Roy is the future of the HW division, but IMO he is far from junk stock. And he weighed in at 252 looking much beefier, AND with who knows how many pounds of padding on?? If he is down to 245, then another 6 months and LHW could be within cut range. I hope he gives it a shot, and I would want to watch that...
itsgalf- October 31, 2011 at 2:40 pm
The Housing Market is down. Buy buy buy!
RubberyDucky- October 31, 2011 at 12:50 pm
My illegal stream didnt have a forward button. :(
Iskander Neptu- October 31, 2011 at 12:37 pm
or dancing around either, like these two Jokers. Thank god for the forward button.
Iskander Neptu- October 31, 2011 at 12:35 pm
How did Meathead win? There was no significant striking and he got out-grappled. He gave up too. Back to crushing cans, Meathead.
Dana should install a Worst Fight of the Night penalty... Everyone would shit their pants. No more Lay and pray assholes.
jimbonics- October 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I said COULD HAVE.. you cockgobblers. As in, giving these shitty judges the benefit of the doubt, a draw was the BEST they could have done for Kongo. Meathead won that shit.
Prime example of how a flashy third round can win a decision.
flyingogoplata- October 31, 2011 at 11:27 am
@ PenFifteen

Nelson may only weigh 8 pounds less than last fight but he is clearly in much better shape. Once he builds more muscle the fat will come off even quicker.

Plus he lost 2 more pounds when he shaved that Grizzly Adams beard and mullet after the fight.
TheWarsawExpress- October 31, 2011 at 11:07 am
I didn't go to school for this captcha!
nickyroose- October 31, 2011 at 10:48 am
Someone had it 27-30 Kongo and that sir, is fucking madness.
nickyroose- October 31, 2011 at 10:47 am
@ccman and @Jiffynuts

I had that shit for Meathead 29-28. I believe in a ten point must Meathead wins. this however is part of the problem. I would say cheick did more in the last round than Mits did in the first two but again had him behind in the total b/c that is no 10-8. But that's the problem, It should have been 6-5, 6-4, 3-8. win for Kongo as 15-17 seems more correct somehow.
FilmDrunk- October 31, 2011 at 10:19 am
Also, did anyone else notice that Kongo had nipple rings in the pre-fight hype reel?
FilmDrunk- October 31, 2011 at 10:17 am
Am I the only one who thinks the BJ retirement talk is overblown? How about he just fight at lightweight, where he's lost to one dude in the last nine years, who happens to be the current champion? The guy might not be able to gameplan for shit, but he stills seems pretty capable.
skeletor- October 31, 2011 at 10:13 am
@jimbonics-The fact that you would even score that round 10-8 makes your opinion on any other round invalid.
I'm pretty convinced that you may actually be Cecil Peoples
ccman- October 31, 2011 at 10:10 am
I had Mitrone first 2 rounds and there was no way i was scoring 3rd 10-8 without insulting every other 10-8 round ever scored before it.
danomite- October 31, 2011 at 10:01 am
How do you know how the stock market works? You didn't go to school for that shit.
jimbonics- October 31, 2011 at 9:56 am
I'd LOVE to know which bat-shit judge scored it 30-27 for Kongo. I had Meatrione taking the first two rounds. Third round could have been a 10-8 Kongo, making it a draw.
Ringo- October 31, 2011 at 9:37 am
@jf I saw that mitrione won the first two rounds but it was close.
RAY316- October 31, 2011 at 9:33 am
Oh and by the way...I can live without spell check but wtf is up with using babel fish for Kongo's nickname?

“Les plus sales du monde combattant” doesn't mean jackshit!
RAY316- October 31, 2011 at 9:31 am
Penn never really impressed me as a WW...who did he beat except Hughes?

Diaz, was sharp...once Penn gassed! Why not have him fight Condit for the #1 contender spot?

I like Mitrione's crazy ass but knew he was too hyped. Kongo wasn't that impressive either.

Nelson and Cro Cop are irrelevent.

Liked Jorgensen's performance but I still dunno what the future holds for him...

As always, Cerrone was entertaining but let's see him against a top wrestler before we hop on his nuts.

Carmont is the one who impressed me the most although I didn't see the Starks fight.

Pretty shitty card if you ask me.
Pen Fifteen- October 31, 2011 at 9:25 am
I can't tell if you're being serious or not, but Nelson weighed in at 252 for this fight, down from 260 for the Frank Mir fight, which took place 5 months ago. So, assuming he could cut to 205 from around 220, it should only take him another 4 fights to lose enough to make another weight class, at which point he'll be nearly 40 years old. The dude is better off milking his fat-ass appeal as long as possible and hanging it up whenever the UFC decides to stop giving him fights.
Lesnarischamp- October 31, 2011 at 9:13 am
I pegged one of the rounds of meathead-kongo as a draw and saw it as 29-29. so the 1 round (think the 1st) really could have gone either way if you don't like making rounds a tie. it was tight though, but acceptable because the round Kongo took clearly was the 3rd.
Kimbo Lesnar- October 31, 2011 at 9:08 am
You guys are not impressed with Roy's commitment to a change in physique?! You have never had to lose weight before have you?? If he can keep on it and move down a weight class or two, he will be a monster.