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MMA vs. Boxing, Chapter DXXIV: In Which Adrien Broner Attacks Our Sport Using Good Science [UPDATED]

What’s that, you say? An arrogant, classless boxer trashing MMA using the logic of a medieval squire? Surely you must be mistaken.

When we last checked in on undefeated boxer Adrien Broner, he was casually flushing 20 dollar bills down a Popeye’s toilet. So clearly, the man is a well-studied, soft-spoken individual whose opinion should carry a lot of weight in this world. Take for instance, the argument he presented when recently questioned about whether or not he interacts with MMA fighters.

“No. It’s just, I really don’t look at it as a real sport,” said Broner through his double set of platinum grills, “Cause anybody can come into MMA and learn that. You can’t just come over in boxing and be a world champion. You gotta be born with it.”

Broner then told the interviewer that, “You right now can go to MMA and learn all the submission moves and be a world champion. It don’t matter how long it would take. I don’t give a fuck what you do, you could try to come over here in boxing and you won’t EVER be a world champion.”

Hey guys, at least Broner attacked our sport using some solid reasoning (and refrained from calling us “a bunch of skinhead homosexuals“). We all know that MMA is really a single-discipline sport and once you learn all the moves of said discipline, becoming a world champion is as easy as pie. Just ask third degree BJJ black belt and Pan American black belt champion Giva Santana, who recently retired from MMA with an undefeated record and 14 straight UFC title defenses.

Becoming a boxing champion, on the other hand, is a matter of birthright, not a combination of commitment, training and heart like every other sport. It’s like Broner has never even *seen* A Knight’s Tale, you guys

If you will excuse me, I’m going to go trane some UFC on my lunch break real quick. See you soon, Dana!


Broner has since apologized for hurting our feelings/brains via his Twitter:

To me, the war between Boxing and MMA is kind of like the one between South Park and Family Guy-HEAR ME OUT FOR A SECOND. In one corner, you have the (for the sake of argument) original, more highly-praised and universally accepted sport/show (Boxing/SP). In the other, you have the offshoot, the outcast, the bastard amalgamation of the former and several other entities (MMA/FG). While the latter often praises the former for its longevity and grace, the former has a seemingly endless supply of haterade to dump on the latter for being a cheap knockoff performed/written by hacks, jobbers and bums. But what the majority of the former and a decent percentage of the latter fail to realize is that one can coexist (and even co-promote, in some cases) with the other. Both have their positive and negative aspects, both are unique to some degree and both can be viewed by the same person without their brain imploding due to a conflict of interest.

Man, this Alabama Trampoline is having some interesting effects on my mind. To summarize: WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

-J. Jones

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