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More Tales From the Stank(ie)

(The infamous “he’s going to eat that spit” speech. Inspiring.)

The last time we devoted blog space to Ultimate Fighter coach Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz, some of you complained that we were applying a double-standard by encouraging his drunken antics and denouncing those of Jesse Taylor and Junie Browning. Fair enough, but what you have to remember is this: when a young, strong professional fighter gets drunk and violent, it’s called assault. When a crazy old man who goes by the name “Stankie” does it, it’s hilarious. Why? Because he’s old. The rules are different for old people. The rest of us just have to accept that.

It’s kind of like when you go to a family Thanksgiving and your racist grandfather makes a remark about “those thieving, hot-blooded Latins.” There’s no point in getting upset, and you know he’s just talking about Desi Arnaz anyway. So you do what any minimally functioning family does. You pass the potatoes and pretend it didn’t happen.

Today’s Stankie story comes yet again from Ryan Bader, who seems way more interested in telling these tales than any other cast member, God bless him. This time, it was our very own blogger, Efrain Escudero, who found himself pulled into the mysterious world that Stankie seems to inhabit all by himself:

Stanky had this thing with Efrian Escudero. He liked Efrian a lot but really wanted to spar him. Stanky always told him that he would kick his ass if they boxed. So one day we told Stanky his dreams were going to come true. Nogueira told him he could spar Efrian in straight boxing if he wore the chest/rib protector. They would spar in the ring, with full walkouts and the whole hooray. I would corner Efrian and the rest of the team would be behind Stanky. This made his day, if not year — well, probably decade.

Kyle overheard Stanky while he was hitting the speed bag warming up talking to himself. Stanky was muttering out loud to himself, “Stanky, one last hoorah. This is it, old chap! You’re back in the game! Back in the fire! Do this and you can finally put down the gloves.”


Efrian and I walk out first, make our way to the cage and get him ready. Stanky comes out with the whole team behind him, on top of the world. It almost looks like he was going to break into tears. He entered the cage and gave Efrian a menacing look. (Or was he just squinting to see Efrain across the cage because they took of his glasses?)

The bell sounded, and they are at each other’s throats. Well kind of, considering Efrian could only hit to the body on Nogueira’s persistence. Stanky was actually telling Efrian to engage and heckled Efrian the whole time. In the end Stanky came out on top, with a little help from Efrian, but on top. This was his time, his glory, his moment where he shouted out, “Ponchita!” (His wife’s name.) “Ponchita, I did this for you!” The scene freezes, goes to black and white, and fades out to blackness on his team’s shoulders.

Wow. Seems like Bader gets a little carried away there at the end. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t, and I’m almost expecting him to admit that it was all just a crazy dream he had. Someone please just tell me that there is video evidence of this and possibly other Stankie antics.

Cagepotato Comments

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Anonymous- May 5, 2009 at 3:42 am
Anybody got a video for this? I remember seeing it once and it was funny as all get out!
UFC fan- October 31, 2008 at 5:18 am
is it just me or stankie a weird fucking old man with issues? he babbles some shit and lets you hit on his gloves. I guess hes a good coach, but that dude is fucking weird as hell.
kwagnuth- October 31, 2008 at 2:46 am
Nobama- October 30, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I'm not a Republican. And the opposite of free market capitalism is socialism. Look up the definition and get back to me... "anonymously". Lol.
Robp218- October 30, 2008 at 5:19 pm
First off...this is not CNN. Go elswhere for political crap talking.
Second...Why the f*&k does spike not show that on the TUF? Morons!
Anonymous- October 30, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Obama is a donkey faced black man who speaks in empty platitudes, and is just as committed to bankrupting america and waging unconstitutional war as his "opponent", McInsane, and is there for unfit for any kind of government position, much less president. Americans should do themselves a favor on election day, and elect to stay at home with their families and let this circus pass on by.
who cares- October 30, 2008 at 4:19 pm
walrus- October 30, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Don't pollute Stankie's thread with your political beliefs
Jay Smith- October 30, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Damn Anonymous..................... That's the BEST thing I ever read of yours (whichever fuckin anonymous you are).
Listen, this fake ass prince charles is just trying to rattle our cage. Speaking of cages, we'll see who's the shit on TUF's US vs "The birthplace of techno".
Anonymous- October 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm
lol @ calling obama a socialist. american politics are so fucking far right that obama's platform wouldn't even be considered centrist in canada and europe. it's telling that socialist is considered a slander. look at the UN quality of life surveys for the past 20 years, the top 10 countries are almost always pretty far left leaning (pink commie on the american scale).
by calling obama a socialist you're exposing your personal bias and merely repeating republican talking points. i doubt very much you looked into anyone's policies.

(apologies for derailing this post)
cage potato- October 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm
F*** who ever wrote this piece of coach all
England rules- October 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Man i'm to old to learn any new tricks dude, so ill just put my line in the water and see if i get a bite..

"Aunt Bessy get me the landing net, i've got a Nobama on the line!"
Nobama- October 30, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Hey "England rules: (LOL)

It's no surprise you want Obama. He's a socialist, like most Europeans. I'm actually against Obama because I've studied the policy differences between the two candidates. I know, I know, actually knowing what you're talking about is a foreign concept to you. You'll come around when you're old enough to know better.
England rules- October 30, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Hey Nobama
Yes Bama!!
Just because you still wanna run around with a sheet over your head and rolla round in pig s**t all your life.. "Let go of your hate i feel the good in you"
And yes the English Economy has moved into S**t street
Right next door to the UFC 10K Runner Anderson "big box, little box hands" Silva!
OOps Sorry Dana but Mr Pound For Pound was Pants!
Nobama- October 30, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Apparently "England is the best" (oxymoron) hasn't taken a look at the "euro-economy" recently either. Lol.
England is the best- October 30, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Talking of f**king things up hows the US Economy at the moment??
Let Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have a look at that for you
After all they did the business finding Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq!
Hey Stankie i'm sorry for taking a pop at you dude you really are a great advert
for Street bums and old Drunks every where....
10pound- October 30, 2008 at 12:46 pm
STANK MASTAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fully.- October 30, 2008 at 12:37 pm
The part about Stankie talking to himself while working the speed bag made me actually lol.

Man this guy is awesome.
Jay Smith- October 30, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Nice shank Jugger! Stankie kind of reminds me of Rocky's trainer Mickey.

These England mufuckas always gotta fuck somethin up don't they.......
England is the best- October 30, 2008 at 11:43 am
We've got loads of Stankie's over here and there all homeless eating in soup kitchens!!!
WhyisntStankieablogger- October 30, 2008 at 11:32 am
This crazy sunova bitch needs to be a blogger for CP. GET IT DONE GENTS. Also anyone married to a chick named Ponchita is alright in my book. Imagine:

Stankie: I'm gonna love you all night long Ponchita.
Ponchita: Ohhh Stanke, you know how I like it.

Also her married name is Ponchita Sankiewicz. How fucking funny is that?
Maud- October 30, 2008 at 5:37 am
lmfao... Stankie -400 Efrain +250
James- October 30, 2008 at 4:24 am
wow great link thats so funny its andy stankiewicz's dad...i remember his stint with the yanks! he would swing at anything and had an unmistakable charisma! just like his dad!
yes!- October 30, 2008 at 2:13 am
i totally agree that the rules should be/are different for old ppl including the one regarding driving a car.
Jugger- October 30, 2008 at 2:09 am
Ah, you say "the rules are different for old people," but I don't see you cutting Randy any slack.