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‘Most Significant Fight Card in the History of MMA…’

EliteXC sent out a press release yesterday announcing that tickets to their February 16th event featuring Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott will go on sale this Friday at Ticketmaster, and confirming that the event will take place at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami. Check the first sentence:

“Fans seeking to participate in perhaps the biggest, most significant fight card in the history of mixed martial arts in Florida will have the opportunity to reserve their spots beginning this Friday, Jan. 11, when tickets to EliteXC’s tremendous mega-event on Saturday, Feb. 16, will go on sale.”

At first, I skipped over that “in Florida” part and nearly shot Scotch out of my nose. Upon re-reading, I was still unconvinced. Surely this sideshow won’t be bigger than the UFC’s record-breaking Ortiz/Shamrock III event, or UFC 42, which featured Matt Hughes‘s five-round war with Sean Sherk. Personally, I don’t think it’ll even be as significant as those smoker matches Din Thomas was arrested for last year — I mean, Din kinda became our Rosa Parks after that one. I love fight-hype as much as the next guy, but to paraphrase John Lennon, if you start referring to Slice/Abbott as a “tremendous mega-event,” you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

I’ve ranted before about how unfortunate of a move this fight is for Kevin Ferguson and EliteXC, so I’ll spare you this time. Instead, I’ll post this bizarre video of Tank Abbott drunkenly mouthing off to a guy wearing a Kimbo Slice mask (at a bar? in his basement?), which looks to be directed by David Lynch and shot with the same camera used to record Rick Salomon banging Paris Hilton.

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Anonymous- March 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm
haha yah he is a queer....kimbo is cool but my brother is better( Chirs "the redbull" Willems)
G Dawg- January 10, 2008 at 5:32 pm
That Damian guy is queer. Kimbo Rules!!! I saw him punch I guy so hard his eye popped out. FTW!
TitoG- January 10, 2008 at 3:45 am
What the fuck did I just watch? Tank has got some weird ass random friends.
derek- January 10, 2008 at 1:05 am
hahaha, when i went to ufc 76, i was in the parking lot, leaving and i heard someone so unbelievably drunk, talking random , loud shit. and i look over and its tank abbott, sitting backward in the front seat of a van.....funniest shit ever
Damian- January 9, 2008 at 9:56 pm
That video is retarded! I honestly don't care for either of them. Maybe they will both catch each other with big mongoloid hay-makers at the same time and put each other in a comas. If I have to cheer one on I pick Tank. He is the original a-hole angry brawler, and Kimbo is just an f'ing hood rat.
crookshark- January 9, 2008 at 8:44 pm
you know, i sincerely won't mind watching tank get his face beat in. he's such a dick. the best we can hope for is kimbo ending tanks career. that would be a blessing to us all.