EliteXC sent out a press release yesterday announcing that tickets to their February 16th event featuring Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott will go on sale this Friday at Ticketmaster, and confirming that the event will take place at the BankUnited Center at the University of Miami. Check the first sentence:

“Fans seeking to participate in perhaps the biggest, most significant fight card in the history of mixed martial arts in Florida will have the opportunity to reserve their spots beginning this Friday, Jan. 11, when tickets to EliteXC’s tremendous mega-event on Saturday, Feb. 16, will go on sale.”

At first, I skipped over that “in Florida” part and nearly shot Scotch out of my nose. Upon re-reading, I was still unconvinced. Surely this sideshow won’t be bigger than the UFC’s record-breaking Ortiz/Shamrock III event, or UFC 42, which featured Matt Hughes‘s five-round war with Sean Sherk. Personally, I don’t think it’ll even be as significant as those smoker matches Din Thomas was arrested for last year — I mean, Din kinda became our Rosa Parks after that one. I love fight-hype as much as the next guy, but to paraphrase John Lennon, if you start referring to Slice/Abbott as a “tremendous mega-event,” you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

I’ve ranted before about how unfortunate of a move this fight is for Kevin Ferguson and EliteXC, so I’ll spare you this time. Instead, I’ll post this bizarre video of Tank Abbott drunkenly mouthing off to a guy wearing a Kimbo Slice mask (at a bar? in his basement?), which looks to be directed by David Lynch and shot with the same camera used to record Rick Salomon banging Paris Hilton.