MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

*Updated* Mulletted UFC Meme Harold Howard Sentenced to Five Years in Prison

(Narcissism: the leading cause of MMA fighter arrests in North America)

Instead of a fight, the next time Harold Howard utters his well known "If you’re coming on, come on!" catchphrase, his words will likely be followed by prison sex and obligatory spooning with his cellmate “Shanky” Dave.

The cartwheel-kicking former UFC underachiever and my Canadian homeboy, who was the first fighter to ever defeat Royce Gracie (Okay, fine, the win over Royce was by forfeiture, but it was still real to me, damn it!) was 
sentenced today to just south of five years in jail for his pre-Christmas family festivities last year that saw him attack two relatives with a claw hammer before crashing his pick-up truck through the front doors of a Niagara Falls casino.


Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been involved in many a spirited and spirit-fueled debate with members of my family over the holidays, and I may have at times had the urge to grab an implement out of my tool box to drive home the points that didn’t seem to be getting through to my relatives, but the difference between thinking about it and actually doing it says a lot about the 
mental state Howard must have been in at the time.

Here’s a retelling of the incident from The Niagara Falls Review:

"Hill said Howard had been staying at his sister’s home on Muir Ave. His nephew was getting milk out of the refrigerator when Howard suddenly attacked him with a hammer, striking him five or six times with the claw end of the weapon. The nephew required 21 stitches to close the gash on his head and six stitches to close a wound on his hand.

Howard’s sister entered the room after her son screamed and she was struck with the hammer and fell to the ground. She suffered a broken finger, a gash to the right eye and cuts. She required four stitches.

The nephew struck Howard with a chair, which ended the attack. Howard then drove to a house on Carmen St., where his estranged spouse and son lived, and struck her vehicle that was parked in the driveway, causing about $3,000 damage. He then approached the front door and tried to gain entry and yelled: ‘You ruined my life.’

Police were called and located Howard driving his pickup truck, but he failed to stop. A pursuit followed reaching speeds of 110 km/h in a 50 km/h zone.

When Howard approached Niagara Fallsview Casino and Resort, he crashed his pickup truck through the glass front doors and it glanced off the fountain in the lobby, coming to rest against a pole."

Never one to make excuses for himself or to let anyone else fight his battles, the 52-year-old karate and Japanese jiu-jitsu black belt and instructor, who has spent the better part of the past two decades teaching the next generation of UFC hopefuls how to “Come on!”  at his Niagara Falls martial arts studio, represented himself in court Friday. Howard pled guilty to six charges (aggravated assault, assault causing bodily harm, dangerous driving, failing to remain at the scene of an accident, mischief and breach of a court order) which was a vast reduction from the original tally of 25 that included two charges of attempted murder.
 
Addressing the court one last time before sentencing, Howard made a couple interesting requests, including one for the hammer that started the whole ball rolling:
"After assuring the court that "these actions are not [his] normal behaviour," Howard asked if his sentence could be served in a facility out west, explaining that he had no future in the Niagara region. He also wanted to know if someone could retrieve some belongings and tools from his former residences."
In my mind, that’s not how I saw his speech going down at all. I pictured Howard snapping his head to face the judge, while tearing off his wraparound shades and muttering one of his prophetic post-fight gems, like: "Well, I told you, if it worked, it worked and it didn’t, I didn’t. "So in the end, it didn’t," before  getting into his karate stance and going out in a blaze of glory.

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El Guapo- April 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm
(Sigh)Damn I miss the early UFC's. Only a few times a year so cards were stacked, lil dude was moppin up, guys fighting in wifebeaters..

Sorry, Canada, but Harold Howard's from West Virginia. Mullet and the beater are a dead giveaway.
Robocop Didnt Tap- April 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm
fiveforfive is right. It's too soon to be switching from trusty Times New Roman to this upity Arial. Ben's body isn't even cold and your already moving onto next week's flavor of the week. :(
robthom- April 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Teaching UFC hopefuls how to "come on" was funny.
Homoplata- April 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
that was a bit of a tough read. YOU MUST BE THE NEW GUY!
whitey- April 17, 2010 at 10:50 am
lol @ Shatski and the photoshop
whitey- April 17, 2010 at 10:48 am
poll worked for me. here are results as of 1ish central time

Olieng P.
21%
Snakefinger
12%
Dooz
3%
Brion S.
2%
PauloThiagoSilva
9%
Ansari
11%
Nipmoua
5%
Eric M.
1%
Vincent D.
7%
Nicolo T.
3%
tikibot
3%
Nicole B.
8%
John T.
1%
Strung56
6%
Steve W.
6%
Total votes: 854
rangerrexxx- April 17, 2010 at 6:54 am
He got off easy! Should have received LIFE! What a douche...
Cosmin- April 17, 2010 at 6:36 am
I'm sure shit like this does wonders for getting MMA regulated in Ontario :/
jimbonics- April 17, 2010 at 6:18 am
The fate of all nut-punchers...
Horror Fighter- April 17, 2010 at 5:54 am
See? This is what free healthcare leads to.

Did Dana buy him a new car too?
robthom- April 17, 2010 at 3:46 am
Lol @ the photoshop.

Nice.
fightfan- April 17, 2010 at 12:50 am
That photoshop is awesome!!!
Shatski- April 16, 2010 at 11:37 pm
See? Canadians DO have Christmas!
Komodo- April 16, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Yup. Tried to vote on the poll a few hours ago and got the infamous validation error again. Got it just now too.

The Toyo chop made me laugh though.
shitbag- April 16, 2010 at 10:06 pm
@fiveforfive uh...I don't think they'll ever be able to get that smell out...
shitbag- April 16, 2010 at 10:03 pm
God Damn It! SuckmyShinya is right, that fucking poll still doesn't work. BF is barely even gone and already this place is falling apart! Jesus christ on a stick! Here I am trying to give the Fedor poster its win, but nooooooooooooooo, CP has to take a big crap!
fiveforfive- April 16, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Woah Woah woah wowowowwooah here. BF's odor is still fresh in his computer chair and the potato has already switched fonts??!!???
SuckMyShinya- April 16, 2010 at 9:47 pm
Yeah that poll for the poster still doesnt work...
punchguyinface- April 16, 2010 at 9:45 pm
A class act all the way... it really gives the young Warmachines something to aspire to.
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