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My God, Spike TV’s “Gym Rescue” Looks F*cking Atrocious


(Jon Taffer did it so, so much better.)

You could probably guess that Spike TV’s upcoming gym rescue series (I believe it’s called, uh, Gym Rescue) starring Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock would not fall into the category of what we call “compelling television.” It’s a reality show, for starters, and one starring former MMA fighters that is attempting to piggyback off the success of Bar Rescue, another Spike TV reality show that is itself a ripoff of shows like Restaurant Impossible and countless others (all due respect to Jon Taffer, #buttfunnel).

What you might not have guessed, however, was that Gym Rescue would be an absolute dumpster fire of epic proportions and quite possibly the nadir of television programming as we know it. Don’t believe me? Check out the sneak peak of Gym Rescue that awaits you after the jump and tell me I’m wrong. Keep in mind that the footage you are about to witness is what the makers of Gym Rescue thought might entice on-the-fence viewers into watching their show, not B-roll that should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Fucking wow. 

Seriously? That’s the best you got, Spike? A guy angrily throwing his glasses, some footage of an exposed piece of metal, and the most delicate, noncommittal shove in reality show history? Jesus, the Real Housewives of Whore Avenue have more balls than you.

This show is going to be a train wreck, but you bet your ass I will be liveblogging Gym Rescue‘s premiere on August 10th.

-J. Jones

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