Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?


By Diego Sanchez*

…TO BE CLEANSED BY THE HOLY FLAME OF OUR LORD ALMIGHTY. For I, “The Dream,” am his vessel, the grail from which his vengeance is spilled unto the meek, uncultivated swine of this forsaken planet. Yes! Yeessssssss!!

I AM A SAVAGE. A savage who has returned to the 155 pound division to prove to the world that it is physically possible to love something to death. My enthusiasm is a river which shall break the levy of your insolence.

What must I do to draw your attention, Nate? I called you out when I announced my return to lightweight, and just yesterday, I even resorted to your species’ archaic, Godless device of social communication to further needle you. Yet still you do not respond. Is it because you KNOW and FEAR that which is “The Dream?” That whose spirit can not be broken? CONFESS AND YOU SHALL BE SAVED. YESS!!

Forget your upcoming fight with Mr. Maynard, for we both know that your heart is not invested in that little escapade. Your heart will have no such option when we tangle, for I will expose it from your chest, hold it betwixt my fingers and show you His light. And in that fragile, fleeting moment, you will thank me. You will say, “I am grateful for your friendship, Diego. God bless you.” You will SURRENDER to my influence and join the army of DREAMERS I have amassed over the years!! YES!

I have literally been running up and down flights of stairs since Saturday’s decision. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? Complaining about the sounds your opponents make when they’re kicking your ass? Rest assured that the only sounds you will hear when we dance the sacred dance will be that of your spine imploding in my grasp as I channel the fury of A THOUSAND SUNS. For I may be The Dream now, but I WILL ALWAYS BE A NIGHTMARE WHEN THE CAGE LOCKS. YES! YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Editor’s note: This post may or may not have been written by Diego Sanchez himself. In fact, it may have been written by a certain CagePotato staff writer under the influence of sherm sticks. We’re not naming names. But we like to think it captures the *spirit* of Diego Sanchez.

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masterbaitntackle- October 23, 2013 at 10:36 pm
What's wrong with sherm sticks?