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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Never Surrender: The Eight Greatest Technical Submissions of All Time

It takes a special kind of cojones to stare down permanent injury and say “Eff it, I ain’t tappin’.” Inspired by the DVD we’ve been plugging lately, we decided to pay tribute to the technical submission — that thrilling moment when a fighter is caught in a health-threatening submission hold, but is too stupid much of a warrior to concede defeat, so the referee has to do it for him. Because as a wise man once said, “Tapping out is for bitches.” Enjoy…

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#8: Daniel Gracie vs. Wes Sims
IFL Championships 2006, 6/3/06

After their first chaotic mess of a bout was ruled a “Technical Draw,” Gracie and Sims met again in the IFL for another technical ending.  Though Sims has always had a hazy understanding of the rules in any given MMA bout, he got taken down too quickly to launch any illegal stomps in this one, and had to settle for giving up his back and then trying to grab on to the ropes (thankfully Stephen Quadros reminds him that he can’t do that) as Gracie stayed on him like a backpack and choked him unconscious.  There’s nothing quite like seeing a 6’10” guy drop to the canvas like somebody just pulled his plug.  Sleep well, buddy.

#7. Frank Shamrock vs. Phil Baroni
Strikeforce/EliteXC: Shamrock vs. Baroni, 6/22/07

(Choke starts at the 8:35 mark.)

Thanks to Shammy’s pioneering work in video trash talk, this fight was epic before it even began. Strikeforce’s first middleweight title fight paired two loud-mouthed badasses who would never admit defeat — but unfortunately, there could be only one champion. After battering the NYBA with punches for almost two full rounds, Shamrock took Baroni’s back, wrapped an arm around his neck, and squeezed. While most men would tap to the hold, Baroni went out like a warrior, throwing punches into Frank’s mug until he lost consciousness. Shamrock celebrated his win by shoving Baroni’s lifeless body then kicking him in the ass, proving that he wasn’t just the better fighter that night, he was also the bigger asshole.

#6: Marcus Aurelio vs. Takanori Gomi
Pride: Bushido 10, 4/2/06

Gomi was riding an impressive ten-fight win streak in Pride when he came up against American Top Team’s Marcus Aurelio.  Gomi had just beaten Hayato “Mach” Sakurai in the 2005 lightweight Grand Prix, and seemed to be near unstoppable.  That is, until Aurelio got him on his back.  Aurelio passed his guard without much trouble and locked up an arm triangle.  Though Gomi’s hand seemed to want to tap, his spirit wouldn’t allow it.  Instead his arm fell limply to the canvas, forcing the Pride ref to try the old pro wrestling resistance test before concluding that “The Fireball Kid” was really out.  For weird reasons that only made sense in Pride, this wasn’t a title bout.  Gomi not only woke up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day, he also woke up still the champ.  How often does that happen?

#5: Demian Maia vs. Ed Herman
UFC 83, 4/19/08

(Photo via Getty.)

Did you know there was a time when not everyone in the UFC was aware of what a jiu-jitsu badass Demian Maia is?  It’s true, but his complete domination of Ed Herman helped educate the masses right quick.  Herman was coming off three straight wins, including a knockout of Joe Doerksen and a submission victory over Scott Smith, but he soon discovered it was a bad idea to be on the ground with Maia.  Herman spent most of the first round trying, without success, to stay on his feet.  After narrowly avoiding a few submissions, Herman powered his way right into a triangle choke in the second round.  When he wouldn’t tap, Maia flipped him over and pounded on him a little while waiting for him to give up or lose consciousness.  Herman chose the latter, though it was all the same to Maia.

#4. Dan Miller vs. Dave Phillips
IFL 2007 Semifinals, 8/2/07

Brutal Choke Out – Watch more Funny Videos
Don’t worry, Dave Phillips’s head didn’t actually snap off his neck — it just looks that way. Described by IFL commentator Bas Rutten as the tightest guillotine choke he’d ever seen, Dan Miller put himself on the MMA map with this gruesome first-round submission in his IFL debut for the New York Pitbulls. Personally, I would have given up as soon as I realized that my head was upside-down, but Phillips does his best to hang on until it’s blackout-time. I guess you could call that a moral victory.

#3: Steve Cantwell vs. Razak Al-Hassan
UFC Fight For The Troops, 12/10/08

Right away something about this fight seemed strange.  The last WEC light heavyweight champ, Cantwell made his UFC debut at the benefit show for injured U.S. troops against newcomer Razak Al-Hassan, who may or may not have been chosen because he had a foreign-sounding name (despite fighting out of Iowa).  Al-Hassan began the fight by walking straight into Cantwell’s punches with his chin held high, further suggesting that maybe he wasn’t quite ready for the UFC, but was ready to spot incoming aircraft.

After stinging him with a few good shots, Cantwell got him down, passed his guard and mounted him, then locked in a tight armbar.  Apparently nobody bothered to tell Al-Hassan that he could tap out if he was in trouble, because he never seemed to consider it.  Instead he let Cantwell crank his arm until it made everyone feel a little sick just to look at it.  Afterwards Cantwell was a little too excited about injuring another human being, saying he’d “been waiting so long to do that.”  Let’s dial it down a notch, Steve.

#2. Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Renzo Gracie
PRIDE 10, 8/27/00

Gracies don’t tap — especially not to the armlock that has haunted their family for decades. Kazushi Sakuraba had already beaten Royler and Royce Gracie in PRIDE matches, picking up the nickname “Gracie Hunter,” before his classic fight with their cousin Renzo. In the closing seconds of the battle, Sakuraba latched a standing ude-garami onto Renzo’s left arm. The ude-garami, of course, has been commonly known as the “kimura” ever since Masahiko Kimura used it to defeat Helio Gracie in 1955 (Helio didn’t tap, by the way), and coincidentally, Sakuraba used the lock to score a technical submission over Helio’s son Royler the year before he faced Renzo (Royler also didn’t tap).

Anyway, Renzo’s elbow snapped as Sakuraba pulled him to the ground, and as Kazushi continued to extend the lock, the break became ghoulishly visible. In true Gracie fashion, Renzo refused to surrender. The referee stopped the match, and an unaffected-looking Renzo got up, put his arm in a sling, took the mic, and made a congratulatory speech to his opponent. Renzo later called out his refusal to tap during the fight as his greatest achievement in mixed martial arts. What the hell is wrong with these people, anyway?

#1. Frank Mir vs. Tim Sylvia
UFC 48, 6/19/04

It remains the most famous bone-breakage in UFC history — and the Maine-iac still wanted to fight through it. Less than a minute into the heavyweight title match at “Payback”, stripped ex-champion Tim Sylvia slammed rising hotshot Frank Mir onto his back, where Frank immediately snatched one of Timmy’s meathooks in an armbar. He cranked it until Sylvia’s forearm visibly snapped, but Tim wasn’t ready to give up so easily. In fact, the fight might have had a completely different outcome if Herb Dean hadn’t stopped the fight in horror.

Though Sylvia claimed he was okay to continue, an x-ray performed later that night showed that his radius bone was indeed broken. Mir’s legendary technical submission over Sylvia earned him the UFC heavyweight strap (and a BJJ black belt from Ricardo Pires), and cemented his rep as a terror on the ground, while Tim gained some grudging respect as a tough son-of-a-bitch who wouldn’t quit over something as insignificant as a destroyed limb.

Did we forget any good ones? Let us know in the comments section…

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JB- April 29, 2009 at 8:40 pm
whatever happened to the tim sylvia that wouldnt tap to mir's armbar? he's become a tapping machine since then.
TUF guy = fagget- April 29, 2009 at 6:51 pm
tuf guy your a pussy ass bitch i'll just shoot your ass
dana white- April 29, 2009 at 3:48 pm
tuf guy, like mrs. loretta hunt, is a pussy and a fucking faggot!
PaddyCakes- April 29, 2009 at 11:03 am
I would have put Demian Maia’s triangle on Chael Sonnen in place over the Herman one...the trip takedown right into a triangle was beautiful!!
Mike Murder- April 29, 2009 at 8:46 am
War Tuf Guy
Armfarmer- April 29, 2009 at 8:35 am
All of you who don't know what the fuck a technical submission is.. and are too stupid to figure it out after watching 10 videos of people NOT TAPPING.. please refrain from berating others as if they have no knowledge of the sport.. and shut the fuck up because you are a retard. I mean even if you don't know what a technical submission is couldn't you figure it out from the videos?? Dumbasses...
Anonymous- April 29, 2009 at 7:29 am
How come no mention of the fight with Gina Carano where she made her opponent pass out cold by smothering her with her huge Tits.
Anonymous- April 29, 2009 at 6:15 am
What is this bullshit site deleting comments now.
Anonymous- April 29, 2009 at 12:41 am
Nice.. good work..
Anonymous- April 28, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Id like to see you come to my gym pal. I dont make comments on here but i garuntee i could fuck you up. Come to Jeremy Horns Elite performance in SLC and see what real fighters look like.
BeesKnees- April 28, 2009 at 11:49 am
Agreed Kimmons owned him
Nick Diaz's nutsack- April 28, 2009 at 11:45 am
it's hot in here homie!!!
Anonymous- April 28, 2009 at 10:46 am
Joe Vedepo vs Rob Kimmons should be in there, if Joe Rogan called it one of the deepest guillotines it's got to be good
FreedomFries86- April 28, 2009 at 10:09 am
I WANT TO SMOKE DMT WITH JOE ROGAN!!
Yoko Brown- April 28, 2009 at 9:57 am
Really? hard to believe.i heard this news times from many friends playing on a tall dating site:" Tallmingle . c o m ",i did not believe, i think that they are know nothing but dating and love.
i am wrong.



Craig O- April 28, 2009 at 9:53 am
I dont care what ANY1 SAYS ABOUT THE GRACIES. they are fucking crazy bad asses, tapping is for pussies son!!!



"""Renzo later called out his refusal to tap during the fight as his greatest achievement in mixed martial arts. What the hell is wrong with these people, anyway?""""
Levi- April 28, 2009 at 9:48 am
No mention of Enson Inoue?! How is that possible?

1. Enson vs. Vovchanchyn: Enson gets his head smashed by one of the hardest punchers in PRIDE history for several minutes. He refuses to tap to the damage and as the round comes to an end, he is completely unable to return to his corner. He stays in the hospital for four months with brain-swelling and a broken jaw.

2. Enson vs. Big Nog: After spending a minute or so trying to get Enson to tap to an omoplata/shoulder lock, Big Nog transitions to a triangle and promptly sends Enson off to the dream world.

There's tough and then there's Enson.
Dangada Dang- April 28, 2009 at 9:45 am
You guys really make the case that only property owners should be allowed to vote
mmmiles thinks he is smart, but he is just as retarded as an- April 28, 2009 at 9:16 am
Hey moron, Silva vs. Chonan happened in '04! listen to your own statements and "Be a good sheep and stick to just reading the site if you dont know what the fuck you're talking about."
mmmiles- April 28, 2009 at 9:10 am
Anonymous Says:
Tue, 04/28/2009 - 07:57
Amazing how all of the best submissions in MMA history, with the exception of two, came in the last two years.

Way to do your homework. This could very well be the worst MMA list of all time, and there have been some really awful ones. Congrats! The fact that Chonan vs Silva was left off makes it all the funnier. DIPSHITS!

Save the lists for somebody that's watched more than a year's worth of MMA.


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Hey moron, this is a list of the best technical submissions. Silva got tapped like a catholic schoolgirl vs Chonan - that's a submission, not a technical submission. Also that fight happened less than two years ago. L2 MMA/Post/Read, or better yet keep your mouth shut and your fingers off the keyboard.

Be good sheep and stick to just reading the site if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Killer Donut- April 28, 2009 at 8:59 am
How about Jason von Flue vs. Alex Karalexis?
I <3 TUF GUY- April 28, 2009 at 8:54 am
I think its pretty funny! You stupid fucks think this guy is serious? He is fucking around and I think its humorous...

Just like the guy who is fucking with CAPSLOCK HAL by using his name and making him seem retardedly, disgustingly gay! I think its hilarious! This is an entertainment site with commentary dumbasses
Geerad- April 28, 2009 at 8:30 am
As a general rule I can't stand Matt Hughes, but there's no denying that the arm-bar he sunk in on GSP in their first altercation was set up beautifully.
Nick's mom- April 28, 2009 at 8:02 am
word fucking up, Diaz Gomi for teh win
TUF GUY?????- April 28, 2009 at 8:00 am
@Anonymous
Jack ass Anderson tapped out it wasnt a technical submission.
Maybe you should do some homework before you post??? Just an idea.
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