(Sometimes Wanderlei uses Lil’ Wanderlei to say things he can’t, such as ‘I’m sorry,’ and ‘I love you,’ and ‘What’s this catchweight shit about?’)

UFC.com today officially announced Rich Franklin/Wanderlei Silva as the main event for UFC 99 in Cologne, Germany on UFC 99, which has been dubbed “The Comeback.”  Yes, they already used that one for a season of “The Ultimate Fighter,” but so what?  It’s Germany.  They’re too busy screwing around with soccer and modernist architecture to know what’s happening on American TV.

As previously rumored, the bout will take place at a catchweight of 195 pounds, which is kind of odd since both Franklin and Silva last fought at 205 pounds.  But it only seems to make no sense because you haven’t heard Dana White’s explanation yet:

“Everyone knows Rich moved up to light heavyweight a couple of fights ago while Wanderlei is planning on fighting at 185lbs from now on, but this fight is too exciting a match not to happen and both these guys deserve a ton of credit for taking this fight at 195lbs.”

See?  Makes perfect sense now.  The whole thing is going down at the Lanxess Arena and tickets go on sale next week, “priced at 250 Euro, 150 Euro, 85 Euro, 70 Euro, 55 Euro and 45 Euro.”  To figure out what that is in American dollars just multiply by 1.2596. Then think about how you don’t have any American dollars, or a job, or a house.  Then cry.

But no, have fun Germans.  We’ll just be over here, wallowing in self-pity.