(You can thank The Garv for this absolutely necessary photoshop.)
Thanks to reader Kadumel for pointing us to this article in the L.A. Times, in which Nick Diaz reaches new levels of stupidity by telling a reporter exactly how he will beat the California State Athletic Commission’s drug screening process when he fights Frank Shamrock this weekend:
"I’m happy to get loaded, hear some good music . . . I remain consistent. And I have an easy way to deal with [the drug tests]. I can pass a drug test in eight days with herbal cleansers. I drink 10 pounds of water and sweat out 10 pounds of water every day. I’ll be fine."
Goddammit, Nick. You are fighting in the main event of a card on Showtime. You are not applying for a job at Hot Topic. You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!? Have you learned nothing?
It’s not that I care that Diaz smokes weed. I just care that he’s dumb enough to tell a reporter exactly how he’s going to cheat the system. Does he think the guys from the CSAC don’t read the L.A. Times sports section?
If somehow they didn’t already have Diaz in their drug-testing sights, they sure as hell do now that he’s put them on the spot. He has basically dared them to catch him. If his drug test comes back clean, it will be as if the CSAC has admitted that their drug screening process can be defrauded.
Frank Shamrock is quoted in the article saying that he doesn’t care for what Diaz’s blatant drug use does for the image of the sport, but calls his honesty about it “refreshing.”
That’s one way of putting it. Utterly stupid is another way. It’s like explaining to the IRS how you plan to cheat on your taxes. It doesn’t matter that you’re doing it because you feel income tax is unconstitutional. It only matters that you have, for no good reason, increased your chances of getting caught. But what should we expect at this point? As we already know, Nick Diaz is not a fucking scientist. To the list of things he’s not, we can go ahead and add "smart."
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Comments
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:40
Hahha, nick being nick
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:40
FIRST !!
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:42
ive got friends who use those cleansers to pass drug tests on the oil rigs... apparently they work great WAR DIAZ
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:42
Herbal cleansers, meaning that "green tea" that Nate brought back from Tijuana. The sweaty man he bought it from guaranteed it works. It cleans out your system, and it gets you high as FUCK.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:42
Don't worry. He'll mean mug another CSAC commissioner into forced retirement before he serves out another suspension.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:44
whaT A IDIOT
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:46
If I dipped my testicles in weed butter, would nick diaz lick them?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:48
hahah nick diaz is awesome
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:56
LM-MF-AO You got to love Nick Diaz. The guy is one in a million. And, unlike the "Junie Brownings" of the world...he can at least fight. He's a damn good fighter and athlete. But, he is frickin' hysterical. His honesty and how genuine he is, it's just priceless. This guy needs his own show.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:58
I bet Gomi saw his eye's in the 1st rd and thought "pfft, im gonna beat the piss outta this stoner." Next thing you know, Gomi couldnt breath! Be careful Frank.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 10:59
hahaha. diaz is an idiot.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:01
I don't see the fascination in this kid.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:01
Funny.... this is how I passed all those probation tests that I had to take back in HS.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:03
I agree he's an idiot for disclosing that he can still outsmoke Snoop Dogg on any given day, but it's not exactly like he's applying to become a police officer. Then again if he was trying to run for president...
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:09
Fuck it. I love this guy.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:16
Herbal Cleansers don't work if they take a hair sample test. Your move CSAC
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:17
seriously he is hilarious how can you hate him
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:20
Perfect for the Sham - 4 possibilities here for him, all made better by ditzy Diaz. 1. He loses, Diaz tests negative - the win is under a (proverbial) cloud of suspicion 2. He loses, Diaz tests positive - his loss is a NC 3. He wins, Dias tests negative - He won against a 'clean' Nick Diaz 4. He wins, Dias tests positive - he managed to beat a doped up drug fiend
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:21
Damn it Nick, don't make me like you. Does anyone know if the CSAC is completely ignorant of hair samples?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:29
Kadumel you are getting insane Ben(s) love these days son!!! Nick Diaz rules.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:35
You're a retard
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:35
"You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!? Have you learned nothing?" That was rhetorical right?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:36
Nice way to blow up your own spot Nick.... now you know the CSAC is going to be looking for your test, if they were not already. As for hair tests... I think they cost way to much money and take to long to come back, while urine tests are very fast to come back and very cheep, which also makes them the easiest to get over on.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:39
Why does the CSAC even test for weed? It's not performance enhancing in any way. Whatever. I'm sure his next move will be to video himself rolling the phattest spliff the world has ever seen, spark it in the middle of a police station, and let them all know that they'll never catch him because he's just too damn gangsta. Then he'll flip them off. Best of luck Nicky
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:42
I hope some NORML guy can convince Nick to get a doctor's note for his weed. "Its medecine man, fuck you and the man and his rules, man!!" If its not performance enhancing, stop testing for the shit... and if the CSAC still gives BS about 'safety' ask them if they would rather smoke a J or get muay thai kneed in the face because no weed in the world give a buzz like a knee to the face. Pure indica.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:43
its the water and sweat thing that works, not so much the cleansers. THC stores in your fat cells so the easiest way to get it out of your body is to Sweat... ive Taken a clean UA 1 1/2 days after ive smoked...he knows what he's doing.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:52
he does have a prescription in california, Pierre.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:52
My favorite fighter in the world...Nick Diaz.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 11:58
I hate that Nick refuses to stop toking even though POT is what overturned the best fight of his career.. and people say you can't get addicted to marijuana.. if you continually smoke, KNOWING that it could nullify all that you've worked for if you get caught, you've got some sort of a problem.. the only thing i can't figure out is.. Is the 'high' Nick Diaz the one that whoops ass, and the "marijuana-deprived" Nick Diaz that gets beat up? or vice versa? I just can't figure him out.. he can look amazing in one fight, and get the shit kicked out of him the next.. yet he still wins almost all of his fights.. crazy..
Thu, 04/09/09 - 12:03
The thing I don't understand is , why do all of the stoners I know always get caught at least once. I mean.. if they know how to cheat the test, why do they always get caught at least part of the time. Is smoking really worth losing money or a career over?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 12:05
I've given up on Diaz. This guy is such a fucking jack ass. This is why he cant fight in the UFC. Shieeet I love to smoke weed too but god damn dude, get paid first then enjoy your after fight activities.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 12:23
smoking weed should not be illegal and it should not be tested for in sports... how is it possibly gonna enhance his physical performance?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 12:41
thats my dogg,and u konw this mannnnnnn!!
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:00
There is nothing dumb about what Diaz said. It doesn't matter that he has drawn the attention of the CSAC; we can all safely assume he already had their attention due to past incidents. The fact is that the CSAC can't go at Diaz any "harder" based on this information. The reason is that like any regulatory entity, the CSAC is bound to follow its own testing protocol. It is not allowed to investigate any further than its written testing procedures allow. Moreover, CSAC is required to publish its testing protocol. So if Diaz figures out how to beat the test, Diaz wins, and he can talk about it all he wants. It doesn't matter if a hair test would catch him unless the testing protocol includes a hair test. And if it does not, the CSAC can't just add it on Thursday for a fight in Saturday. There is a process to revising regulations, typically involving public hearings and comment. It doesn't happen overnight. All they can do is test him. If he passes, he passes. It's not as though they can decide to hook him up to a polygraph. The only way Diaz can really screw himself is if the CSAC, in addition to testing, requires each fighter to make a sworn statement that he has not used a banned substance. If Diaz is asked to make such a statement, he would be setting himself for a criminal charge for making a false statement under oath. Aside from that, he's good. More fundamentally, God bless Nick Diaz for living his life as a free man. Yes, he's crazy. No question. But he also has an innate sense of the proper extent to which the state may infringe upon the rights of the individual that seems to be dead-on. I fully support his refusal to allow government bureaucracy to dictate his personal choices. I don't want to overstate the matter, but it was guys like Nick Diaz that dumped the tea into the harbor.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:14
Thank you, Ted Nutmeg.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:24
Or... Or... What if Diaz is naturally clean right now, and he is just playing mind games with CSAC?! But what Are the chances of that...
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:28
We arent calling Diaz stupid for trying to pass a test with legal cleansers..were calling him stupid for taking the risk. I dont give a shit what you believe in.....that is fucking D-U-M-B. I cant wait for you to tell me how much of a smarty pants you think Diaz is when he fails another drug test like he did in Pride and UFC
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:28
Nick is a funny guy, does what he wants and lives his life the way he wants. Makes me want to smoke a bowl with him.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:35
Yea, nick knows what he does :-p he's a beast. I have grown to enjoy what he brings to the sport. I hope he breaks frank in half.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:52
mayhem is right, hair samples cost a lot, and they do take a few days to come back from the lab, but I have a funny feeling they'd spring for it if Diaz is just challenging them to catch him on a drug test. Personally, I don't smoke pot (jack daniel's is more fun) but agree that it should be legalized, but in the meantime, anyone else think the cops make a few extra trips down the Diaz's block this month...you know, just to check on stuff...
Thu, 04/09/09 - 01:53
Stockton Bitch!
Thu, 04/09/09 - 02:28
Don't smoke weed man the goverment don't want us too, Instead drink some ass juice(beer) and drive around run people over you do less jail time and become a instant hero to everyone. PS::: WEED IS NOT A DRUG YOU FUCKING INBRED PIECES OF SHIT!!
Thu, 04/09/09 - 02:36
I like how someone pointed out that in a sport where people are getting knee'd to the head, it seems like the governing bodies of that sport are worried about the fighters ruining their health by smoking some weed. That is pretty damn funny. Maybe its the example the fighters are setting for the kids that's the issue: We need to put octagons in public parks so neighborhood kids can knee each other in the head all day instead of smoking pot. But damn, then Nick Diaz has to go and ruin it by showing kids they can do both! Just a shining example of the thoughtless, knee-jerk, politically correct, zero tolerance, hypocritical thinking that this country excels at. I don't smoke weed but yeah, if I wanted to why should it be anyone's business? I think Employers ought to have to prove in court that weed smoking would be dangerous for a certain position before they are allowed to infringe on your privacy by asking if you smoke it or requiring you to take a drug test. I think anyone who knows stoners knows that the decreased reaction time and slower thought process outweigh any pain suppression advantage that might be claimed. So tell me again other than being able to say you are 'tough on drugs' by catching fighters doing something you and your closest family members have probably done countless times, what is the point of this testing for weed in MMA? Oh what's that? You are just going to stammer something about how I just don't get it and walk away mad? Of course you are. That's why people who make these type of rules can't stand to be argued with.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 02:59
all this talk makes me want a bonghit myself
Thu, 04/09/09 - 03:25
Keepin it real...Nick Diaz calls it like it is.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 03:57
IN bishes. WAR MOTHERFUKIN DIAZ!
Thu, 04/09/09 - 04:04
nick can blow dank all day. i don't give a shit. but stop announcing it to the people that want to fuck you over. that makes all of us intelligent and rational pot smokers look like retards, and in turn will fuck up or chances to ever get it legalized, or at least ignored by the commissions.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 04:16
I hope this moron gets caught. I hope the CSAC takes a hair sample and see all the THC in his body. What a fucking moron...a huge fight and Nick tells a newspaper in CA none the less that he can easily deceive the people testing him That would be like telling the judge in a criminal trial that you will find flaws in his court and will find a way to beat the guilty rap by cheating.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 04:20
So what happens if he gets caught again? Are they gonna throw the book at him once for pissing hot, then again for being an idiot? I don't care what he does in his personal time, but for him to announce it is just careless. Can't wait to see him mugging it up at the frostee machine in Wendy's some time soon
Thu, 04/09/09 - 04:53
DIDN'T READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE THING, BUT JUST SAW THE BEST PICTURE OF MY LIFE AND WANTED YA'LL TO KNOW
Thu, 04/09/09 - 05:45
I hope some NORML guy can convince Nick to get a doctor's note for his weed. "Its medecine man, fuck you and the man and his rules, man!!" They don't care if you have a prescription or not if it's on the athletic commission banned substance list then it's on the banned substance list. Ryan Jensen had a perfectly legal prescription for Adderall and his fight still got pulled for using it before a fight. Nick can smoke all he wants in his free time and I doubt CSAC would care he just can't have it in his system come fight time. I don't know why people think a prescription matters in this? Of course if Diaz can clear his system before the fight then he isn't cheating the system he is conforming to it, if he gets it totally out of his system then there is no way it's going to affect his peformance in the cage(positive or negative). If he's clean for the fight then he is clean for the fight and if he gets caught that's his own damn fault.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 05:51
let the man smoke
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:00
shamrock's going humiliate this diaz character. In front of the WORLD.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:12
In regards to, "You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!? Have you learned nothing?" I don't think he really gives a shit. And I give him a golf clap for being honest and doing what he want's to do regardless.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:14
well nick thats a pretty "blunt" statement
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:18
but in all seriousness, whats the big deal if the guy can smoke a bunch of weed and then fight? the guy has done pretty decent this far, why ridicule him? atleast he's not drinking his own piss. (no hard feelings machida, love ya bro)
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:35
If he passed the drug test, then can you say that he's cheated the system? I don't think so. The test itself will be evidence enough that the weed didn't have an effect on his performance. @Anonymous who said that weed wouldn't help a fighter: I disagree. In a sport where training is intense and the performing at Nick's level is intimidating to say the least, anything that can help a fighter manage his or her nerves may well give them the edge in a fight. But Diaz is just a knucklehead. What reason does he have to have a prescription for pot? Anyone?
Thu, 04/09/09 - 06:46
I'm with Bas. Diaz should have gotten "extra credit" for beating Gomi high. that is NOT performance enhancing. punches hurt more. your body just wants to relax. if you're really high, your heart's already beating faster. shooting hoops high is ok, but not running, and damn sure not fighting. Nick should be studied by scientists. If he knows for sure he can beat the tests i back him, but telling this to a reporter was just not very smart
Thu, 04/09/09 - 08:01
To all the guys talking about hair testing. True it is not cost effective. But the real problem lies in the the fact they a rather open window of when the banned substance was taken. It is not some sort of exact science that can detect when the substance was taken, just that the substance was taken. Whereas with the traditional UA testing they have a definitive time line to work with for how long every schedule 4 or higher ranked drug has been in your system. Hair testing would have been a easy way for lets say Josh Barnett to have his legal team argue " Josh has a overgrown step cut CSAC guys. Sure he took the steroids. But that was a good 6 months before he put the spank on couture." So basically, the concern of the CSAC is to make sure the athlete is not under the influence of performance enhancing drugs during the fight. As far as what the guys are doing weeks after or months before is not their concern.
Thu, 04/09/09 - 08:21
im gonna smoke a blunt of purp with the diaz brothers one day
Thu, 04/09/09 - 09:33
CP: you win for your article. This is Ben at his finest.
Fri, 04/10/09 - 04:20
You retarded people really think he fights high? Who the fuck would be stupid enough to step into the octagon high. Your reflexes turn into shit and you wont be able to go as long either. He probably smokes postfight and stops smoking a couple of days before because you're always a little bit jammed the day after smoking.
Fri, 04/10/09 - 04:25
The thing is he needs to use cleansers because of the fact that weed can be seen weeks after in your urine (months after in your hair) and I doubt he'll go weeks without weed prefight nor after. But noway he even smokes the same day he's fighting. A lot and I mean a lot of MMA practitioners use weed as a way of relaxing the muscles after hard practice sessions and it is not uncommon at all.
Fri, 04/10/09 - 06:01
Nick is a fucking freedom fighter.
Fri, 04/10/09 - 10:53
Fuck fighting.....I am gonna go help Nick smoke all that lovely weed.
Fri, 04/10/09 - 11:18
nick diaz is my hero !!!!! an yes weed an totally worth it
Sat, 04/11/09 - 09:52
Nick Diaz DESTROYED Shamrock. he SMOKED him! ha!
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