(You can thank The Garv for this absolutely necessary photoshop.)
Thanks to reader Kadumel for pointing us to this article in the L.A. Times, in which Nick Diaz reaches new levels of stupidity by telling a reporter exactly how he will beat the California State Athletic Commission’s drug screening process when he fights Frank Shamrock this weekend:
"I’m happy to get loaded, hear some good music . . . I remain consistent. And I have an easy way to deal with [the drug tests]. I can pass a drug test in eight days with herbal cleansers. I drink 10 pounds of water and sweat out 10 pounds of water every day. I’ll be fine."
Goddammit, Nick. You are fighting in the main event of a card on Showtime. You are not applying for a job at Hot Topic. You’re relying on herbal cleansers to keep you from getting fined, suspended, and possibly having the result of your bout changed to a no contest…again!? Have you learned nothing?
It’s not that I care that Diaz smokes weed. I just care that he’s dumb enough to tell a reporter exactly how he’s going to cheat the system. Does he think the guys from the CSAC don’t read the L.A. Times sports section?
If somehow they didn’t already have Diaz in their drug-testing sights, they sure as hell do now that he’s put them on the spot. He has basically dared them to catch him. If his drug test comes back clean, it will be as if the CSAC has admitted that their drug screening process can be defrauded.
Frank Shamrock is quoted in the article saying that he doesn’t care for what Diaz’s blatant drug use does for the image of the sport, but calls his honesty about it “refreshing.”
That’s one way of putting it. Utterly stupid is another way. It’s like explaining to the IRS how you plan to cheat on your taxes. It doesn’t matter that you’re doing it because you feel income tax is unconstitutional. It only matters that you have, for no good reason, increased your chances of getting caught. But what should we expect at this point? As we already know, Nick Diaz is not a fucking scientist. To the list of things he’s not, we can go ahead and add "smart."