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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Nick Diaz’s Camp Gets Their Writing Hat On


(Nick’s just going to proofread this sucker before sending it out.)

Did Elite XC hold some kind of writing workshop for their fighters’ and their fighters’ camps recently? Maybe one with a special seminar on “Shit-talking statements and rebuttals”? Because suddenly it seems like everyone under the Elite XC banner is putting pen to paper to bash someone else. Not that we’re complaining.

The Gracie camp — home to Nick Diaz — is the latest to get in on the act. KJ Noons’ statement listing his grievances with Elite XC made mention of Diaz several times, and you didn’t think he was going to be able to do that without waking the beast, did you? We’re a little disappointed that this is coming from Diaz’s camp and not Nick himself, who has been known to do some really great work in the ‘stream of consciousness’ field of shit-talking, but we’ll take what we can get.

On Noons’ claim that Elite XC failed to promote his boxing career, as promised:

1) Earth to KJ; you don’t have a boxing career. No one in the boxing world knows who you are. 2) Another MMA company would have paid you less and not given you a title shot, especially when you were 1-1. 3) If you will not fight Diaz due to a breach of contract by EliteXC then why would you fight Alvarez for the same terms?

On Noons’ insistence that Elite XC isn’t promoting him, instead asking Diaz to sign baseball cards for the DVD of their fight:

1) Nick Diaz, Jake Shields and Frank Shamrock were flown in to shoot an instructional trailer on grappling for the CBS show. The signings were an after thought. You weren’t flown in because you aren’t a grappler. We are sure they will fly you in if they need an instructional on whining. 2) Your contract was for Showtime. Diaz and Shields both signed longer deals for CBS. Nathan Diaz signed a special long term contract for Spike TV etc…This is a business not Burger King, you can’t have it ‘your way’.

On Elite XC’s treatment of Noons, failing to provide him with extra tickets, and bringing Diaz into the cage to start trouble after his victory:

Diaz got no extra tickets in his home town of Stockton and isn’t complaining. 2) Bringing a fighter into the ring to promote an upcoming fight is standard practice. Your (I could of been a contender) drunk father, started a near riot and should be banned from further events and immediately placed in an Alcoholics Anonymous treatment center for his own self respect.

On complaints about money, threats not to fight for Elite XC anymore, etc.:

Promoters will sue when you don’t fulfill the terms of your contract, just ask Randy Couture. By the way, you are not Randy Couture and the fight world is not holding it’s breath waiting to see if you will fight again. 2) $83,000? There are several fighters that are a lot better than you fighting for a lot less. Pay your dues and quit being a little bitch. 3) You are paying your management too high of a percentage and here’s some advice you should consider, “they are completely incompetent”. 4) Chuck Liddell makes 100s of thousands more than Keith Jardine even though he lost to him. Diaz does not complain that Kimbo makes much more. He understands marketability, why can’t you? 5) Divide this and then multiply it several times: KJ = little bitch > KJ = real champion
6) We agree you do need more Vaseline. You are used to it and damn those EliteXC guys for not using it when they bend you over.

On Diaz not being the number one contender since Noons has already defeated him:

1) It is not up to you to decide who the #1 contender is. That is EliteXC’s sole discretion. Patrick Cote will soon be fighting Anderson Silva at the UFC’s sole discretion. Silva is not complaining because he fights whomever they put in front of him. Silva fought Rich Franklin after wrecking him the 1st time. Serra rematched GSP his very next fight after demolishing him. Serra got paid less than GSP even though he was the Champion after the 1st fight. These men are true Champions and fight anyone. This is a concept you cannot seem to grasp. 2) You are scared because Diaz, despite having a terrible showing last time was stopped by cuts. God forbid the doctor that let the fight continue against Gomi had been calling the shots at your fight. In your heart you know what would have happened and you would rather live the lie of being a paper champion. 3) What will EliteXC ever do without you? I guess you will have to watch from your couch. Drink a beer. Prepare to make a ritual of it.

Wow. You see what happens when we start trading statements back and forth? It gets out of hand real fast. Still waiting for Jared Shaw’s half-cocked response. Don’t let us down, $kala.

(Props: Five Ounces of Pain)

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Justscrappin- August 31, 2008 at 12:21 am
If you understood how the Diaz brothers grew up maybe you would respect them. These are two skinny mexican-american kids who at 15 had Cesar Gracie fall into their lap, and teach them sick bjj. Then they take the time to get good at boxing, add that to the natural toughness and tenacity, and how couldnt you be a fan? Have you seen how many times Nick get beats on and comes back? He never backs down, and these dudes he fights have been world champs ( gomi) and he beats them, or at least shows he deserves to be in their company. Just because they are a little rough around the edges doesnt mean they are bad guys. In regards to Kj....fight Nick and see if you can hang 5 without winning on a cut.
Elite XC Sux- August 30, 2008 at 12:37 pm
KJ will go under with Elite XC and Nick will end up somewhere else. Noons is a self centered asshole with no class and a control freak - he probably tells his check where she can go, what she can wear and who she can hang out with; and when his parents said no to McDonalds growing up he probably threw a little bitch tantrum:)
Kim Couture is a cunt- August 29, 2008 at 11:25 pm
KJ Noons is a fuckin girl. And I hate Diaz with a passion.
Mescan_Judo- August 29, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Man, this keeps getting better and better!
KJ is a vajay-jay- August 29, 2008 at 7:56 pm
This is the reason it's always good to hear both sides of a story. KJ made some points that sounded (somewhat) valid, but these counterpoints from Diaz's camp illustrate how naive and self-centered Noons is being. His complaint about pay is ridiculous when compared to the rest of the mma world.
The biggest mistake Noons made is thinking he could have both a boxing and mma career. What's he thinking?!? It's not like a football player who plays baseball, too. There's no off season in these sports. They're both combative sports. Champions tend to fight only 2 or 3 times a year -- how will he pick his priority?
As an mma fan, I don't want fighters pursuing boxing careers while holding mma title belts. That's like letting your girlfriend date other dudes. Eff that, holmes.
sol- August 29, 2008 at 7:36 pm
I cant be certain but I think Nick Diaz left because he wasn't getting promoted properly or something to that respect.

Reading the response to KJ Noons made me laugh and nod in agreement the whole way through. The worst thing about some fighters is that they sign contracts, they actually agree to the terms set and then bitch afterwards.
shitwhistle- August 29, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Wow. Just realized that you have a giant EA Sports ad on the site. Way to go, bitches. How many copies of Tiger Woods '07 did they give you?
shitwhistle- August 29, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Ohh.. snap! They tore him a new Kimbo.
I like how they frequently reference the UFC and their fighters. They're indirectly stating that this the standard we should all go by. I think Nick would love to be in the UFC again.

Bens, (plural) what were the circumstances of Nick leaving the UFC? I never have heard much about it.

By the way, Nate obviously wrote that rebuttal. I'd recognize his sharp, caustic, trenchant wit anywhere.

Now, let an eleven year old write for you douches.
Black Yeti- August 29, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Whoever wrote Brett Roger's statement is the Elite XC "Smack Talking" Champion of the World. All else should bow to his superior use of the written word.
fuckcagepussy- August 29, 2008 at 6:33 pm
go fuck yourselves
The_Outlaw- August 29, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I thought by KJ Noons talking what he was going threw would make sound like a hero. But once again KJ Noons is made to look like whinning little bitch that doesn't get his way. Nick Diaz camp just makes everybody see why KJ Noons thinks he is a god in this sport. He should stick to boxing were the promoters promise him millions, wait he is not even know in the boxing community what a fucking duchbag.
Scott Whitt- August 29, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Man, I am really starting to hate both of these guys. Diaz and Bros. have always been complainers so it is pot calling the kettle black. Noons does have some valid points but has seemingly gone out of his way to screw it up. I do not think he is afraid of Diaz. He handled him the 1st fight. Total destruction. It is getting to the point that I would rather they bring Krazy Horse back.
MMA Wannabe- August 29, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I dislike Nick Diaz with a passion, but frankly I don't see how he's wrong in anything he said.

The champ should step up and face whoever the company says deserves a shot. Even though EliteXC has made some painfully frustrating matchups, they haven't given a title shot to a non-deserving party; otherwise we'd likely see kimbo slice get a title shot soon...
Walter Ruined- August 29, 2008 at 4:23 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, so far KJ Noons is looking like a total bitch. And I'm someone that doesn't like the Diaz brothers, but they are absolutely right on every point made.
Koeikan- August 29, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Harsh, but I completely agree with everything they said :).
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