(Whaddya say, old-timer? One last job, for all the Lipitor?)

According to Sherdog, UFC hall-of-famers Randy Couture and Mark Coleman have verbally agreed to a light-heavyweight headlining match at UFC 109 (February 6th, Las Vegas). Combined age for the fight: 90. At 46 years and five months old at the time of his decision win over Brandon Vera last weekend, Couture is the oldest person to score a victory in the UFC. (If only Ron van Clief had pulled off the upset.) Coleman, who made his Octagon debut at UFC 10 in July 1996, has had the longest career of any fighter currently under contract with Zuffa.

The pairing tells us two things. First, that the UFC realizes a razor-thin decision over Brandon Vera isn't enough to throw Couture directly into a 205-pound title fight; he'll need at least one more win over somebody he can beat, preferably by stoppage. And second, that the UFC is absolutely desperate for headlining bouts. Couture vs. Coleman may turn out to be a #1 light-heavyweight contender's match, but it certainly doesn't deserve to be. Unfortunately, there are no bigger fights available to main-event the card. Though a middleweight title match between Anderson Silva and Vitor Belfort was previously expected to headline UFC 109, Belfort says he may be fighting someone else at the February show.

Fun fact: In 1989, Couture and Coleman met in a freestyle wrestling match at the 1989 Olympic Festival at Oklahoma State; Coleman won by one point. So you can expect the UFC to start referring to this fight as a "MAIN EVENT GRUDGE MATCH."

(Genghis Con says, get hyped for Brown vs. Aldo.  That's an order, soldier.)

With so much going on this week, you might be forgiven for completely forgetting about Wednesday night’s WEC event.  At least, you might be forgiven by most people.  Myself, I’m the type to hold a grudge.  I’m also the type to act on that grudge by stabbing you with a broken bottle of Mad Dog while screaming incoherently.  But that’s me.  I’m old fashioned.  Let’s bet on some fights, shall we?

Betting odds come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com.

Mike Brown (-113) vs. Jose Aldo (+102)
Manny Gamburyan (+105) vs. Leonard Garcia (-105)
Rob McCullough (-145) vs. Karen Darabedyan (+145)
Danny Castillo (-135) vs. Shane Roller (+115)
Kamal Shalorus (-160) vs. Will Kerr (+145)
Diego Nunes (-160) vs. LC Davis (+145)
Cub Swanson (-270) vs. John Franchi (+260)
Antonio Banuelos (-200) vs. Kenji Osawa (+190)
Ricardo Lamas (-225) vs. James Krause (+215)
Seth Dikun (+150) vs. Frank Gomez (-155)

The breakdown…

And so the Brock Lesnar illness saga continues.  According to Dana White's Twitter, the UFC heavyweight champ is out of "minor surgery" and beginning to feel better.  Since the surgery was presumably designed to help deal with a bacterial infection in his intestinal tract, it's hard to imagine that there could anything too minor about it.   Where I come from, wisdom tooth extraction = minor, anything having to do with intestines = major.

At least the surgery sounds like it went well and now White can finally get out of Bismarck.  Meanwhile, every other fighter in the UFC is forced to ask himself, what would it take for Dana to come visit me in a place like North Dakota?  The answer, of course, depends on who you are.  Georges St. Pierre?  Probably wouldn't take much more than a mild heart attack.  Tito Ortiz?  There'd better be some exposed brain matter involved.  Kendall Grove?  Unless aliens show up and declare him their emperor for life, DW isn't even getting out of bed.

(...and don't even get him started on Britney Spears.)

UFC heavyweight contender Shane Carwin, typically one of Brock Lesnar’s harshest critics, has taken to the internet to defend the champ and shame the fans who doubt that his illness is real.  In a message posted to the UG forum, Carwin says that you don’t have to like Lesnar and his “antics,” but says fans “should have respect for the human side of what is happening here.”  In addition to offering his condolences and prayers for Lesnar’s full recovery, Carwin also made it very clear that he doesn’t want Lesnar to be stripped of the title just because he’s too sick to defend it: 

Talk of stripping a man of his title due to illness will set this sport back farther then anything Brock has ever said. We need our Champions healthy and defending. I know the show will go on but to be a Champion you must beat a Champion.

In other words, Carwin’s record as the classiest son of a bitch in all of MMA remains unblemished.  Obviously, he’s right.  As much as some of us might want to see Carwin put his enormous fist through Lesnar’s face, it’s far more important to see Lesnar get healthy.  He may not be the nicest or the most compassionate guy in the world, but he’s still a human being.   A gigantic, ill-tempered human being, who we all hope makes a quick and complete recovery.

(Don't miss next week's episode of 'My Baroni,' when Phil accidentally makes a date with two different ring girls on the same night!)

You may have been so excited about Tito Ortiz bringing his one-man Schadenfreude act back to the UFC that you forgot all about it, but another Octagon veteran returns at UFC 106, and it’s the NYBA himself, Phil Baroni.  When last we saw Baroni he was fending off allegations that he was pharmaceutically-enhanced before losing a one-sided decision to Joe Riggs in Strikeforce.  Now he’s one of the rare fighters to get another shot in the UFC immediately after a loss, and he takes on Amir Sadollah this Saturday night in a contest between two guys in desperate need of a win. 

So go on, Phil.  Tell us all about how bad you're going to beat this mamaluke, or maybe something about how you’ve been avoiding having sex with your wife lately.  Come on and dazzle us.  It's been too long and we can hardly wait to hear your new material:

“Look, I’ve said it all already,” Baroni said. “The trash talking is starting to sound like a broken record, even to me. Nothing that I say is going to affect the outcome of the fight. Nothing he says is going to affect the outcome of the fight. There is no need to hype it up because he is a big name among the fans after winning the reality show. I’m coming to reestablish myself in the UFC at his expense, and I’m sure he is coming to do the exact same thing at my expense, since he lost his last bout. …I’m done with all that, at least for now.  I’m not focused on that stuff. I’m focused on my training. I’ve got a tremendous opportunity in front of me, and I’m doing everything that I can to properly prepare so that I can take full advantage of it.”

Phil, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.