(Don't miss next week's episode of 'My Baroni,' when Phil accidentally makes a date with two different ring girls on the same night!)

You may have been so excited about Tito Ortiz bringing his one-man Schadenfreude act back to the UFC that you forgot all about it, but another Octagon veteran returns at UFC 106, and it’s the NYBA himself, Phil Baroni.  When last we saw Baroni he was fending off allegations that he was pharmaceutically-enhanced before losing a one-sided decision to Joe Riggs in Strikeforce.  Now he’s one of the rare fighters to get another shot in the UFC immediately after a loss, and he takes on Amir Sadollah this Saturday night in a contest between two guys in desperate need of a win. 

So go on, Phil.  Tell us all about how bad you're going to beat this mamaluke, or maybe something about how you’ve been avoiding having sex with your wife lately.  Come on and dazzle us.  It's been too long and we can hardly wait to hear your new material:

“Look, I’ve said it all already,” Baroni said. “The trash talking is starting to sound like a broken record, even to me. Nothing that I say is going to affect the outcome of the fight. Nothing he says is going to affect the outcome of the fight. There is no need to hype it up because he is a big name among the fans after winning the reality show. I’m coming to reestablish myself in the UFC at his expense, and I’m sure he is coming to do the exact same thing at my expense, since he lost his last bout. …I’m done with all that, at least for now.  I’m not focused on that stuff. I’m focused on my training. I’ve got a tremendous opportunity in front of me, and I’m doing everything that I can to properly prepare so that I can take full advantage of it.”

Phil, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.

(Props: MMA TKO...again)

When we heard that Dennis Siver received UFC 105's Knockout of the Night bonus instead of Andre Winner, who appeared to have seriously affected Roli Delgado's future consumption of solid foods with that blistering right hand, we were a little taken aback.  But okay, we thought, in all fairness, we hadn't seen Siver's knockout.  Winner's was clearly a brainstem adjustor of the first class variety, but maybe, just maybe, Siver's was so spectacular that it made Winner look like he'd barely squeaked by.  It's possible, right?

("...so I said, 'Incurable disease? My God, what's the *good* news?' And the doctor says, 'We're going to name it after you.'")

From the Associated Press:

(Photos courtesy of Mad Alex Photography via Fightlinker)

One of the cool things about being divorced is that you get to manhandle ring girls at photoshoots without the threat of your wife socking you in the head with a rolling pin later. No, the only things waiting for you when you come home will be dirty laundry, Dinty Moore beef stew, and sweet, blissful silence. (Or maybe, if you're Randy Couture, your next future ex-wife.) After the jump: More pics from Mad Alex's new Natasha Wicks photo set, plus behind-the-scenes video from the shoot... 

(Kill it with fire!!!!)

Okay, now I think we know why "Mayhem" Miller felt the need to take to Twitter and badger Jake Shields about the result of their Strikeforce title fight.  Miller claims to have gotten a staph infection as a result of the bout, and this photo he posted just a few minutes ago confirms that he's either telling the truth, or an alien is about to jump out of his throat.  The next time you hear Dana White asking a group of starry-eyed young men whether they want to be [expletive] fighters, think about this.  It's not all girls and money and fame.  It's also weird infections that make you look like you're growing a third eye in the middle of your neck. 

Just hold tight, Mayhem.  We may not have any medical expertise whatsoever to help you deal with this, but we're overnighting a turtleneck right now.