(Skip to the 0:21 mark to see Ariel Helwani having a near-death experience at the hands of Wes Sims.)

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Wes Sims would claim his loss to Bobby Lashley at last night's Strikeforce event was the result of an incompetent referee and an unscrupulous opponent. I guess I also shouldn’t be surprised that he showed up to fight looking like he might be five months pregnant, or that he claims to think that the fight was stopped too early. But the fact that he could say, with a straight face, that Lashley didn’t do anything but take him down and lay on him, that seems absurd even for Sims. As anyone who actually watched the fight knows, it was Lashley doing most of the work on the mat while Sims was, in Mauro Ranallo’s words, “holding on for dear life but not defending himself intelligently.”

If you go back and watch the video, just after the two-minute mark you can clearly hear the referee warning Lashley about the thumb to the throat several times, so maybe Sims has a legitimate gripe there. Did it change the outcome of the fight? Based on the fact that Sims’ game plan seemed to consist of a test of strength followed by a lot of pained facial expressions, I’m going to go ahead and say no.

Check out Lashley’s bemused response to all this nonsense after the jump.

(Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night's Strikeforce: Miami show. More after the jump...

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight's Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can't-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you've got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce's vacant welterweight title against head-kickin' rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you're not excited for this card, then you probably don't use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

(The Matt Serra video blog continues down its usual path.)

- Frank Shamrock says don't count Marloes Coenen out just yet. (Cagewriter)

- Jay Hieron just wants his mom to see him fight on TV. (Fighters Only)

- Wes Sims has been training for Bobby Lashley his whole career? (MMA Fighting)

- Strikeforce: Miami preview and predictions. (Heavy)

- Roxanne Modafferi is at it again in Japan. (Fightlinker)

- Marius Zaromski is always just one kick away. (Fight Magazine)

- Booked: upcoming fights on the MMA horizon. (The Rumble)

- Top 10 most lethal strikers in the UFC. (Bleacher Report)

- Kurt Warner announces his retirement. (Scores Report)

- A movie about being a man: The Graduate. (Ask Men)

- This is what happens when a protest gets protested. (Asylum)

- 25 people kicked in the nuts. (Holy Taco)

- 16 villians we'd rather see win. (Screen Junkies)

- How to break up online. (Made Man)

- Greatest fan commercial...ever. (All Left Turns)

- Insane kid jumps onto the top of a moving bus. (Nothing Toxic)

(Finally, someone to ask Herschel Walker the hard-hitting questions, like how do you deal with a spontaneous erection in the middle of math class? Photo courtesy of All Elbows.)

The main card fighters all managed to make weight today for Saturday night's Strikeforce: Miami event, though we did find out that if Herschel Walker plans on making a serious go of it in MMA, he might want to consider a drop to light heavyweight.  Not that there's no market at all for a 214-pound heavyweight, but it is quickly disappearing. 

The boys on the undercard did have a few minor glitches, with some coming in heavy and some laboring under paperwork problems, but as long as "Cyborg" Santos avoided female trouble we have to term this one a complete success.  Don't forget that we'll be liveblogging the entire Showtime broadcast, so come back here on Saturday night to get your fill of commentary, live results, and what passes for wit around these parts.  Full weigh-in results are below.

Nick Diaz (169.5) vs. Marius Zaromskis (169)
Cristiane Santos (144.5) vs. Marloes Coenen (143.75)
Bobby Lashley (252.25) vs. Wes Sims (258.25)
Melvin Manhoef (185.75) vs. Robbie Lawler (185.75)
Herschel Walker (214.25) vs. Greg Nagy (210.5)
Jay Hieron (170.25) vs. Joe Riggs (170.5)