I’m going to tread lightly here, because I don’t want KJ Noons’ dad to physically attack me, but sometimes it just seems like it would be better, maybe, if Karl Jr. didn’t talk. At least not in public. Sure, Noons is a decent fighter, but watching him stumble through six minutes, 35 seconds worth of half-finished sentences, "you knows" and grammar that is probably best described as “Tito-esque” in the above video makes me wonder if a better public relations strategy for him wouldn’t be to just stand there and smile and occasionally flip his lustrous hair out of his eyes.
Noons in fact does spend the first minute of his interview with Ariel Helwani talking about his hair. He’s growing it out, see, just for the experience and just in case he goes bald later in life. You never can be too careful. “It’s pretty crazy, dude,” he says about his plans to see how long he can get it. It takes until the 5:38 mark in this vid for Noons to get to the heart of anything interesting, like the recent comments he made about the UFC being “boring as hell.” When the subject does come up, Noons falls back one of the more tried-and-true defenses for morons who say shit they later regret: It was the media’s fault.
“To clear that up, I think it was pulled out of context,” Noons says of the statements he made during last week’s Strikeforce: Houston media conference call. “I was really just trying to pump up for this fight. I didn’t say UFC fights were ‘lame.’ They pulled it out and put it up there to get more hits on their website. You know how it is. It was more or less just to pump up my fight. UFC fights are not lame, that’s not what I’m saying. It was definitely pulled out of context … You know how people do with the media, they pull something out (to) get a bunch of hits.”
Yeah, we know how the media do, alright. The media records the stupid shit you say – especially when you say it during a conference call specifically designed for us to record the stupid shit you say – and then we put it on our websites. It’s a pretty simple process, really.
Contrary to popular belief however, we typically don’t have to try to make you look any worse than you already do. We don’t have to twist your words or take you “out of context,” (whatever that even means) to get people to read it. One of the beautiful things about covering MMA is that there are more than enough dudes like KJ Noons who are willing to say stupid shit perfectly in context. We don’t have to do a thing to it … except clean up some of the more glaring mistakes in syntax, take out every third “you know” and bring your words more or less verbatim to the public, who are always starving to read the stupid shit you say.
In fact, it’s hard to know exactly what larger “context” Noons thought his words were taken “out of,” especially since the original report I read (and you can read it here) included his comments as part of a 222-word monologue about his upcoming fight with Jorge Gurgel. And here it is:
"I am especially really excited about my opponent and when you put our two styles in the ring you are really going to have a lot of fireworks,” Noons says. “In my eyes, Jorge is the No. 1 contender so this is a top fight for me. By no means am I acting like I have this one in the bag. I am training as hard as I can. This is probably one of the most dangerous opponents I have had … Jorge comes out and puts on great shows, but if you want to watch jiu-jitsu, go to a tournament. This is fighting. If you want to see some lame fighting go watch the UFC, go watch something boring as hell. If you want to see something exciting, come Aug. 21 and see a guy who’s been boxing his whole life, and someone who has a black belt in jiu-jitsu. This is what people want to see … I don’t have to say it very much but look at his track record: He has the fight of the night, and look at my track record (and I) always (have) fight of the night. Put us in the cage and you are going to get fireworks. I have respect for the main event but we are probably going to steal the show."
From my view, it’s hard to imagine a quote more in context than that one. I mean, unless Noons prefaced these statements by saying something like, “Please guys, ignore my next 222 words, because it’s all going to be stupid shit I’m going to regret saying later.” In that case, it would be appropriate to ask for a correction. If not, well, maybe the "context" we’re talking about here is just KJ Noons saying some stupid shit he now wishes he hadn’t said.