(Anyone want to buy a Kimbo?)

The date is set for the auction of Pro Elite’s assets. On November 17, everything that isn’t nailed down, and probably a bunch of stuff that is, will all be sold to the highest bidder. According to the notice of sale, fighter contracts are just part of what’s on the auction block:

The Collateral includes all contracts between any Debtor and mixed martial arts fighters (including, but not limited to, Kevin Ferguson a.k.a. “Kimbo Slice”, Gina Carano, Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, Frank Shamrock, Antonio Silva, Brett Rogers, Dave Herman, Scott Smith, Nick Diaz, Cristiane Venancio Justino a.k.a. “Chris Cyborg”, Eddie Alvarez, Yves Edwards and Wilson Reis) and all of each Debtor’s video library, still photographs and home videos (e.g., DVDs and VHS tapes).

VHS tapes?! Say no more.

Is it me, or is there something creepy about the idea of selling fighters at auction? I can’t help but picture poor “Cyborg” Santos standing up there while sweaty-palmed promoters and fetish pornographers bid for her services, all while she struggles to understand what’s going on. You add Frank Shamrock and Kimbo Slice into that scenario and it begins to feel like a nightmare you have after overdosing on cold medicine.

The UFC is most likely interested in Shields and maybe Lawler, Alvarez, and/or Diaz, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll rush to pick up their somewhat overpriced contracts in these lean economic times (sorry, but Lawler is not worth $100,000). They might well hang back and wager that with Affliction reeling and Strikeforce keeping their operation relatively small and local, there’s no one with both the will and the means to pick up these contracts.

No one, that is, except for an eccentric millionaire who will purchase Nick Diaz and Yves Edwards just so he can hunt them for sport on his private island. Sounds far-fetched now, but just you wait until the 17th. MMA fighters are the ultimate prey.