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Obligatory ‘TUF 17′ Hype of the Day: Dana White Says One Contestant is “Scaring the Shit Out of Everyone”

(I have no joke prepared. I simply wanted another opportunity to remind you that this was a thing that happened.)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, Nation. And since the ratings for The Ultimate Fighter are nose-diving faster than Charlie Sheen into a silica sandbox, old Dana White has had to step up his obligatory pre-TUF hype a notch. You might recall this from last season’s TUF: Smashes, which Dana declared to be the “CRAZIEST SEASON OF TUF EVER!!!!” in the weeks leading up to it; a claim that — although we cannot refute — we are going to go right ahead and call bullshit on.

So perhaps you should take his recent bit of insider info regarding The Ultimate Fighter 17 with a grain (or a 10-pound bag) of salt. The Baldfather recently told MMAFighting that there is apparently one contestant on the upcoming season so dangerous, so terrifying, that he is “scaring the shit out of” his fellow contestants:

I know you guys are going to call bulls— on me and all that (Ed note: Well, at least he’s honest.). I told you guys, last season of The Ultimate Fighter was the worst season in the history of TUF (Again, props DW). This next season is so awesome and so badass. We have a guy on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, every fight he’s in, someone goes to the hospital.

The whole house is terrified of this guy. F– terrified. Everybody. I picked this fight, and this guy is lined up with the guy I’m telling you about, and the guy has a nervous breakdown in the house over the weekend. Has a f– nervous breakdown. Freaks out and has a nervous breakdown. This guy scared the living s— out of everyone. It’s awesome.

That’s right, TUF has officially fallen so far that Dana is hyping the episodes where the fights don’t even happen because one of the fighters is too scared. Next week, Pacey and Jen share a kiss at the barnyard dance and Jesse hilariously struggles with a pill addiction.

Now, we’re not going to get into whether or not Dana should find it “awesome” that these fighters are being sent to the hospital on a regular basis. We’re not even going to discuss how sad it is that the president of the UFC would rather trot out this same dog and pony show each year instead of putting Old Yeller down once and for all. Instead, we’d rather like to speculate about the supposed injuries these fighters are being hospitalized with. Based on recent events, we’re going to go with the following: wet locker room floor, salmonella, and of course, air hockey table accident. We swear to God, that last one has a mind of its own and it hates British people.

The list of TUF 17 contestants has yet to be released, but we’ll make sure to keep you updated as details are made available. Until then, we’ll continue to slap a pair of ballroom shoes on this turd and call it a princess.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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coldbeer78- December 22, 2012 at 12:10 am
Ok I realize that nobody will see my comment, as I am way too late, but I am getting sick and fucking tired of everyone bitching about fights not being good enough. Did any of you know who any of the fucking fighters were in UFC 1? No! We watched that shit to see people get punched in their fucking faces and didn't give a shit who it was. Quit your bitching, get back to the roots of why you loved this sport in the first place, and shut the fuck up. On another note, praise be to J. Jones for all the good work he does here. I myself have kicked him some shit, but the reality is, without him, the shit show that is Cagepotato would probably collapse. Thank you, that is all.
J.Jones- December 22, 2012 at 7:35 am
Thanks man. Appreciate the kind words.
DonMatus42- December 20, 2012 at 11:33 pm
This is the kind of shight that makes mma look bad. fighting as being modernly proven is more about hard work and talent than gorilla dna advantage. The days of cavemen ruling everyone by being scary are done soon enough.
HEY- December 20, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Watch what you want and beat off for as long as you want. I know I will. All I'm saying is, the more pro MMA on the air, the better. ^_^
Pen Fifteen- December 20, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Seriously, if you're choosing between TUF and the Kardashians, shell out the $15 a month for HBO/Cinemax and start DVRing softcore porn and Nicholas Cage movies. There is no way you'll regret this decision.
dranokills- December 20, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I will watch no matter what anyone says. I have watched them all, I have had my say about them all. nothing will change, if they air it, I will watch it, cause its THIS or those goddamn Kardashians girls.
Pen Fifteen- December 20, 2012 at 8:39 pm
What's not to like is that this the fights are virtually meaningless at this point, given that the majority of the roster is going to be released without a single UFC fight; the coaches matchups haven't mattered in years; and it's the same contrived drama season after season. This show has really been downhill since at least the Penn-Pulver season, and that was like 5 years ago. I dare anywone to offer an argument for why the hour a week I'd waste on this show wouldn't be better spent, say, beating off.
HEY- December 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Ok the "dog and pony show" comparison cracked me up, but let me get this straight: You'd actually want LESS pro-level MMA on television rather than more? O_o? C'mon yall. All the "I'm not on TV to make friends" crap aside, TUF is essentially an MMA tournament combined with a "Road to the Octagon" that leads up to a new fight every week. What's not to like?
SethF- December 21, 2012 at 11:53 am
By that argument, if you're a football fan who isn't obsessed with arena football and the CFL, you're a hypocrite. More professional events are only a good thing when a quality product is consistently being turned out.
FightZen- December 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Damnit Danga. re: = regarding. You should have gone with i.e.

J.Jones- December 20, 2012 at 7:10 pm
That was actually suppose to say "or." Not sure how I fucked that up but thanks for the spot.
crappiefloper- December 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Unless this demon pulls still beating hearts out of his opponents chests ala Indiana jones and the temple of doom, this TUF will suck as well.
I'll still watch though, just on the off chance that a man is actually killed
Mr_Misanthropy- December 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm
They're letting everyone get to comfortable in these giant mansions. Last season everybody was so kicked back and hungover they didn't even want to fight. They need to build a trailer park for the next season in the middle of the desert and make the contestants fight for their weekly supplies of food and supplements.
teep- December 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm
So did the guy that had the nervous break down go to leave for India too?
Anhonestmoose- December 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Remember a couple seasons back when some dude on TUF was supposed to be the next Anderson Silva (according to Dana)? Whatever happened to that guy?
SethF- December 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm
He's a Michael Jackson impersonator at a casino in Vegas. Makes decent money, too.

What, you thought Dana meant the guy would be Silva as a fighter? That's adorable.
Mr_Misanthropy- December 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I think he kept repeatedly fainting and having seizures just like Anderson.
Mood- December 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Is it Datsik? I hope it's Datsik. They can keep him locked up in the house during the day and wheel him out to the cage Hannibal Lector style for the fights. Please let it be Datsik.