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10 of the Dumbest Quotes in MMA

10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.

9. BJ Penn

Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ – and he’s a fan favorite – but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?

8. Wanderlei Silva

Quote: “I want to fuck…I want to fight Chuck, fuck Chuck.”
We understand English is not his first language, but if I’m going to be at press conferences and giving recorded interviews, I’m going to at least make sure I’m not saying I want to bone a dude instead of fight him. But maybe that’s just me. I’m not from his country. [Ed. note: Sure, GSP’s accent has led to some hilarious moments, but never did we misconstrue him as wanting to bed Matt Hughes.]

7. Jim Brown

Quote: “I don’t know what kind of technique was used there, but there was a lot of kicking and punching.”
Astute observations like this is what helps us understand the ins-and-outs of MMA. Sure, the use of Jim Brown may have just been a ploy to throw some celebrity power behind the broadcasts, but my grandmother could have made this remark. Actually, my grandmother has made this remark.

6. Phil Baroni

Quote: “I fight because I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and it beats working all day. Now ask me a question that doesn’t sound so fucking stupid.”
Well, for those of you who can’t sing, dance or fight, I guess you’re up shit creek. Looks like you’ll be working all day for the rest of your miserable existence. Baroni never did handle interviews with kid gloves, but when you make comments that are just plain stupid, expect to make the dumb list.

5. Tank Abbott

Quote: “I felt like I was being raped by Freddy Mercury.”
Tank made this comment over a decade ago after losing to Dan Severn. Now, we’re not sure if Tank actually had the experience of being violated by Queen’s bandleader or if that was the first person who came to mind when he was asked how he felt. Even though Dan Severn and Freddie Mercury shared similar mustache styles, this still ranks as one of the dumbest.

4. Tim Sylvia

Quote: “Half of this game is 90% mental.”
We may feel a little sorry for him sometimes, but this guy just can’t stay off of our worst lists. This one was just begging to be here. And for those of you who failed math more than once (is that so wrong?) half is 50%, not 90%. Hence the dumbness.

3. Mike Goldberg

Quote: “He wants to get in close to use that reach advantage.”
Goldie is a master at the dumb quotes and has a multitude during each broadcast – like “Looks like Tito is taking a book out of Chuck’s chapter.” This gem comes from Ultimate Fight Night 10 and it will certainly be topped by an even dumber quip by the toothy commentator soon. It’s only a matter of time before Rogan chokes MIke out for his idiotic sayings.

2. Paul Buentello

Quote: “Don’t fear me. (pause to get the crowd pumped) Fear the consequences.”
We’re sure he had something cool to say, but as soon as he got the first three words out it all went blank. Then cheesy movie lines started rushing into his head and he’s stuck with this embarrassing quote for life.

1. Ken Shamrock

Quote #1:”You got kicked. By a kick.”
Quote #2: “I am very confident this fight can go either way.”
We could do a top 100 of Ken’s quotes, but we’ll only use these two from TUF 3 for this list. Quote #1 is so blatant, it hardly warrants anything be said about it. The second quote is a classic Ken when a microphone is shoved in his face and he must rely on his mind to do the heavy lifting for him. The results are hi-larious. But careful about making fun of him, he will “beat you into a living death” (an actual Ken quote).

Cagepotato Comments

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Chad- March 31, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Ok, tha Silvia quote...... The dumbness isnt half is 50% not 90% because you wouldn't say, Half of this game is 50% mental would u????? That would mean only 25% of the game is mental...... (50% of half, being 25%, i passed math :) ) The dumbness is knowing he didnt mean 45% is mental (Half of 90% being 45%) The dumbness is just how he said it.
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Alex- March 23, 2008 at 5:04 am
lol all this shit was funny...keep it going
Paul- March 15, 2008 at 2:15 am
The Quote: “I fight because I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and it beats working all day.Well Phil Baroni copied that from the movie rocky
fuku- March 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm
how many of you actually read the other comments before you post?? could you please continue to repeat the same stuff over and over...i dont think i fully understand....assclowns
sami- March 12, 2008 at 5:37 am
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wow you guys are disgruntled- February 26, 2008 at 5:35 am
WOW, I can't believe how pissed off some people get at this list! I mean c'mon, lighten up a little bit, it's just a little bit of information that was for your entertainment. I was just hoping for more people to come up with quotes that were missed in the list. I can't quote it exactly, but I thought it was funny and somewhat awkward when Diego Sanchez won the ultimate fighter finale against Kenny Florian and when being interviewed he went on some emotional rant about who he thanked and went on about god and wanted to thank everyone he could think of off the top of his head until Joe Rogan basically yanked the microphone away from his face. I'm not really doing it any justice, but if you watch it, it's pretty funny.
Dave- February 26, 2008 at 3:33 am
Tim Sylvia is quoting Yogi Berra (hall of fame Yankee catcher). Yogi was known for weird/funny quotes. Looks like you're the dumb ass.
Sam- February 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm
What about after the Pride riot between Mark Coleman and Wanderlei Silva, Wandy shouting "You kick me! You kick my face in the ground! You too!" sounded hilarious with his accent
Billy J- February 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm
*The Tim Sylvia quote is actually a quote from the late baseball great Yogi Bera (sp?) It goes Baseball is 90% half mental.

*The Bj Penn quote is funny--I think he meant I eat alot of meat and whatever the hell else too. It's actually a witty way to put it.
eric y- February 20, 2008 at 1:39 am
well sammie doesn't get it but jay whitlow and eric y think that it is all a bunch of red-neck bullcrap.
Nora- February 20, 2008 at 1:30 am
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757LEM518- February 17, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I dont know if this has been posted within the past comments.

-rampage. haha
joshua- February 17, 2008 at 4:45 am
the 90% mental is a direct "Madden" quote from the '05 game
Anonymous- February 16, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I heard that there was a time when WWE was trying to get Goldberg as a new commentator, and UFC was considering hiring Jim Ross for the same job.

Rogan: He's landing some good shots. HE'S GOT HIS BACK!
bump- February 14, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Do a list of dumb Mike Goldberg quotes. He is the only one on this list that gets paid to talk. I can forgive a guy who gives/receives blows to the head for a living for saying something dumb, but who did Mike Goldberg blow for his job? He is TW (the worst).
Mikey Havok- February 12, 2008 at 4:06 pm
...I fuckin love Rampage man, everything he says is pure gold...and that pic of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg is fuckin PRICELESS, I laughed til I cried!
admin- February 12, 2008 at 1:57 am
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OpEd- February 11, 2008 at 4:29 am
Quote: “Half of this game is 90% mental.”

I think you fail to see the true genius involved here.. What he is saying is that half (being 50%) of this game is 90% mental.. So actually he is saying 45% of the entire game is mental, considering 90% of 50% = 45%.

Thank you, thank you. Yes I did go to MIT.