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Oh Dear God, No: Musical Adaptation of ‘Fight Club’ In the Works for Broadway

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming, but it doesn’t make it any more less idiotic. According to Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk, although it’s been 15 years since he penned his acclaimed best seller, there is apparently a Broadway adaptation of “Fight Club” is in the works.

The play, which will likely be based heavily on David Fincher’s 1999 film adaptation that starred Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter, will join Spiderman and Batman as the new wave of live action theatre that appeals to men who aren’t gay or who are simply fans of stupid concepts.

Plahniuk told Shortlist during a recent interview that Fight Club on Broadway will likely happen and that he’s all for the idea, although it’s probably not so much the idea he likes since it’s ridiculous, as it is the barrels of cash he’ll be paid for licensing out his most successful property.

“[David] Fincher mentions it periodically,” Palahniuk said. “My screen agent advises me not to sell the theatrical rights [to Fight Club], because apparently it’s still supposed to happen. I think it could be fascinating. It doesn’t horrify me, so I don’t see why not.”

You don’t see why not? Jesus, Chuck, did you not read your own book or were the tome’s messages of anti-consumerism a sham? That would be like Al Gore rolling up to the premiere of “An Inconvenient Truth” driving a Hummer.

Anyway, that’s my rant for the day.

Check out some funny anecdotes from Palahniuk from the interview while you stew on the news above:

On the somewhat disturbing effect Fight Club had on its readers:
“They would send me pictures of themselves smiling,” he recalls, referring to fans of the book who used it as a life instructional of sorts. “All beat-up after gory backyard fights. They were sweet, goofy photos. They looked like little children covered in blood.I remember doing a signing at a book shop in London and a young man told me he loved what I’d written [in Fight Club] about waiters doing things to celebrities’ food. He said he worked in a four-star restaurant in the City. He refused to tell me which one, so ?I said that I wouldn’t sign his book. He went very quiet and suddenly said, ‘Margaret Thatcher has eaten my sperm.’ I started laughing, so he became bolder and added, ‘At least five times.’ It was such a glorious, hideous little moment.”

On the anarchic prank group, the Cacophony Society, of which he was a member and which was the basis of the book’s maniacal terrorist organisation, Project Mayhem:

“People at Cacophony tended to have structured lives,” says Palahniuk. “The Society gave them a limited window of chaos — the chance to go insane for a few hours and then return to their normal existence.One year,they wrapped gifts ?in Playboy centrefolds. They weren’t supposed to go to children, but one [Cacophony member who assembled en masse with other members who dressed as Santa] gave a few to a kid and ended ?up being arrested.”

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GistoftheFist- September 7, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Ugh, the thought of Robert Paulson singing on stage with sweaty bitchtits makes me retch.
Sho Nuff- September 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm
So what's wrong with this? The book already transferred mediums to become a great movie, why not a play as well? I don't see why this is a ridiculous idea? I'm guessing the one responsible for this turd of an article thinks all theater is like Cats? Theater is the oldest performing art, for outdating cinema, and, done right, is the highest echelon of art.
Fried Taco- September 7, 2011 at 11:19 am
At least MMA fighters will have a bunch of new songs for their entrance music.
Shifty-Eyed Dog- September 7, 2011 at 11:17 am
This "news" has been around for YEARS. He always says the same thing - "let them make it. It doesn't affect my book, so I don't care. As long as the check clears, they can do whatever they want."
XENOPHON- September 7, 2011 at 10:47 am
With any luck Bisping got a taste of that same sperm, and if he hasn't yet - its sure to come! GRIN
ExpectJesusBro- September 7, 2011 at 10:34 am
Someone please kick Chuck in the nuts.