(This must be what Bizarro World Ross Clifton looks like.)
Forget about the Ken Shamrock-Tank Abbott bout that you’ve been positively salivating over, because Bloody Elbow says Shamrock will get beaten up by former pro wrestler Bobby Lashley at Roy Jones Jr.’s “March Badness” event in Pensacola, Florida first. Looks like you’ll have to wait a little longer for your dream fight, MMA fan who is stuck in 1996.
Lashley has only one pro fight so far, which might be reason enough for Shamrock — who is still riding high after his victory over morbidly obese tomato can Ross Clifton — to think he has a chance.
But does he really have a shot? Of course not. Lashley may be a newcomer to MMA, but he was a national wrestling champion in college. In addition to that, he’s also a superb athlete and is not really old, slow, and suffering visible effects from years of beatings. In other words, he has several crucial advantages over Shamrock.
Naturally, Shamrock is agreeing to take this beating because he wants to get paid, but we’d also like to think that maybe some part of him was spurred on by the grilling Michael David Smith gave him over whether he should just quit if all he’s going to do is fight fat dudes from here on out. Mostly it’s money, though.
As much of an oddity as this fight is, you have to admit that it does have a certain name-value appeal. Two former WWE guys, one at the long, sad twilight of his MMA career and the other just starting out, squaring off on a card that also features boxing and MMA fights that are actually competitive (Roy “Big Country” Nelson vs. Jeff “Enemy of Monogamy and Grandfather Clocks” Monson, for example).
Basically, this is the event with something for everyone. Say what you will about Roy Jones Jr., but he’s proving to be a decent promoter. Now if he can just book a couple figure skaters, a heavy metal band, and some dogs that catch frisbees in their mouths, he will truly have every form of entertainment that matters.
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Comments
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:23
Wow no one on Earth should give a fuck about this match. Shamrock shouldn't legally be allowed to fight.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:28
Ken Shamrock: Comeback of The Year, People. Go Ken! Go!
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:34
Lashley by dismemberment in the first.... few seconds.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:47
Douche Machine you are a DOUCHE MACHINE!
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:56
Everyone should agree to band together and horsewhip the fuck out of the first "journalist" that says Lashley should be wary of Shamrock's devastating leglocks.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 04:58
LMAO WOW KEN WOOW!! IMO the same in boxing someone has to start regulating this freak show shit! Someones gotta be able to step in and say you cant fight anymore at least not against someone half your age twice your size and shit jesus another one of MMA's biggest pushes Is "NOONES EVER BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT OR KILLED WHILE FIGHTING" keeping this type of shit up someone definitely will!!
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:03
I wonder what Shamrock's eleventh hour injury will be when he finally realises what a beating he's about to take?
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:03
R.I.P Ken Shamrock Lashley will rip him in half
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:05
"MESSAGE FROM 2010. Allegedly after Lesnar and Lashleys, DonFrye- YoshihiroTakayama-eque bout last weekend. Lesnar was returned the belt, after suprisingly BOTH fighters tested positive for HGH by the NSAC. Lesnar happily grabbed his belt back, and quickly remarked. "That test was bullshit, i have Never failed a drug test. This interview is OVER."
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:05
Bob Lashley is a 3 time national chapionship wrestler @ Missouri Valley college. A NAIA div II power house. Other "powerhouses" in the same conference: Southern Oregon Dickenson State Montana State-Northern California Baptist Notre Dame.......of Ohio and Simon Frasier of British Columbia I'm not saying Ol' Bob isn't going to beat Shammy....to a pulp. I just wanted to clown on his acomplishments before we call him the "Black Brock Lesnar".
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:15
Lashley's gonna inhale really hard and vacuum-suck Kenny into those oxygen hogging nostrils of his. Only downside? He'll have the World's-Most-Dangerous-Boogers when he wakes up the next morning.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:38
If Ken's just fighting for money, let's pay him to drop a decision to Scott "Lionheart" Blevins. It'll be great... Ken will still think people want to watch him fight, and on Blevins can keep thinking he is a "Maui" Thai master.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:44
@Netterbog LOL... Now that is the comment of the week ! ha ha (real hard)
Mon, 03/02/09 - 05:47
Lashley's also a former ECW Champion. This fight's gonna get Extreme!!!
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:13
I'm taking Lashley in this epic bout. And to quote Amir, "He'll win by, ah... murder?" I do hope this saves us from Shamwow v. Tankasaurus later this year. Of course if the Florida Commission has any balls, they don't issue Ken a license after the way he bagged out of his last match in their state.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:13
Lashley by pre-match training "accident"
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:20
i think there should be a new rule for drug testing. it's called the "look at the size of this mother-fucker" rule. basically, you put a few NSAC officials in a room with the fighter in question, and if more than one of them says "Look at the size of THIS mother fucker!" that fighter automatically tests positive for steroids. or in the case of Ross Clifton, hamburgers. judging by his picture, bobby lashley would definitely fail this drug test
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:30
It's not that his nostrils are big, it's that he has a tiny ass mouth. I guess his lips are HGH resistant.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:34
lets have a hardcore match, but only shamrock can use chairs, tables, metal steps, etc. lashley still gets one punch knockout. if shamrock isnt out smoking crack and cutting himself. i hate ken, but god damn fuck frank and his stupid braces. diaz needs to put a triangle, and instead of pulling the head down, pull a joint out of his shorts and spark up until frank goes out
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:35
Ken will be eating Double Quarter pounders just to make it above the 205 limit. Ken reminds me of the creepy 24 year old guy that hangs out at the mall with the 15 year teenagers. You know the guy the kids need to buy the booze. When will he ever learn that his time is GONE AND PAST??? Is it gonna have to take serious injury or embarassment?? No, embarassment defintiely makes no difference to Ken. Ken will be working on what excuse/pre fight injury to use for this one. PLEASE
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:38
When this picture was taken Bobby was trying incredibly hard to shit out that young boy he had consumed the night before.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:39
Stuck in 1996? You mean All Eyez on Me is longer the best album fucking EVER? Ben, you can officially blow me.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 06:48
Jennifer Love Hewitt has pretty nice tits.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 07:00
Soooo.... Lashley is going to sink in a rear naked choke and just when things look grim we all start chanting "U-S-A!!" really loud, Shamrock will wave to us to make it louder, slowly stand to his feet, take a couple of chest slaps and then end the fight via *insert gay fake wrestling move*..... I'll pass. Maybe the next card will include Hulk Hogan vs. John Cena...
Mon, 03/02/09 - 07:05
What the hell is Ken Shamrock thinking, there is now way in hell he can take this big ass mother. I predict Lashley by brutal ground and pound before the ref steps in and saves Kens fucking life.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 07:20
Lesnar vs. Lashley... Dana, whip out the chequebook and make it happen. Less than ten pro fights between the two of them, the fans will have two big mother f*ck*r newbies slugging it out. It won't be a technical match, and there's zero chance of either fighter managing a triangle choke, but .... damn. It'd be a helluva fight. Ken will faint after the ring announcements. It will be the first ko before the ref calls the fighters to the center of the cage. Then he'll complain about Lashley being greased and whine early stoppage.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 07:45
Ken Shamrock should think about saving some money instead of living fight by fight or he will find himself getting demolished by guys like these. Futhermore, Ken, stop spending all your money on roids, they wont work on your old ass body anymore. You know they have replaced your testical's testosterone production decades ago, thats why you got a tiny empty potato sack.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 07:55
100 bucks says Shamrock gets "cut" before the fight.....
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:11
I'll take that bet.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:13
Netterbog: That comment spurred some crazy deja vu about this article. Why would I get the feeling that I read "Worlds Most Dangerous Boogers" before, I don't know. I was confused at the time I thought this because Lashely wasn't involved in MMA yet. I was baffled then and I'm baffled now. No, I have never tken any hallucinogenic drugs.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:40
This is funny and sad at the same time.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:42
looks like a young bob sapp... discuss
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:50
It will be funny when major sportsbooks offer a line on whether or not the fight ends before it starts. They will offer many special betting packages....kinda like they do around super bowl games They will have an over/under on the day Ken backs out What/when the injury/excuse will be How many hours before the fight will Ken backout
Mon, 03/02/09 - 08:58
Isn't this the guy from Green Mile? He should come out wearing his tatered overalls. "Yes Boss." He will be sitting in the middle of the ring when the fights over (min at best) with shamrocks head and limp body on his lap crying "I tried to take it back, I tried to take it back!"
Mon, 03/02/09 - 09:04
So apparently it's just Lesnar's personality people don't like, because the fact that no one is giving Lashley any shit for steroids says either they don't care about him or it's okay because he's "cool" somehow. You can google him and see him about 60lbs lighter off the juice.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 09:14
so a black mussle bound dick head vs a wrinkley bag of carpet should be interesting
Mon, 03/02/09 - 10:19
Run Ken run
Mon, 03/02/09 - 10:28
Oh my GAWD.....this is pure win. Props to Netterbog, Zombie Rock, & The Harvester for making me LOL.....
Tue, 03/03/09 - 12:36
If Shamrock would stop getting his ass beat by people he would make much more money in the long run from coaching young fighter sand still have the credabilty of being a good fighter! the more times he gets his ass whoopped! the less he can charge, or people will pay for him to coach them! If Lashley wins this id love to see Danna take him in to the UFC! Could you imagin Brock v Bobby in the UFC one day!?
Tue, 03/03/09 - 02:29
Laughs, nice one.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 05:02
Jeez, I hope they have a medical team on hand with oxygen and full body brace as Lashley is going to punch a hole through Ken.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 05:55
Honestly, I just wanted to see Lashley take on a exciting opponent!! The man's a beast! And hasn't Lesnar already displayed to us that if your a bulging freakish bull then you can pretty much steam roll men smaller than you.. And alot of you will probably agree that Ken Shamrock is no longer a pro, and watching the transistion from amateur - pro - legend - pro - amateur is quite.. I dunno.. Its like a documentary; 'MMA Through the Ages'. Haha.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 05:56
Honestly, I just wanted to see Lashley take on a exciting opponent!! The man's a beast! And hasn't Lesnar already displayed to us that if your a bulging freakish bull then you can pretty much steam roll men smaller than you.. And alot of you will probably agree that Ken Shamrock is no longer a pro, and watching the transistion from amateur - pro - legend - pro - amateur is quite.. I dunno.. Its like a documentary; 'MMA Through the Ages'. Haha.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 06:07
8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!8==========DCOOL!(___Y___)
Tue, 03/03/09 - 06:42
Ben can you PLEASE delete that shit. Also, Shamrock is dead....I mean he might actualy die in this match. Not because Lashley is an MMA god or anything, but if he punches shamrock in the face as hard as he can.....welll bad things will happen.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 07:04
Cool is a Douche. Just because reading is so difficult for you, you do't have to make it so time consuming for the rest of us.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 07:06
Lesnar vs. Lashley: Man-Baby Dream Match of the Decade www.manbabies.com
Tue, 03/03/09 - 07:10
I'm getting tired of seeing this guy's ugly mug on every mma site today.
Tue, 03/03/09 - 09:21
"HGH-resistant lips." Classic!
Tue, 03/03/09 - 06:38
It's too bad they didn't book Ken Shamrock vs Bobby Lashley vs Tank Abbott in a 3-way fight. That way people could at least see something that has never been done, and an ending that isn't ridiculously predictable.
Wed, 03/04/09 - 12:59
WHO ATE MY POKEMONS
Tue, 03/10/09 - 04:13
hugh jass
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