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Oh, the Irony: June White is Back With Her Most Hilariously Misguided Venture Yet

(A dead-eyed lunatic who will not stop until she has destroyed her own kin? Where have we seen this sort of thing before?) 

Aren’t the elderly adorable, you guys? With their slow driving and their old-timey racism and their inability to adjust to current technological changes, they are all but walking punchlines just waiting to be set up! Take June White, for instance, who you might remember as the vitriolic, money-grubbing mother of UFC President Dana White. You see, old June wrote a tell-all book about her son a while back in which she claimed he was a soulless devil reincarnate, and has rightfully been raked over the coals for being the deplorable, transparent piece of garbage that she truly is in the time since. Typically, these attacks could be found in the form of comments like the one I just made on her Twitter account or her book’s Amazon page.

While most of us — like our buddies at Fightlinker, for instance — would write off the public’s harsh yet appropriate treatment of June as simple poetic justice, June herself has apparently viewed the backlash as an opportunity to self-implode with irony. Believe it or not, The Baldmother is now attempting to sue anonymous internet commenters with names like Bootyduty3 (If only I was joking) for “defamation, libel and civil conspiracy.” Sea Coast Online has the scoop:

June White, a Hampton resident and the mother of Ultimate Fighting Championship President Dana White, has filed a lawsuit to find out who has been smearing her name on the Internet ever since the release of a highly critical unauthorized biography she wrote about her son.

White claims a troop of cyberbullies — with aliases such as Bootyduty3, Joe Stranger and The Real June White — have been posting “horrific” comments about her and her family for more than a year. She said she fears her son’s company is behind the attacks. “I hate to say it but it could be (UFC that’s organizing the bad-mouthing), and that’s one of the reasons I really want to find out,” White said Wednesday. “If it is, that’s pretty sad.”

That’s Pretty Sad…June, I think someone just came up with the title of their soon-to-be-released autobiography!

But don’t worry, we haven’t reached the summit of Mt. Irony yet, Nation:

White said she filed a lawsuit with the U.S. District Court in New Hampshire on April 12 because she was told that’s the only way she can get a subpoena to find out who’s behind the aliases. She’s representing herself because attorneys quoted her “well over $100,000″ to carry out her suit.

The lawsuit charges 21 anonymous commenters with defamation, libel and civil conspiracy. It says they’ve called White “psycho,” “vindictive,” “spiteful,” and “pathetic,” among many expletives, and suggested that she and her family participated in sexual deviancy and drug abuse and that she both abandoned and kidnapped her children.

That must be tough, June, having random people throw spiteful and dishonest remarks at you like that. Well, at least spiteful. Now, just go with us for a minute here, but we’d like you to imagine what it would be like if one of those random people turned out to be the woman who gave birth to you. And even worse, she was making money off of the comments that served no other purpose than tearing you down. Unforgivable, right?

White said it was her supporters who initially pointed out that it could be the UFC organizing the attacks.

“They told me that (UFC) has a department that’s all they do is discredit people they’re mad at for whatever reason,” she said.

She said her supporters, like her, initially thought that Dana would intervene to put an end to the harassment.

I had been waiting for Dana to tell whoever’s doing this to knock it off and defend his mom and family, and they were all surprised he wasn’t stepping up to the plate,” she said.

Alright, June, you’ve earned this one fair and square.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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The_Dead_Cow- April 26, 2013 at 8:04 pm
This is the Internet, let the hate flow through you
Mr_Misanthropy- April 26, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Debbie Thumbsdowner strikes again.

Somebody should rape choke that stupid bitch.
teep- April 26, 2013 at 6:17 pm
I know we give DW alot of shit on this site, but considering this woman is who he came from, he is actually not that bad!
eyelid_sunrise- April 26, 2013 at 4:43 pm
CP got some sort of undisclosed coop with the UFC? Hook, line, bait and sinker. If that is not the case I suggest you read up on what a spindoctor's job is, and how they would apply their skill to the benefit of Mr. White.
google- April 26, 2013 at 2:09 pm
So how does Bootyduty1 and 2 feel about her?
Mr_Misanthropy- April 26, 2013 at 1:17 pm
It's a struggle to reach the top of Mt. Irony, but when you get there you can see for miles. I highly recommend it.
Dog Dicks Magoo- April 26, 2013 at 12:42 pm
I want to crawl up inside her and go to sleep.
Fried Taco- April 26, 2013 at 12:26 pm
That's why I always say nice things about everyone on the internet. BTW, didn't Bootyduty3 claim that CagePotato had sex with animals? Maybe it *is* the UFC...