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Oh, the Irony: Michael Bisping Suffers Detached Retina, Out of Action Until October

(Tomax, meet Xamot. Photo via Getty Images.)

Look, we know we’ve been declaring a lot of things to be “ironic” around here lately, but this…this is just ridiculous.

On yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight, Ariel Helwani revealed that middleweight contender and prestigious member of the citizenry, Sir Michael of Bisping — the very same who once scribed that a certain dullard from Mississippi had “given himself a career-threatening eye-strain by watching too much internet porn” — has suffered an identical deformation. Even worse, the injury came as a result of a tussle with the very same dullard whom “The Count” both rebuked for said addiction to thinking machine-based lewdness and nearly blinded in the very same contest.

In common folk speak, we are trying to say that Michael Bisping suffered a detached retina during the very same UFC 159 fight in which he nearly took Alan Belcher’s right eye home with him. And that is ironic.

“After the fight against Alan Belcher, Michael Bisping completely lost all peripheral vision in his right eye,” Ariel Helwani reported yesterday. “He went to see an eye on doctor on Tuesday and he found out that he had a detached retina. On Thursday, he had surgery to fix the detached retina. He’s hoping to return to the UFC in October.”

No word yet on whether or not Bisping will be interested in a potential catchweight fight with Rich Franklin when he returns, but we will keep you updated.

-J. Jones


  1. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 01:19

    Oh the ironing! Always gotta watch out for that Karma!
  2. Deadpanda Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 01:20

  3. crappiefloper Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 02:02

    "if you can read this"....well, then your not Michael Bisping
  4. Pen Fifteen Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 02:25

    I'm sure Bisping would be interested in a potential catchweight fight with Rick Franklin, because he sure as shit can't be fighting nobodies like Luke Rockhold. Indeed, if you want to get an undeserved title shot after failing miserably to beat the top guys in your class, beating a guy who is over the hill is probably your best bet.

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 03:02

  6. J.Jones Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 03:43

    @Pen - Damn, we were close. Turns out Bisping is interested in a potential bout with Cung Le. Honestly, I don't hate that idea.
  7. Mr_Misanthropy Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 04:35

    Well, I certainly didn't see this one coming. Hindsight is 20/20.
  8. Mr_Misanthropy Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 04:37

    Your laundry joke fell flat. Slack delivery failed to cleanly impress me with its steaming feature.
  9. algiersheadkick504 Says:

    Wed, 06/05/13 - 09:20

    Let him fight Okami
  10. Fried Taco Says:

    Thu, 06/06/13 - 11:37

    I see what you did there!
  11. IronClad Says:

    Thu, 06/06/13 - 12:37

    Dear CP, Why are so many people confused on the basic meaning of irony? You state this is ironic because Michael Bisping suffered an eye injury at the hands of the same opponent that Bisping had inflicted the injury on. This isn't all. This is called karma, revenge, coincidence but certainly not irony. If Allen Belcher were an eye doctor and he had given Bisping an eye injury, that would be ironic. This is just a story about "an eye for and eye".
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    Sat, 06/08/13 - 04:43

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  13. mark mania Says:

    Tue, 12/03/13 - 11:35

    Oh, the Irony: Michael Bisping Suffers Detached Retina, Out of Action Until October - Cagepotato... Souls in the Waves...
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    Thu, 08/28/14 - 06:59

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  15. MMA and UFC live news | Power-Ranking Michael Bisping’s Grudge Matches, By Level of Anger - Says:

    Wed, 10/29/14 - 01:54

    [...] Accidental or otherwise, the eye poke earned Bisping even more heat than usual from irate fans, who could only take solace when the MMA Gods evened the scales a few months later. [...]
  16. cat 4 brother Says:

    Sun, 01/18/15 - 04:56

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