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Oh, The Irony: Rampage Jackson to Host Self Defense Seminar for Women Tomorrow

Fame is a funny thing. One second it has you teaching tomorrow’s youth how to rape transsexuals in parking garages, and the next it has you teaching women (and possibly transsexuals) to defend themselves from said rapists. Such is the case with former UFC light heavyweight champion, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, who recently posted the above flyer on the Twitter account of his fitness academy along with the following info:

Rampage is giving back to the community and hosting a free self defense seminar for women on March 28th.

Who wants to bet that Page’s first bit of sage-like defense advice will be to purchase a pair of his patented anti-rape shoes? After staring at a pair for over an hour at my local Foot Locker the other day, I’ve determined that the only possibly explanation for the millipede-like protrusions on the underside of those things is that they act like some sort of Inspector Gadget spring device when someone is cornered. Or being raped.

So ladies, how many of you are ready to let the man who put the “sex” in sexual assault teach you how to avoid being a victim?

-J. Jones 

Cagepotato Comments

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dmmnkldo- April 1, 2013 at 11:13 am
upto I looked at the bank draft of $6245, I accept cousin woz truly making money part time from there new laptop.. there neighbor had bean doing this for under twelve months and resently repayed the morgage on there cottage and bought a great Buick. we looked here,
masterbaitntackle- March 28, 2013 at 7:18 am
So Rampage "be instructing" chicks on what to do when somebody "be humping' them without their consent now.....Are Joe Son & Lloyd Irvin going to be his assistants?
Mr_Misanthropy- March 28, 2013 at 1:19 am
Rape is actually just a way of saying, "I think you're neat."

Women need to learn to look at it as a compliment from people who are really bad at communicating with words.
El Guapo- March 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Vlade Divac... FTW!!

Crappieflopper, for the laymen.
Clyde- March 27, 2013 at 12:11 pm
I'm sure the plan is that Rampage will check that each attendant is indeed a woman before the seminar.

I'm more concerned with how well Rampage's style even at the top of his game of swinging big hooks, or picking up and slamming his opponents is really going to be practical self defense for most women or people in general. We all loved the powerbomb on Arona, but women who can pull it off are A) Few and far between and B) probably look scary enough that they can avoid trouble already.
El Famous Burrito- March 27, 2013 at 11:58 am
Lesson #1: Stank Breff
godspeed- March 27, 2013 at 11:08 am
Hes gonna b like marlon wayans in norbit. Tap tap tap tap tappity tap.
Clemmie- March 27, 2013 at 10:36 am
Well, at least the instructor has real world experience in the field.
The12ozCurls- March 27, 2013 at 9:47 am
BTW, where the hell is Fried Taco? Freddie - WHERE U AT?
crappiefloper- March 27, 2013 at 9:42 am
With special guest, Master Llyod Irvin
The12ozCurls- March 27, 2013 at 9:17 am
This is more like a speed-dating seminar for Rampage. He must be tired of going to the clubs and just wants the South Orange County cougars to come to him (and they WILL . . . . . whores).