(‘I think I know where you’re going wrong. Coloring or blow-drying too often can damage the strands and make your hair look weak and brittle. That’s why I recommend a hot-oil treatment once a week or so to give you that freshly-conditioned look, only without all the hassle. Okay, next question…’)

As we all know, MMA fighters have a limited set of options to help them rebound from a high-profile loss.  One is to change weight classes.  If you’re a fairly young fighter, you always want to go down in weight.  If you’re a little older, you might consider going up a division.  If that won’t work, and if you don’t have it in you to go out of your way in order to pick a fight with some punk that you know you can beat, your only other choice is to change gyms.

That’s what Clay Guida has apparently decided to do in advance of his UFC 107 scrap with Kenny Florian.  Guida is headed to the Greg Jackson camp in New Mexico, where he’ll most likely get top-notch training, a quick primer in nipple tweaks, and his own personal growth plan. 

Will all this make Guida a better fighter?  Probably.  I mean, how many guys can you name who went to Greg Jackson’s and saw their careers fall apart?  Joe Stevenson headed out there after losing to former Jackson camp fighter Diego Sanchez, and then he turned right around and beat Nate Diaz, who is for some reason now headlining a Spike TV Fight Night event after two straight losses (still baffling). 

But dammit, everybody can’t go train at Greg Jackson’s, especially if they adamantly refuse to fight one another.  What if the UFC wants to turn around and make a Guida/Stevenson fight after this?  What if it’s on the undercard of the Rashad Evans/Jon Jones fight that can’t happen now that Jones has also joined Jackson’s MMA?

If this keeps up, sooner or later Jackson’s MMA will have to face off against Xtreme Couture in a war for total unification of the nation’s fighters.  Maybe Keith Jardine will die leading a heroic charge on Tyson Griffin‘s house.  Maybe Georges St. Pierre will be captured by Forrest Griffin in a daring midnight raid and end up writing a surprisingly touching memoir about his time in captivity, entitled, "I Am Not Impressed With Your Internment Camp." 

Who knows.  The point is, someone needs to make their gym the new go-to destination for fighters in need of a change, and fast.  Personally, I’m hoping that the Hammer House steps up, which means somebody better go steal that punching bag back from Kevin Randleman.  There’s work to do, fellas.