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‘OneFC 8: Aoki vs. Boku’ Spoiler-Free Results + Videos: _______ Subs _______, _______’s Downward Spiral Continues


(Aoki vs. Boku, courtesy of Youtube user mike devro. Check it out before it gets taken down.)

______’s smothering grappling game was once again on display at OneFC 8, which transpired early this morning from the Singapore Indoor Stadium in Kallang, Singapore. Looking to exact some revenge for his fallen friend/training partner, ______, who was defeated by ______ back at OneFC 6, ______ utterly dominated the 20-8 _____ en route to a second round submission via _____-_____ choke. With the win, ______ secured the OneFC lightweight title, which will fit nicely on his mantle alongside his DREAM strap.

In the night’s co-main event, a UFC and WEC veteran whose name sounds a lot like Block Arsen survived some dicey moments to secure a decision victory over renowned kickboxer _____ ___hoef. Featuring some truly impressive, albeit sparse exchanges in the first two rounds, ______ was able to brave the storm and use his patented ground-n-pound game to work over the Dutchman, who was clearly gassed by the time things hit the third round.

Now, onto ______. In the past five years, we have seen the career of the former _FC lightweight champion go from the staggering lows of a five-fight losing streak in the WEC (with 4 of those coming by stoppage), to a 2-0 win streak over a couple of cans in smaller promotions, to the current 3-4 stretch that concluded with a second round loss via, you guessed it, submission, in the One FC Bantamweight Grand Prix ___finals this morning. We can’t really say anything about _____ that we haven’t already said; he’s a great guy and a once great fighter who shouldn’t still be fighting but is for the simplest of motivations: money. It could be a lot worse, but it still breaks our hearts to see him continue to drift in the bowels of mediocrity.

A video of the ______/______ fight and the full list of results are after the jump. 

Pulver vs. Ueda

Main Bouts:
-Shinya Aoki def. Kotetsu Boku by Submission (Rear Naked Choke) 2:01, R2
-Brock Larson def. Melvin Manhoef by Unanimous Decision, R3
-Masakatsu Ueda def. Jens Pulver by Submission (D’Arce Choke) at 3:52, R2
-Kevin Belingon def. Thanh Vu by TKO (Strikes) at 1:00, R2
-Eddie Ng def. Arnaud Lepont by Submission (Armbar) at 4:45, R2
-Leandro Issa def. Yusup Saddulaev by Unanimous Decision, R3
-Alex Silva def. Rene Catalan by Submission (Armbar) at 4:34, R1
-Bashir Ahmad def. Shannon Wiratchai by Unanimous Decision, R3

Preliminary Bouts:
-Jake Butler def. Swain Cangco by TKO (Strikes) at 2:52, R1
-Chen Yun Ting def. Ronald Low by TKO (Strikes) at 3:58, R1

-J. Jones

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2Dogs- April 7, 2013 at 2:00 am
well done Ueda also, couldve finished him sevel times by guiottine...
2Dogs- April 7, 2013 at 1:42 am
Congratulations Shinya, dominating preformance.
algiersheadkick504- April 6, 2013 at 6:29 pm
The rule set of the organization is true _____. This event was very _____. ______ the next event
Clyde- April 6, 2013 at 4:57 am
I think I've got it, but who won via penis-penis choke?
Fried Taco- April 5, 2013 at 2:53 pm
[Proper Noun]’s smothering [Style] game was once again on display at [Recent Fight Card], which transpired [Time of Day] from the [Venue] in [City], [State or Country]. Looking to exact some [Noun] for his fallen [Noun], [Proper Noun], who was defeated by [Proper Noun or Technique] back at OneFC 6, [Adverb] utterly dominated the 20-8 [Noun] en route to a second round submission via [Adverb]-[Technique] choke. With the win, [Proper Noun] secured the [Fight Promotion] [Weightclass] title, which will fit nicely on his [Noun] alongside his [Adjective] [Defunct Fight Promotion] [Noun].

In the [Time of Day]’s co-main event, a [Acronym] and [Acronym] veteran whose [Noun] sounds a lot like [Made Up Name], [Verb Past-tense] some dicey moments to secure a [Adjective] victory over renowned [Noun] [Proper Noun][Another name for a horse's foot] . Featuring some truly [Adjective], albeit [Adjective] exchanges in the first [Number] rounds, [Proper Noun] was able to [Verb] the [Noun] and use his patented [Boring Technique] game to work over the [Nationality], who was clearly [Verb Past-tense] by the time things hit the [Noun].

Now, onto [Pick any word]. In the past [Number] years, we have seen the career of the former [Acronym] [Weight Class] champion go from the [Adjective ending in "ing"] lows of a [Number]-fight losing streak in the [Acronym] (with [Number] of those coming by [Way to end a fight]), to a [Number]-0 win streak over a couple of [Another Name for Garbage Container] in [Adjective] promotions, to the current [Small Number]-[Bigger Number] stretch that concluded with a second round [Win, Loss, Draw, or Disqualification] via, you guessed it, [Technique], in the [Fight Promotion] [Weightclass] Grand Prix [Fraction] finals this morning. We can’t really say anything about [Noun or Proper Noun] that we haven’t already said; he’s a [Adjective] guy and a once great fighter who shouldn’t still be [Verbing] but is for the [Adjectivest] of motivations: [Any Word You Like]. It could be a lot [Adjective], but it still [Verbs] our hearts to see him continue to [Verb] in the [Disgusting Noun] of [Another Disgusting Noun].

A video of the [Adjective]/[Another Adjective] fight and the full list of [Nouns] are after the [Noun or Verb].
Mr_Misanthropy- April 5, 2013 at 3:34 pm
[Old Dad's] smothering [Taichi] was once again on display at [Tranny Fights 5] which transpired at [4am] from the [alley behind The Silverado gay bar] in [Portland] [Oregon]. Looking to extract some [semen] for his fallen [cum-patriot], [Old Dad], who was defeated via [flying snatch scissor] back at OneFC 6, [moistly] dominated the 20-8 [queen] en-route to a second round submission via [sloppy] [engorged Anaconda choke]. With the win [Old Dad] secured the [Bumfights] [Bitchweight] title, which will fit nicely on his [poop] alongside his [smelly] [Strikefarts] [buttplug].

Read it! Read it!
El Guapo- April 5, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Fuckin ____, whose name rhymes with jenga, writes like horse_____. Luckily for him, __ has went to horse____ ever since ___ ___ left so he doesn't stand out too much. By the way, whatever happened to ____ ____? I haven't heard from him since he wrote that article defending the chick that used to have a ____. Shim's name rhymes with Allen Cocks.
J.Jones- April 5, 2013 at 1:28 pm
*___ ovation*
SethF- April 5, 2013 at 1:23 pm
WTF CAGEPOTATO?! I WAS PLANNING ON WATCHING THIS EVENT NEXT WEEKEND, BUT YOU POSTED RESULTS SO NOW MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!!!!
abenormal- April 5, 2013 at 1:05 pm
lol awesome. I feel like BG made JJ write for me personally!

Now if we can just get the full TUF video back on Wednesday mornings and get Ben Fowlkes back to writing articles here, I'll be happy.
IronClad- April 5, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Hasn't Jens Pulver retired like 5 times? How does he still get fights?
Mr_Misanthropy- April 5, 2013 at 12:34 pm
WTF? No spoilers? You make me have to read the whole article?! I rely on you to stay informed about the world, man! Necesito notiacias internacionales del mundo! C'mon, man!!1!
bitteralex- April 5, 2013 at 12:33 pm
hey thanks! I was hoping for an informative recap of the event... instead I was treated to a complete clusterfuck of an article that's become the norm on cp
Mr_Misanthropy- April 5, 2013 at 12:35 pm
There is a cleverly disguised inside joke encoded within the text of the article.
Fried Taco- April 5, 2013 at 12:03 pm
Is this like a MadLib?
Mr_Misanthropy- April 5, 2013 at 12:37 pm
It's a contest. First person to fill in the blanks correctly gets an IOU for a Cagepotato Burpelaren.
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