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Outrageous News of the Day: Former ‘MMA Fighter’ Lights Self on Fire


(You see? People were doing this WAY before MMA was ever popular.)

*facepalm*

Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently a former MMA fighter named Harold Finger III (seriously) viciously assaulted a woman before setting himself on fire, nearly taking a six year old child with him in the process. This bizarre story comes to us courtesy of KTUU.com out of Anchorage, Alaska, whose “report” is so shockingly inept that we feel the need to post it verbatim:

A former mixed martial arts fighter set himself on fire on Tuesday night and faces assault charges for striking a woman, according to Anchorage Police.

Police said 28-year-old Harold Finger III lit himself on fire during a disturbance around 8:33 p.m. Tuesday. Officers found him badly burned at an apartment on the 200 block of N. Klevin Street.

According to witnesses, APD said Finger became angry while speaking on the phone with an acquaintance after getting out of jail for one week.

Police allege Finger then punched and kicked a 34-year-old woman in the face and head while wearing leather gloves with hard plastic knuckles. The victim and two other women living at the apartment took refuge in a bedroom with one of the women holding her 6-year-old son.

Finger said he was not going back to jail and took a can of Prestone starting fluid and doused the door frame and his upper body and then grabbed the child. The women were able to free the boy before Finger used a lighter to ignite himself, bursting into flames. One of the women extinguished the flames with a jacket.

Finger was taken to a local hospital for severe burns on his upper torso, face, and head. He faces charges of assault in the first and second degree and reckless endangerment with a no-bail warrant.

Anchorage Police said Finger will be served when he is physically able to be taken into custody.

First off, we haven’t been able to find one scrap of evidence that indicates Mr. Finger was ever any sort of MMA fighter, so why is he listed as such in this report, and in the HEADLINE nonetheless? Secondly, if a man is as unstable as Finger clearly was/is, what does his occupation have to do with the events that took place, especially considering that there is nothing to support the seemingly anonymous claim that he was a fighter of any kind, let alone an MMA fighter? This isn’t a story about a postman laying waste to his co-workers, this is a story of a kook trying to harm innocent lives that will now be used in anti-MMA arguments by the likes of Bob Reilly in the future. We may come under a bit of fire here at CP for our biases, but this story is nothing more than a ridiculous attempt to stir up controversy and deface a sport that had nothing to do with the actual incident being reported.

The frustration with such an obvious witch-hunt is seriously inhibiting my ability to formulate any sort of coherent argument, so I’ll let you do the talking for once, Potato Nation. What kind of bullshit is this?

-J. Jones

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philoebeddoe- February 2, 2012 at 7:02 am
@ RwilsonR - my god man you are funny.
Kimbo Lesnar- February 2, 2012 at 5:33 am
Well, no one will be making fun of his name anymore...
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- February 2, 2012 at 3:59 am
I'm just waiting for the Harry Finger prison diary CP articles

And why am I picturing Harold Howard while I'm reading the article?
RwilsonR- February 1, 2012 at 8:08 pm
@ sloppyspray - probably tactical or work gloves with plastic knuckles, no fight gloves.
RwilsonR- February 1, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Was it Nick Ring who was on fire, because that man is flamin'?
Todd M- February 1, 2012 at 7:02 pm
'The frustration with such an obvious witch-hunt is seriously inhibiting my ability to formulate any sort of coherent argument'. C'mon Danga even with a level head you have never formed a coherent argument. (Had to do it man, this J.Jones alias isn't getting enough hate and I'm afraid you will feel forgotten). PS You will always be Danga to me.
XENOPHON- February 1, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Spacing is fixed.



Now we get to read bit giant run-on posts, yeah.
+
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XENOPHON- February 1, 2012 at 5:30 pm
beef_kurtains - nice bit of sourcing. It would be nice to have a few others (too sensitive to name names) do some real work - and pick up a phone. If you can Google someones name, surely the editors could show their writers to do the same.
.
As for the kid and chicks...GRIN
WARBONG- February 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm
@TerryEtimFrozen- lol...he certainly is.
Pen Fifteen- February 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm
So if the writing on KTTU's website is "shockingly inept," does that make J. Jones the pot or the kettle?
scrambled eggs- February 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm
They've cleaned up the article now, and are claiming the MMA link was in the police report. They also say he was never registered as a fighter in the state.
TerryEtimFrozenNTime- February 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Harold Finger III is for real!
AndyInflammatory- February 1, 2012 at 2:48 pm
That shit wouldn't tickle.
Kid Clam Curtains- February 1, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I tried to think of a pun that included mma, prestone, fire and a finger but I got nothing.
Kurgarra u Galatur- February 1, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Did you hear that? Paul Varelans's stomach is growling.
2Dogs- February 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm
okay, this is news but is it something we wanna here..just cuz some guy in bumfuk idaho is associated with mma it deserves to be on this site...if this is the cp way of journalisum you might wanna catch up on mj's daughter not wanting to shake justin beibers hand...who wants to know this shit
Sloppyspray- February 1, 2012 at 2:20 pm
"...while wearing leather gloves with hard plastic knuckles..." are they referring to regular mma or boxing gloves and just don't know what they actually are and that there is no hard plastic but some shitty ones just look like plastic?
Daddy_jeffy- February 1, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Don't judge a man until you walk a mile...
You guys never had a bad day?
Viva Hate- February 1, 2012 at 2:03 pm
He faces charges eh, hard when he doesn’t have a face anymore wocka wocka.
beef_kurtains- February 1, 2012 at 1:50 pm
This news station is awesome. Under the "contact us" section, you can contact the news director, whose name is Tom. Yet his email address is "stevem@ktuu.com"

Well done KTUU, well done.

Tom Linder - News director
(907) 762-9235
stevem@ktuu.com
Fried Taco- February 1, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Great, now MMA will never be legalized in Alaska, and DW can kiss that planned UFC event goodbye.
mando97- February 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Cocaines a hellova drug!!!!
The12ozCurls- February 1, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Former BARTENDER Lights Self on Fire
Former TRUCK DRIVER Lights Self on Fire
Former CARPENTER Lights Self on Fire
-
This is utter and complete dogshit and the word "WITCHHUNT" is absolutely perfect. But you gotta admit, using the "MMA FIGHTER" angle is way sexier and I am sure the news station wants the best ratings it can get. So some suit station manager ran with it.
Me likey- February 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm
the guy probably had about 3 ammy fights and trained with his buddies. it was probably his hobby. i don't see reports that say "weekend pickup basketball player shoots 2".
@BarackODrama907 i would have just let the meth comment go. the glue sniffing problem sounds worse than having a meth problem.
Jason Moles- February 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm
When did Jon Jones start writing for CP?
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