Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Party Like a Potato

(I know, Joe.  I have the same reaction when I get too close to the Cage Potato logo.)

It’s hard to be the Cage Potato sometimes.  Partying with MMA royalty like Forrest Griffin and Urijah Faber.  Drinking for free at an open bar while chicks in bikinis gyrate beneath a giant flashing sign that says “SEXY.”  Giving out free Hall of Fame t-shirts to the pleading masses.  Oh, wait a minute.  That isn’t hard.  That was just my Friday night.

If you can’t tell from the above paragraph, last night’s Fight Magazine/Cage Potato VIP Party was a complete success.  I arrived with an all-star blogging crew that featured Fightlinker’s Ryan Harkness and MMA Frenzy’s Kris Karkoski precisely at 8:30 pm.  It might seem a little lame of us to show up exactly when the party was scheduled to start, but in our defense: a) that’s when the open bar started, and b) Joe Stevenson had already been there for ten minutes by then.  That’s right, “Daddy” knows how to party.

What surprised me most when I made the rounds wearing my Cage Potato t-shirt at the Sugar Bar last night was that not only did tons of people come up to me and tell me they’re avid readers of the site, but that one of them was this guy.

(Eddie Bravo took this photo.  There seemed to be some flash issues, but I don’t blame Eddie.)

That’s right, Bruce motherfucking Buffer is a member of the Potato Nation.  He reads the site regularly, so doubtless he’s already aware of our love for The Buffer Turn.  Just in case he wasn’t, though, I went ahead and told him again last night.  At length.  And since now we know that the Buff is one of our loyal readers, I’d like to pause for a moment and address him here.  If you’re not Bruce Buffer, this might be a good time to go get a snack or something:

[Hey Bruce.  ‘Sup.  Great work MC’ing the ring girl contest last night.  Could you do us a favor?  How about tonight, during the introductions for one of the fights, could you look at the camera and give the Potato Nation a wink, just to say hi?  It doesn’t have to be during the main event.  Maybe the Pete Sell/Matt Brown fight.  What do you think, too unprofessional?  Yeah, you’re right.  Forget it.  Unless you don’t want to forget it…]

Welcome back.  Anyway, our party drew an enormous crowd last night, to the point where it got a little uncomfortable.  It’s especially difficult to navigate a sea of sweaty people while holding a giant cardboard box full of t-shirts, but I just walked behind a girl who looked like she was going throw up and it was amazing how people cleared a path.  I took this picture to demonstrate how packed the place was, then I realized this morning that I had captured a certain Brazilian fighter having one hell of a time.

(Can you spot Babalu?)

I also got to meet loyal Cage Potato readers Carious Lesions (good luck with dental school, by the way) and Vrax, who got this charming photo of himself with Jay Hieron.

(Oh, is that a Cage Potato logo in the background.  Weird.  How’d that end up in this picture?)

By the time the night was over, we all had a great time and drank way too much.  Especially Ryan from Fightlinker, who disappeared early on and then sent me a series of incoherent text messages trying, without success, to explain where he was.  I assume he is dead, or at least woke up this morning in a parking lot.  As for me, I just woke up wishing I was dead.

If you need me between now and fight time, I’ll be napping in my hotel room and watching "Georgia Rule" on HBO.  Oh, Lindsay Lohan.  You minx, you.

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

Sort by : Show hidden comments
UFC fan- March 8, 2009 at 8:28 pm
must be a tradition in your tribe eh boys?
sorry we don't do that where I come from, but feel free to fuck each other in the eyehole...or any other hole you prefer.
tardface- March 7, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Purplepickle, a railroad spike would just not do the work i believe.
PurplePickle- March 7, 2009 at 6:58 pm
UFC fan is right, it is easy to get off topic by being a smartass. Cage Potato is the absolute best MMA site with the best fucking humor bar none. Kudos CP. And Bruce Buffer is a cool ass mofo.

Now go fuck your eyehole with a railroad spike, UFC fan.
Krazy Kracker- March 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm
That picture of Stevenson was taken immediately after someone told him kicking was allowed in mma.
Anonymous- March 7, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Ha ha sounds like good times, way to represent CP! Now lets get ready to see the barncat
JaviG- March 7, 2009 at 3:29 pm
UFC fan- March 7, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Its so good the majority of you assclowns can hijack the topic and make it your own instead of staying on target and discussing the fact that "the potato" got mad coverage, and how cool it is that Ben was there, and how cool it is that the BUff-man is a fan. Stay classy Mr Buffer.
And I will be watching tonight please do give us all a wink hello to the rest of us cage potato fans who care.

A big shout out to the Ben's, good job, it never gets said enough, everything is appreciated. It is cool having this place to read all the cool UFC stuff.
PurplePickle- March 7, 2009 at 1:48 pm
That party looks cool as shit, but seeing as how I am about 12-18 months away from regular AA meetings, it probaly is not my scene. I can typically pound twenty beers in an evening, and I can only imagine the consecutive ass whippings I would accumulate after my drunken jackass level began to rise. Or more than likely one very severe hospitalizing ass whipping. Maybe I should go pour some Wild Turkey and rewatch Bas Rutten's Lethal Street Fighting DVD.
Dmonicideals- March 7, 2009 at 1:42 pm
It's not a real party until the fire department get called. Everyone knows that.
TheRandomKnowledgableGuy- March 7, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Amsterdam... Red Light District... Legalized prostitution... Obviously she is a carrier hahah
Frank Mur- March 7, 2009 at 11:59 am
*Douchey McDoucherton Says:
I heard Scott Blevin was at this party handing out free ass whoopings.*

Correction: Blevins was seen in the parking lot in a white mini van with tints offerring to watch the attendees children whilst they partied the night away.
PurplePickle- March 7, 2009 at 11:55 am
Careful KnowledgableGuy, what you don't see outside of the frame of that photo is that is Gilbert Yvel's girlfriend. As we know,he will kick the shit out of non combatants in an Amsterdam minute. Actual sanctioned opponents, not so much.
mma-pro- March 7, 2009 at 11:45 am
war machine i thought you only go to gay bars anyway
Douchey McDoucherton- March 7, 2009 at 11:19 am
I heard Scott Blevin was at this party handing out free ass whoopings.
ben- March 7, 2009 at 11:16 am
@ KneeToTheFace:So *you* update it, you lazy doof.  What do you think a wiki is for?
TheRandomKnowledgableGuy- March 7, 2009 at 11:04 am
the scientific term for what you are talkin about PurplePickle is Ghonaherpasyphalaids... the chubby chick with the scarf on the left obviously is a carrier
WAR MACHINE- March 7, 2009 at 10:56 am
PurplePickle- March 7, 2009 at 10:53 am
A large sweaty crowd of drunken whores and drunken fighters is probably ground zero for a pandemic of some mutant strain of staph/herpes/clap that will kill one third of the human race within a decade. That's fucking awesome.
KneeToTheFace- March 7, 2009 at 10:39 am
The wiki entries are like 6 months behind. Has Faber at 21-1.
snicket916- March 7, 2009 at 10:35 am
nice floating fist faggot. real original
Dizzlefizz- March 7, 2009 at 10:31 am
I'm a reporter myself here in Denmark and I LOVE the way you write your stories. Just wish to God that MMA would go mainstream here soon, so that I could become sort of a "CP-liason" and spread to the masses. (Well theres only 6 million of us, but you get the idea)
Rault- March 7, 2009 at 10:27 am
Is it sad if I wish I was as cool as you guys? Well I don't. Unless you want me to....
Mantooth- March 7, 2009 at 10:19 am
I wish you would have snapped a couple of those girls you were talking about...the one pic looked like it was a sausage fest.
Anonymous- March 7, 2009 at 10:07 am
Are you Henry Rollins' little brother?
JiMMA- March 7, 2009 at 9:54 am
Hahaha, CP, you rule