(The best part of having a million dollar bill on your person at all times? No more ATM fees.)

By DL Richardson

File it under “W” for “We Knew This Shit Would Happen”: GracieMag.com is reporting that Pride standout turned crazy man Paulo Filho will not be able to compete at next week’s Bellator 18 show. Filho was scheduled to face current Bellator middleweight champ Hector Lombard in a non-title SuperFight, which was, on paper at least, an intriguing matchup — much more compelling than last night’s Alvarez-Neer spanking. Filho, who lists his turn-ons as “Pitbulls, tattoos, and tattoos of pitbulls,” told GracieMag that some kind of administrative snafu was to blame for his failure to secure a visa: “It seems the event took too long in sending out the letter I needed to present at the consulate and I’m not sure but it could be there was some kind of failure on the part of my managers. So, I won’t get my visa in time.”

Now, the Bellator guys have done a remarkable job of reacting to fighter travel problems once already this season: When the Icelandic volcano apocalypse prevented welterweight “Judo” Jim Wallhead from traveling to the US to participate in the tournament, Rebney quickly substituted Ryan Thomas, who’d lost by a controversial referee stoppage to Ben Askren. Ryan Thomas won, setting up a rematch with Askren in the semifinals. Whether they’ll be able to work similar magic this quickly remains to be seen, but if they manage to pull a good replacement out of their asses, it will rival anything Toby Imada does for “Submission of the Year.”