Vampires: Old and Busted.
Werewolves: New Hotness?
According to ScreenJunkies, music video director Sxv’leithan Essex [sic] is teaming up with the producer of Rise of the Silver Surfer to bring us Growl, a story about an underground MMA fight club hunted by a family of werewolves. It’s like Fighting meets The Lost Boys meets My God This Movie Is Going to Be Terrible. Here’s the synopsis, via ShockTillYouDrop:
Well sure, Mr. Lost Boy himself being a part of the production is cool and all, but does anyone else notice that the shadowy figure in the poster image on the right bears a striking resemblance to the New York Badass? We’ll let you know if Baroni can take a break from training for Amir Sadollah and beating up nerds long enough to confirm our suspicions.
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Comments
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:39
I didn't think it was possible to make a movie that was worse than "Never Surrender, " but obviously I was wrong.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:52
Guido werewolves? They'd spend so much time applying hair gel to their entire body, that it'd be daylight again before they went anywhere. I'm not too worried.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:55
The only cool wolves are on the "Three Wolf Moon" t-shirt.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:56
Dumb.......I'll give it a chance if Keifer Sutherland is in it though.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:59
I guess they wanted someone who had experience in rapidly becoming stronger and more muscular via unnatural means. My advice for his potential victims is to just run... he won't keep up for long.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:04
LOL, well done, agentsmith. If that's not Comment of the Week material right there, I don't know what is.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:09
Where true werewolves can be killed with wolfsbane and/or silver, you can take out a Wereguido with literature, sobriety, and a kick to the steroid-atrophied nards.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:13
^ Win.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:16
Wereguido has nards!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:17
The concept of a Were-guido has comedy gold written all over it.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:31
BEST.MOVIE.EVA.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:34
This could be the best movie since Gigli! Maybe they can get Paris Hilton some sort of cameo. Will the Wereguidos have a full body blow out hair cut? Will they still wear Ed Hardy shirts? How will the grills fit Wereguido teeth? Im curious to see this. Hey look at Johnny Fucking Werewolf ova hea!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:46
Hey, stunod! Get da fuck ova hea and do a Jager Bomb wit me ya hairy fuckin' mook!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:47
I won't believe it until I read it in The Sun.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 08:50
To stalk a Wereguido, all you have to do is set a trap with spray tanning bottles, Axe body spray, and Jaegerbombs. They respond quite aggressively to calls of "Check out the rack on that skank," "There's a lotta hot bitches here," and most importantly, "Top shelf open bar all night." Play some obnoxiously loud and played out house music for maximum effect.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:04
lol@Seoul Brother.... a part of me just died inside! Also, Wereguidos aren't only dispatched with wooden spikes and garlic, they are notoriously susceptible to anyone with a half assed ground game.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:06
Someone PLEASE add "Wereguido" to Baronis wiki page!!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:17
Looks like Showtime is gonna have some more MMA programming for it's subscribers (give or take a month after the release of this crapfest).
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:26
@NateGetsIrate: If this corn-studded cinematic loaf of poo has lots of titties and ass, then Cinemax may bid for it. They should get Edith Labelle to show her fake udders in this.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:29
How can you tell if a Wereguidette has fake boobs? They don't grow any hair out of them.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:35
@ El Famous Burrito: Phil Baroni's mother knows differently.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:50
Dude, I would totally motor boat Edith's were- tata's!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 09:58
^LOL God, I love this article. Comedy freakin' gold.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:18
Please, check out Baroni's wikipedia page quickly!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:21
LOL @ Viva Hate! Nice job!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:24
PHEW! I was hoping someone saw it before it gets deleted. I am must see this movie just for the idea of a wereguido.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:40
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome job, man. I got a screen capture of that wiki page for The Hall of Fame :)
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:49
HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA is the only comment this thread is worth.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:51
It's pronounced guh-ROW-el.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:52
I added something extra thanks to agent smiths comment this won't last long, so enjoy it guys
Wed, 09/09/09 - 10:56
@Terminator, BRILLIANT! 1/2 Wereolf + 1/2 Guido= Feel good movie of the summer.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 11:16
I actually DID some research before posting and the one with the guy who "looks" like Baroni was a early poster design on his MySpace Page, the other one is the "official" release. There's no mention of Phil Baroni being looked at and if he was, he probably would have been on the official poster don't you think? And I don't think that's Phil Baroni, the guy on the poster looks to thin. Same Guido-like face but they are a dime a dozen. Hopefully, this movie kicks ass, but that remains to be seen.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 11:17
Well played all around. Let's give ourselves a hand.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 11:31
LOL Excellent wiki work, the both of you. Seriously, I don't care what the real story is, these were-guido comments are cracking me up today.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 11:47
I am now obessed with the term wereguido, it is cracking me up as well. Anyone feel like a google bomb of wereguido at 3:30PM EST, wereguido in google treands could be amazing.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 11:50
I'm sure it's a mis-print on the poster and it should say "the last sound you'll evah here" I think I will follow my usual M.O. for movies featuring MMA fighters, regardless of whether I like them or not; download them and then regret it, but not as much as I would if I'd paid money for that shit.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:16
@ El Famous Burrito You Sir, are on fire.....Wereguido...I will never look at Phil Bologna the same. He is the best Werewolf Eva!!!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:21
So nobody liked Never Surrender? Cuz by the end of the movie I was convinced kids from white, upper-class high schools in Florida were bad ass. But, seriously, it made me wonder if Florida has a bigger MMA scene than Orange County. Anyone (think they) know?
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:25
I don't see it on his wiki page?
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:26
I gotta give Seoul Brother his props for first combining the terms Guido and werewolf into the word of the day: Wereguido. Heh heh, it still cracks me up.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:35
It's still on wikipedia. Its near the bottom, above his fight record, under the heading Personal Life.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 12:59
Awesome lads....classic! "Baroni will be appearing in the movie Growl, a werewolf style movie due to begin filming in 2010 for a 2011 release. His role has been revealed as a Wereguido due to his experience in rapidly becoming stronger and more muscular via unnatural means. Further information is due to be released soon."
Wed, 09/09/09 - 01:00
@ El Famous Burrito: To quote The King, "Thangyuh. Thangyuhvurrahmuch."
Wed, 09/09/09 - 01:43
you guys are awesome!. I don't think I ever laughed this hard from reading comments. Now if we can only get Baroni to change his nickname to Wereguido and have Buffer say it. My head would explode.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 02:58
Seoul Brother and El Famous Burrito Get off the fucking computer
Wed, 09/09/09 - 03:26
^ FYI, everything after 36 Chambers sucks.
Wed, 09/09/09 - 04:07
"FYI" you're a filthy twat waffle Now go back to listening to your cum stained Jonas Brothers CD you douchefuck WU REVOLUTION
Wed, 09/09/09 - 06:38
Say hello to 1993 for me, loser!
Wed, 09/09/09 - 07:29
Ill do that -clicks play on Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2- Get updated faggot
Thu, 09/10/09 - 05:33
I'm guessing Phil checked out his Wikipedia page, because the comment about being cast as a Wereguido is gone. And WuTangClan, I didn't think that the Chef could outdo Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, but goddamn, the new album is fuckin' hot.
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