(Cocaine really is a hell of a drug. It makes you do some crazy things.)

Get your surprised faces ready. 

Remember the gargantuan tranny-looking lady "friend" of Ricky Hatton who came out a few weeks ago to reveal that "The Hitman" had a cocaine problem because she was concerned for his well-being?

Well, it turns out her concern stemmed not from the fact that Ricky bumped a few lines here and there, it was due to the fact that Hatton wasn’t going to be snorting his coke off of her hotel room toilet any more before he banged her as he recently broke off an 11-month relationship he allegedly had with the Irish female boxing champ.

According to jilted lover and probable post-op, Emma Bowe, she went out of her way to meet Hatton, whom she had idolized for many years, while he was in Ireland in October and was thrilled when Ricky was receptive to her advances.


"He was in a tracksuit and a cap and didn’t look sexy, but my heart still leapt when I saw him. There were hundreds around so I just sat in the bar. Minutes later, he walked in and ordered a Guinness. I plucked up the courage to introduce myself and told him I was a boxer. He was polite and I had a picture taken with him. He kept staring at me and when I got up to go, he asked if I wanted to meet later. He grinned, ‘I’ll look better when you get back. Nice and dapper’.When I went to bed with Ricky, it was like my dreams had come true," Emma, 29, said. "He was my idol and I couldn’t believe he wanted to be with me. I knew about Jennifer and how she was his fiancée, but I was just so flattered Ricky was interested in me," it explained. "We had a wild time together. He’d snort cocaine before sex, then want to cuddle up afterwards and watch a love film. I saw a side to Ricky people don’t see. He’s kind and gentle. He’s like a teddy bear – and I fell hopelessly in love. Ricky’s my favourite boxer and I’d go out of my way to see his fights. My dad and I would buy them on pay-per-view and get up at 3am to watch his US fights. When he lost to Manny Pacquiao (in May last year), I cried my eyes out."

In a video shot by the UK Mirror — England’s equivalent of the National Enquirer which reportedly pays in the five to six figure range for exclusive celebrity scandal stories — Bowe says in a very masculine voice that she never wanted news of the affair to get out, which is curious considering she was the one who came to the gossip rag with the story in the first place.

She says that Hatton wasn’t concerned with the affair being uncovered.

"People were taking pictures. I said, ‘Ricky, we should be careful’… but he didn’t care. It was like Ricky wanted to be caught. I did think about Jennifer and was in two minds. I felt bad because I’d hate to be cheated on. But when he kissed me, I didn’t want it to end. After we had sex, I was in the bathroom and he came up behind me, gave me a hug and rested his head on my shoulders. He said, ‘You are a gorgeous girl, I’m so glad I met you’. I felt like the luckiest girl alive."

So let me get this right. "She" was standing up taking a piss and Ricky came in and gave "her" a hug? Interesting. Maybe that’s why he broke off the affair.

One other curious detail of the story (besides the fact that she taped Ricky snorting coke before he broke up with her) that raises suspicions that she may have set Hatton up is the fact that she took a series of CSI-type photos of Hatton and his identifying marks in case anyone questioned the authenticity of her story. 

"Emma has photos of a naked Hatton sprawled on the bed, covered partly by a duvet, during the three-day romp. And she has photos of the tattoo on his back, reading: "Hitman … Pride in Battle"." 

In a bullshit prepared statement, the bitch heartfelt statement, Bowe expressed her concern for her lost sugardaddy former lover.

"I am worried for him, but this could be the wake-up call Ricky needs.
"I love him to bits and am devastated it’s all over. I adore him and I just want to see him get clean."

Translation: "I didn’t have an issue with him doing coke when he was dinging me in a hotel room, but when he broke it off it became an issue. I wanted him to take care of me financially and if he doesn’t want me, nobody will have him. I’m hoping his fiancee will dump him and he’ll come crawling back into my huge man arms."

Hatton blamed the binge drinking and coke use on his inability to cope with retirement, which is somewhat odd considering he hasn’t retired. I’m thinking it has more to do with the fact that he couldn’t cope with the fact that he had sex with a giant.

“I am currently in the Priory [clinic] dealing with depression due to the fact that I have not been able to cope with my retirement from boxing,” Hatton, 31, told the News of the World tabloid last week. “I have been binge drinking heavily and dabbling in other daft and silly things. But it will be the toughest fight of my life and I am here to win it.”

Here’s a clip of Bowe talking about their affair: