(‘Old and veiny. That’s how I roll.’)

In an interview with Gary Herman of 15rounds.com Ken Shamrock reiterates his desire to knock Kimbo Slice unconscious and then shave his beard (are the lines between pro wrestling and “the MMA” blurring for Ken in his old age?), and also offers this assessment of his game plan going into the bout on Saturday:

“If all goes well, I’ll get a win in the first round. I can handle him anywhere – stand-up or on the ground. I’m not going to force anything. If it’s there, I’m going to take it. If he leaves his face open, I’m going to punch it. If he gives me a leg, I’ll take that.”

A genius master plan it ain’t, but at least he’s going in there with something. Not to be outdone, Kimbo had this to say about his preparation for the fight, then added a word of advice for Shamrock:

“I daydream about the fights, man. This (expletive) is in my head. I see it over and over and over again. I don’t think about sex, I don’t think about smokin’, I don’t think about drinking. I think about the guy I’m fighting, I think about my opponent. That’s all I think about.

[...]

“Come into this cage and fight like a lion, rather than die like a pussy.”

Well, okay, two different rhetorical styles there but…wait a minute. Did Kimbo just suggest that Ken Shamrock might “die like a pussy” in their fight? I understand the “fight like a lion” part. Did he mean ‘lose like a pussy’? Then again, ‘pussy’ isn’t exactly the opposite of ‘lion.’ How about ‘lose like a lamb’?

All right, long story short, parallel sentence structure isn’t Kimbo’s strong suit. But either way let’s not go around talking about Ken Shamrock dying in the cage on Saturday, okay Kimbo? The guy’s getting on in years as it is, his cholesterol is probably a concern, and just think about how bad you’ll feel if he really does die. You don’t want that hanging over your head.