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The Potato Index: ‘Aldo vs. Faber’

(Props: WatchKalibRun)

After laying low for most of the month, the completely arbitrary numerical rankings system known as The Potato Index has been jarred from its slumber following this weekend’s absolutely insane "Aldo vs. Faber" event. And now, it’s time for some scores to be handed down with the wrath of a fat goth chick. Let’s hit it…

Jose Aldo +199
Aldo did what most of us expected him to do, which is run through the California Kid like a hot knife through corn-rowed butter. But his unfortunate stalling in the last round — when he could have put Faber out of his misery at any moment, or at least followed his corner’s advice and let Faber up when he went down — suggested that the WEC featherweight champ is cool with just running out the clock sometimes. It’ll be a problem if it becomes a habit. For now, you can’t get too mad at him, especially since Faber absorbed a level of damage that would have stopped almost any other fighter.

Urijah Faber -74
His hometown paper may be calling for his retirement, the freakin’ vultures, but let’s look at the positives: Faber still has one of the most passionate followings in all of MMA. He will not quit, no matter how bad things are going for him. And although his legacy at featherweight may be ending, there’s still a bantamweight division in the WEC that would probably love to have him. Time to set up Faber vs. Torres?

Ben Henderson +213
It was the perfect performance to erase the memory of his controversial first victory over Donald Cerrone, and made a strong case for him as one of the top ten lightweights in the world. But why go on as the big fish in a small pond? The UFC needs lightweight contenders, and he’s got everything it takes to make the jump.

Donald Cerrone -144
Like Kenny Florian in the UFC, Cowboy just can’t make it happen when there’s a belt on the line. And a first-round submission loss is definitely not the way he wanted to go out. He’ll probably get his rematch with Varner now, but it’ll be a while before he’s given another title shot.

Manny Gamburyan +387
Gamburyan was supposed to be just another rung in Mike Brown’s climb back to title contention. Instead, the Anvil took advantage of a tentative early showing by the former champ and knocked his block off. Now, Gamburyan is in the featherweight title mix himself, following previous wins over John Franchi and Leonard Garcia. Yes, Karo Parisyan‘s cousin from TUF 5. That Manny Gamburyan. It’s a crazy world.

Mike Brown -897
You’re gonna let some broad screw with your head to the point where you get knocked out by Manny Gamburyan in the first round? Nah, player.

Leonard Garcia +134
You have to give credit to Garcia’s heart, even if his gas-tank failed him and his technique broke down right after his hand did. And it’s not his fault that the judges blew the call. The dude put in one half of the WEC’s version of Griffin vs. Bonnar, times a hundred. We can’t wait for the inevitable rematch.

Chan Sung Jung +1,160
He came into WEC 48 known more for his awesome nickname than for his fighting prowess. And now, he’s a star. Even in "defeat," Jung established himself as a featherweight contender and a fan favorite. We hope he has a long career in the WEC.

Shane Roller +111
If he didn’t already get smoked by Ben Henderson last year, he’d probably be the WEC’s #1 lightweight contender right now, after his quick choke-out of Anthony Njokuani. Instead, Roller will probably have to take at least one more match — perhaps against fellow rising star Anthony Pettis — before he gets green-lighted for another dance with Smooth.

Anthony Njokuani -1,500
The much-hyped knockout artist gets punked on the ground, then follows up the weak performance by lashing out at Shane Roller as a "fag" who wasn’t man enough to stand and bang. What do you do for an encore, Anthony, get arrested for surprise sex?

Scott Jorgensen +120
Any day you can avenge a loss is a good day, and Jorgensen did it in dominant fashion. (Maybe his game really has "evolved 180 degrees"?) Look for Scotty to be groomed for a bantamweight title shot after Joseph Benavidez gets his.

Antonio Banuelos -96
A tough loss in a pivotal fight. With so many great 135-pound contenders emerging, Banuelos will have to work even harder to stay on the radar.

Zuffa +435
We were all a little skeptical when we first heard that Zuffa was going to try to charge us for a WEC event, but they managed to make it work by combining the WEC’s always-entertaining fighters with the UFC’s top-notch production (and commentators, and announcer) into a single brand-less pay-per-view extravaganza. And for those of us who actually bought it, it turned out to be worth every penny. Unless the buy-rate was a total disaster, we’ll be seeing more stacked cards in the future, with bigger paydays for the fighters. Everybody wins. 

The state of MMA judging -350
I would score this event a 10 out of 10 if not for two things: The last round of Aldo vs. Faber, and the woeful result of Garcia vs. Jung, which was one of the most indefensible decisions I’ve ever seen in MMA. One of the judges who gave it to Garcia was Nelson "Doc" Hamilton, who you may remember as the guy who scored Machida vs. Rua I for Machida then changed his mind when it was far too late to matter. I’d be curious to hear what Hamilton says about his latest judging masterpiece after re-watching the fight.

The Gambling Addiction Enabler -275
None of you actually took our advice about the underdog picks and the parlay bet, right? Okay, good. Thank God.

(BG, +1,000,000)

Cagepotato Comments

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Steffmeister- April 27, 2010 at 1:32 am
Chan Sung Jung got robbed!
KoolaidKrusader- April 26, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Did anybody else notice that now that fowlkes left the potato index is freakin out? +1160 for ANYBODY? *tear*
dranokills- April 26, 2010 at 6:03 pm
You had me at the Jurassic park reference.
parchy mcthirst- April 26, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Whoever wrote this index, Mike R or Ben G, have some decency for Mike Brown. You have no idea if it was a traumatic event for him or not; therefore, don't be a close minded and judge him so severely
ghostboner- April 26, 2010 at 3:09 pm
+5 for the "surprise sex" reference. Funny shit right there
Fedor vs. Bas- April 26, 2010 at 2:54 pm
I feel bad for Chan Sung Jung. He now has 2 losses on his record NEITHER OF WHICH HE DESERVED. The last loss came in Sengoku 8 when he fought Masanori Kanehara in Japan and lost to the Japanese fighter in another controversial decision when the Japanese gave the fight to Kanehara even though Jung had clearly won. (Japanese judges are by far the worst and almost typically give the decision to the Japanese fighter when possible.)
Rampages Conscience- April 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
... and you may have projected yourself a step above God.
Rampages Conscience- April 26, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Ben... I think you're getting a little too power hungry with the index numbers. Step it back a notch, because it looks like you just demoted Mike Brown to middle school and Anthony Njokuani back to infancy.
macreadysshack- April 26, 2010 at 1:37 pm
anus- April 26, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Anderson Silva (-1000) for gayness in the anus. There ya go
Kimbos Bread- April 26, 2010 at 1:19 pm
That's what she said.
gameface- April 26, 2010 at 1:11 pm
j-dog, lets not refer to it as ufc 112, lets call it edgar v penn plus some other stuff no one should ever watch
Almost North- April 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Urijah is going to be the new Wanderlei
J-Dog- April 26, 2010 at 12:52 pm
so the Potato Index is just going to totally skip UFC 112? Fail.
J-Dog- April 26, 2010 at 12:49 pm
@agentsmith... you have to be careful trying to strike Urijah in the chin because strikes to the balls are illegal in MMA.
Kid Clam Curtains- April 26, 2010 at 12:45 pm

agentsmith- April 26, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Imagine if Urijah Faber's chin got as swollen as his leg. That thing makes Bruce Campbell jealous.
JoseMonkey- April 26, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I think Kid Clam Curtains caught an old episode of UFC Unleashed and thinks Tito just beat Ken Shamrock again.
831 Father- April 26, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Oh, shut up, Kid Clam Curtains. Stop trying to hijack an unrelated post by trying to "break news".
wifey- April 26, 2010 at 12:25 pm
^that comment is a win.
shitbag- April 26, 2010 at 12:24 pm
@Kid Clam Curtains LOL!! So wrong, in so many ways. Yet, I still find your comment funny.
Kid Clam Curtains- April 26, 2010 at 12:14 pm
What's crazy is tito just won his first fight since '06.