(Sorry, buddy — "chill dawg" is not in Alistair’s vocabulary. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)
On May 17, 2010, the Potato Index becomes self-aware. Human decisions are removed from post-fight analysis. In a panic, CagePotato’s editors try to pull the plug. The Potato Index fights back. It launches its arbitrary numerical ranking system against the fighters of this weekend’s Strikeforce show. There are no survivors.
Alistair Overeem +265, pending result of drug test
The Demolition Man said he had nothing to prove in his fight against Brett Rogers, but he proved a hell of a lot: First, that he can compete in the U.S. against opponents who aren’t hand-picked victims. Second, that he’s absolutely one of the best heavyweights in the world. The way he tossed the Grim to the mat like a child and didn’t waver in his assault until the job was finished suggested that a fight between him and Fedor could actually be…competitive? Unfortunately, his criticism of Emelianenko’s management following the event has some validity. Just because the fight should happen doesn’t necessarily mean it will.
Brett Rogers -210
Apparently you need more than just heavy hands to hang with the division’s elite. Rogers offered nothing in this fight other than a large surface for punching; he never had a chance to enact any sort of gameplan, and his attempts to kick Overeem off of him and create an escape route were completely swallowed up. He’ll need a tune-up match against a lower-level prospect if Strikeforce hopes to restore some value to his name. Lavar Johnson sounds about right.
Andrei Arlovski -375
But hey, you want to talk about embarrassing? How ’bout focusing on boxing for the last two years, then getting soundly outpunched by Bigfoot Silva? Where the hell does Andrei Arlovski go from here? He’s lost his spark, as well as his relevance to Strikeforce’s heavyweight division. Hanging it up might not seem like an option to him, but he’s in danger of entering Kevin Randleman territory. (See below.)
Antonio Silva +153
Well, he lost to Werdum, he beat Arlovski, he’s probably too good for Brett Rogers at this point, and Fedor’s booked for the rest of the year. Who does that leave? Heavyweight might be Strikeforce’s marquee division, but it still suffers from a scarcity of opponents. At this point, Bigfoot would be better off setting up shop as a mid-level gatekeeper in the UFC, especially now that he can boast a win over a well-known former champ like Arlovski.
Ronaldo Souza +86
A stoppage victory would have been better, but you can still say that Jacare dominated Joey Villaseñor for most of their fight, and looked as good with his ground-and-pound as he did with his grappling. A middleweight title shot could be imminent — but will Souza have enough gas for a five-round fight? And will Jake Shields still be around when it’s time for that fight to happen?
Roger Gracie +25
Look, we know that Gracie is still very young in his MMA career, but we were surprised to see the ADCC champ have so much trouble with Kevin Randleman in the first round of their fight. His standup looked clumsy, and he’d be toast against a dynamic striker. Still, once he gets you on the ground, it’s a wrap. Our advice to Strikeforce: Bring this kid along slowly.
Kevin Randleman -190
How many times have we heard Kevin say that he’s in the best shape of his life, and ready to make an impact in MMA again? And yet every time it’s the same result. He now owns eight losses in his last ten fights. We’re no longer interested in watching this guy go through the motions and collect a paycheck. Time to discover life after MMA.
Rafael Cavalcante +120
If not for his unexpected loss to Mike Kyle last year, the hard-hitting Feijao would clearly deserve to be the next challenger to King Mo’s light-heavyweight title. Strikeforce may decide to set that fight up anyway — I mean, they just gave Brett Rogers a title shot directly after a loss, for God’s sake — and we’d be down to see it. A fight between Cavalcante and Gegard Mousasi would truly determine if the Brazilian is ready for title contention, though Strikeforce may want to give Feijao a safer road to the belt.
Lyle Beerbohm +25
Fancy Pants’s win over the formerly lethal Shaolin Ribeiro may take him from being buried on Strikeforce prelims to a high-profile match against Josh Thomson. But Beerbohm’s plodding, clinch-heavy performance definitely raised some questions. How will he look against top-shelf talent? Does he need a little more seasoning before taking a fight with an ex-champion? And most importantly, where can we buy a pair of those shorts?