(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)
It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help. It’s like the stock market, only dumber.
Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique. And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist. But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion. Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?
Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory. But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it. Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.
Frank Mir -82
He had no answer for Lesnar’s takedowns or ground-and-pound. He took his beating like a man, but that’s not exactly a recipe for success or career longevity.
Georges St. Pierre +148
GSP dominated his toughest challenger to date in every facet of the fight. He also fought the last two rounds with an injured groin, which can’t be fun. To top it all off, he acted like a sportsman and a gentleman afterwards. Is there anyone at 170 who can give him a fight right now?
Thiago Alves -38
He showed tremendous heart and he never gave up. That said, if you can’t stop GSP’s takedowns you don’t stand much of a chance. He’s still young and there’s time yet to develop his wrestling skills. If he doesn’t he might have a long wait before GSP retires or moves on.
Dan Henderson +63
Huge KO adds to his highlight reel, but we could have done without the cringe-worthy moment where he admitted to tossing in that last right hand just to shut Bisping up. Is there a real reason to think he’ll fare any better against Anderson Silva a second time, or is this another Rich Franklin situation?
Michael Bisping -57
Everyone from Joe Rogan to his own cornermen could see what a bad idea it was to circle into Hendo’s right. Bisping will probably have to watch the video to learn from his mistake. That is, if he even wants to know what happened.
Jon Fitch +44
Another plodding grappling match earns Fitch his tenth UFC victory. It’s an impressive feat, even there haven’t been all that many truly entertaining bouts mixed in there.
Paulo Thiago -18
Okay, so he couldn’t do to Fitch what he did to Koscheck, but he acquitted himself well enough to show that he’s no one-hit wonder. A couple close submissions and an unrelenting spirit were the bright spots. But kid, you aren’t going far in the welterweight division unless you can wrestle.
Yoshihiro Akiyama +49
He skated by on the slimmest on margins after getting off to a good start, but the point is he got the W and got his UFC debut out of the way. We’ll be expecting more out of him in his next outing. Learning how to check a leg kick would be a good start.
Alan Belcher -12
Robbed? Not quite, unless you’re talking about whatever he paid for that piss-poor Johnny Cash likeness on his arm. Still, Belcher proved to be resilient and explosive down the stretch. He’s just got to be a little more consistent.
Mark Coleman +57
No matter how you slice it, if you’re still winning fights in the UFC in your mid-forties you’re a man who deserves respect. But he’s not getting any younger.
Stephan Bonnar -54
How many losses in a row before Dana White is forced to reconsider what he owes Bonnar for the thrilling TUF 1 Finale fight that pushed the UFC towards the mainstream? We may be on the verge of finding out.
Mac Danzig -33
Three straight losses is usually the magic number that leads to unemployment. Makes you wonder what happened to the TUF winner with all the potential/hummus.
Jon Jones +41
Another win for “Bones,” and this time he proves he can finish fights, too. So how good is he really? Hard to say until we see him tested by someone a little closer to the top ten.
Jake O’Brien -38
All that talk about what a bad match-up he was for Jones proved to be sadly ironic. You can’t wrestle your way out of every problem, Jake.
Tom Lawlor +46
We love a guy who doesn’t take himself so seriously that he can’t have a good time, but who can also choke a dude out. You just made yourself some fans, “Just Bleed.”
C.B. Dollaway -39
Well, at least there’s no argument over whether he tapped this time.
UFC 100 +63
Was it the greatest MMA event of all time? Maybe not, but it was still a damn good one. And you can’t argue with the live gate figures. Between the line-up and the Fan Expo, the UFC delivered on its promise to make this one something special.
Bruce Buffer +360
You know why…
Joe Rogan -360
I’m sorry, but didn’t he say he would shit his pants if Buffer pulled off the 360? Never thought we’d say this, but he really let us down by keeping his bowels in check.