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The Potato Index: UFC 100 Edition


(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)

It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help.  It’s like the stock market, only dumber.

Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique.  And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist.  But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion.  Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?

Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory.  But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it.  Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.


Frank Mir -82
He had no answer for Lesnar’s takedowns or ground-and-pound.  He took his beating like a man, but that’s not exactly a recipe for success or career longevity.

Georges St. Pierre +148
GSP dominated his toughest challenger to date in every facet of the fight.  He also fought the last two rounds with an injured groin, which can’t be fun.  To top it all off, he acted like a sportsman and a gentleman afterwards.  Is there anyone at 170 who can give him a fight right now?

Thiago Alves -38
He showed tremendous heart and he never gave up.  That said, if you can’t stop GSP’s takedowns you don’t stand much of a chance.  He’s still young and there’s time yet to develop his wrestling skills.  If he doesn’t he might have a long wait before GSP retires or moves on.

Dan Henderson +63
Huge KO adds to his highlight reel, but we could have done without the cringe-worthy moment where he admitted to tossing in that last right hand just to shut Bisping up.  Is there a real reason to think he’ll fare any better against Anderson Silva a second time, or is this another Rich Franklin situation?

Michael Bisping -57

Everyone from Joe Rogan to his own cornermen could see what a bad idea it was to circle into Hendo’s right.  Bisping will probably have to watch the video to learn from his mistake.  That is, if he even wants to know what happened.

Jon Fitch +44
Another plodding grappling match earns Fitch his tenth UFC victory.  It’s an impressive feat, even there haven’t been all that many truly entertaining bouts mixed in there.

Paulo Thiago -18
Okay, so he couldn’t do to Fitch what he did to Koscheck, but he acquitted himself well enough to show that he’s no one-hit wonder.  A couple close submissions and an unrelenting spirit were the bright spots.  But kid, you aren’t going far in the welterweight division unless you can wrestle.

Yoshihiro Akiyama +49

He skated by on the slimmest on margins after getting off to a good start, but the point is he got the W and got his UFC debut out of the way.  We’ll be expecting more out of him in his next outing.  Learning how to check a leg kick would be a good start.

Alan Belcher -12
Robbed?  Not quite, unless you’re talking about whatever he paid for that piss-poor Johnny Cash likeness on his arm.  Still, Belcher proved to be resilient and explosive down the stretch.  He’s just got to be a little more consistent.

Mark Coleman +57
No matter how you slice it, if you’re still winning fights in the UFC in your mid-forties you’re a man who deserves respect.  But he’s not getting any younger.

Stephan Bonnar -54
How many losses in a row before Dana White is forced to reconsider what he owes Bonnar for the thrilling TUF 1 Finale fight that pushed the UFC towards the mainstream?  We may be on the verge of finding out.

Jim Miller +30
Back in the win column after having his streak interrupted by Gray Maynard.  Still a ways to go before he can be considered a contender, but he’s got time.

Mac Danzig -33
Three straight losses is usually the magic number that leads to unemployment.  Makes you wonder what happened to the TUF winner with all the potential/hummus.

Jon Jones +41
Another win for “Bones,” and this time he proves he can finish fights, too.  So how good is he really?  Hard to say until we see him tested by someone a little closer to the top ten.

Jake O’Brien -38
All that talk about what a bad match-up he was for Jones proved to be sadly ironic.  You can’t wrestle your way out of every problem, Jake.

Tom Lawlor +46
We love a guy who doesn’t take himself so seriously that he can’t have a good time, but who can also choke a dude out.  You just made yourself some fans, “Just Bleed.”

C.B. Dollaway -39
Well, at least there’s no argument over whether he tapped this time.

UFC 100 +63
Was it the greatest MMA event of all time?  Maybe not, but it was still a damn good one.  And you can’t argue with the live gate figures.  Between the line-up and the Fan Expo, the UFC delivered on its promise to make this one something special.

Bruce Buffer +360
You know why…

Joe Rogan -360
I’m sorry, but didn’t he say he would shit his pants if Buffer pulled off the 360?  Never thought we’d say this, but he really let us down by keeping his bowels in check.

Cagepotato Comments

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Dmonicideals- July 13, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I thought it was fat Elvis too J-dog. We both laughed our asses off when we heard who it was.
Dmonicideals- July 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm
From this day forth, any fantasy or betting site shall have "Atomic Teabag" as one of GSPs ways of finishing fights.


Fucking "Hit him with your groin." all matter-of-fact was amazing. Greg Jackson needs to release the GREG JACKSON'S GUIDE TO THE UNBLOCKABLE ATOMIC TEABAG on DVD.
Streitigkaiser- July 13, 2009 at 5:47 pm
I don't understand why everyone is giving Hendo so much crap? Has anyone ever been in a fight, when the blood is on that is just how that shit goes sometimes and who is to say Bisping wouldn't have done the same? This is MMA not golf.
831 Son- July 13, 2009 at 5:01 pm
@ Goog

Uh yea they would throw your ass around like a ragdoll. You would get fucking destroyed bro. Sorry to shit on your parade but you would get smashed.
Chri534.- July 13, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Hahahaha at the Rogan assessment. Nice work CP.

Also, I originially thought Belcher won that fight. I'm going to have to go back and watch it again (I thought Belcher had round 1), because fightmetric also scores it for Akiyama....
AgentoftheBat- July 13, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I agree totally with everyone saying that Brock is making it interesting.
So what if he's offending people. So what if he flips off the fans. It's fun.
I was glad to see him in Mirs face after the win. Mir talked a ton of shit on him and he was worked up. They are fighters, stuff like that happens.
Besides, it gives you handful that like to recycle jokes a chance to break out those gems like, "Cock Chestnar".
At this point I think some Dangerfield one liners would feel newer...
831 Son- July 13, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@JTho:

I totally fucking agree with you.

Besides the Anderson Silva thing though. Anderson will show his mastery of MMA in his next fight with Forest. And just to reassure the faggot fucking fans, its not all about KO's. What was wrong with his last two fights? NOTHING.

DangadaDang- July 13, 2009 at 1:17 pm
It was funny, I see the vid off the Buffer three 60 and this random girl runs into my house and flashed me...
JTho- July 13, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Cagepotato, this article was disappointing.

First, it's absurd to claim that Brock only won based on size and strength alone. I feel like a broken record, but it's worth reiterating that Brock was a national champion wrestler -- something that Randy never accomplished. Perhaps it's more accurate to say that Mir's jiu jitsu lost the fight. If you think size will win fights alone, I'd recommend watching Fedor vs Hong Man-Choi again. If size is all that matters, why isn't Bob Sapp the best fighter in the world? Your personal bias undermines your credibility and opinions of Brock as a fighter.

Second, are you really suggesting there isn't a 'real person' who thinks Hendo can beat Silva? Did you see the first round of their first fight? Did you see Bisping's eyes roll back into his head? Have you seen Silva's last two fights?
Daddy_jeffy- July 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm
"Robbed? Not quite, unless you’re talking about whatever he paid for that piss-poor Johnny Cash likeness on his arm."

I thought it was Tom Arnold. I think he got it from the same tattoo artist who put it on Rosanne.

On a side note, Tom earned his money...
831 Son- July 13, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Shut the hell up with the ridiculously long fucking essays you guys are writing.
agentsmith- July 13, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@ JPfighter:

What's the fuss about with Brock Lesnar? Let's run down the list.

1) Tries to walk out of the pre-fight press conference and has to be stopped by Dana. I read on BloodyElbow.com that Dana had to talk to him twice more after that.

2) Refuses to touch gloves. No big deal, he's hardly the first and won't be the last, but it adds to the rest of his behavior.

3) Gets in Mir's face immediately after the fight. Again, no big deal and not the first and won't be the last, but again it just adds to the rest.

4) Screams and literally sprays spit at the camera. Certainly not the first guy to stick his face in the camera after a win, but no one has ever done it like that before. He looked exactly like a rabid dog trying to attack someone.


That's just the appetizers. Now here's where it starts getting serious...

5) When the athletic commission guys try to pull him away from Mir, he physically shrugs them off and tells them to get the fuck off him at least twice. Getting physical and confrontational with the officials is a pretty serious no-no. Like I said, I wouldn't be surprised if the NSAC officially reprimanded or even fined him for it.

6) Gives the double-fingers to the entire crowd. I can't recall anyone ever doing that before, much less a champion. Tim Sylvia was a rather unpopular champ, but neither he nor anyone else has never reveled in it like this. It's especially asshole-ish considering people wouldn't have been booing him in the first place if he didn't act the way he was/does.

7) Talks shit about one of the UFC's biggest sponsors. Employers tend to frown on this kind of thing, to say the least.


All combined, it's undoubtedly the biggest display of classlessness and unprofessionalism (are those really words?) I've ever seen in all of MMA, and it's particularly bad coming from a champion. Lesnar's not only the undisputed champ now, he's also the undisputed biggest asshole (in more than one sense) ever to fight in the UFC. This guy makes Nick Diaz look like GSP.
HAL_13- July 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm
NO I DID NOT MEAN TO POST THE SAME THING 4 TIMES. NO NEED TO EXPLAIN CAUSE YOU FUCKERS DO IT WHEN IT GETS SLOW FROM TIME TO TIME ALSO. SORRY GUYS........
HAL_13- July 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm
GOOG, THAT MY MAN IS WHY I REALLY LIKE YOU MY FRIEND. YOUR A FREAKIN BIG HUGE FREAK MONSTER THAT KNOWS HOW TO EXPLAIN THINGS AROUND HERE BETTER THEN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE BESIDES ME THAT IS. YOU JUST MADE A HELL OF ALOT OF SENSE. IF ANYONE ON HERE KNOWS HOW TO STRAIGHTEN THIS WHOLE CRYING ASS MESS ABOUT LESNAR AND CARWIN, AND ALL THE OTHER BIG BOYS IT IS YOU. YEAH I KNOW THESE IGNORANT BASTARDS WILL BE SAYING THAT WE ARE BUTT BUDDIES AFTER THEY READ THIS BUT WHO GIVE A FUCK. THEY JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
HAL_13- July 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm
GOOG, THAT MY MAN IS WHY I REALLY LIKE YOU MY FRIEND. YOUR A FREAKIN BIG HUGE FREAK MONSTER THAT KNOWS HOW TO EXPLAIN THINGS AROUND HERE BETTER THEN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE BESIDES ME THAT IS. YOU JUST MADE A HELL OF ALOT OF SENSE. IF ANYONE ON HERE KNOWS HOW TO STRAIGHTEN THIS WHOLE CRYING ASS MESS ABOUT LESNAR AND CARWIN, AND ALL THE OTHER BIG BOYS IT IS YOU. YEAH I KNOW THESE IGNORANT BASTARDS WILL BE SAYING THAT WE ARE BUTT BUDDIES AFTER THEY READ THIS BUT WHO GIVE A FUCK. THEY JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
HAL_13- July 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm
GOOG, THAT MY MAN IS WHY I REALLY LIKE YOU MY FRIEND. YOUR A FREAKIN BIG HUGE FREAK MONSTER THAT KNOWS HOW TO EXPLAIN THINGS AROUND HERE BETTER THEN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE BESIDES ME THAT IS. YOU JUST MADE A HELL OF ALOT OF SENSE. IF ANYONE ON HERE KNOWS HOW TO STRAIGHTEN THIS WHOLE CRYING ASS MESS ABOUT LESNAR AND CARWIN, AND ALL THE OTHER BIG BOYS IT IS YOU. YEAH I KNOW THESE IGNORANT BASTARDS WILL BE SAYING THAT WE ARE BUTT BUDDIES AFTER THEY READ THIS BUT WHO GIVE A FUCK. THEY JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
HAL_13- July 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm
GOOG, THAT MY MAN IS WHY I REALLY LIKE YOU MY FRIEND. YOUR A FREAKIN BIG HUGE FREAK MONSTER THAT KNOWS HOW TO EXPLAIN THINGS AROUND HERE BETTER THEN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE BESIDES ME THAT IS. YOU JUST MADE A HELL OF ALOT OF SENSE. IF ANYONE ON HERE KNOWS HOW TO STRAIGHTEN THIS WHOLE CRYING ASS MESS ABOUT LESNAR AND CARWIN, AND ALL THE OTHER BIG BOYS IT IS YOU. YEAH I KNOW THESE IGNORANT BASTARDS WILL BE SAYING THAT WE ARE BUTT BUDDIES AFTER THEY READ THIS BUT WHO GIVE A FUCK. THEY JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
LoneWolf- July 13, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@portland mma

You're right, I totally misread. but again agree with your sentiments.
Canadian Chronic- July 13, 2009 at 11:56 am
Sorry,

"I don't understand what all the fuss is about with respect to Brock Lesnar. The guy came to the UFC with the WWE stigma on his back, so right from the beginning people gave him no respect. I can see how that could piss him off"

why does it piss him off? Why cant it encourage, motivate, him to prove them wrong? Why goes it have to be negative Energy?

ed's note-steriods.

"Why can other fighters be cocky sob's, but the moment that Brock is cocky, everyone's nose goes out of joint?"

They can, but, i dont remember those fighters pissing of the main sponsor? Seriously, think about the money generated in a day by Anheusr-Busch worldwide, think to yourself, do I ever see a UFC logo at any bud/coors light/canadian promo event? no, cuz Bud inc doesn't need their money, but Dana White sucked alot dick to get Bud Incs' sponsirship money. talk about poking the bear

And for everyone who is saying that Brock only wins because he is 40 pounds heavier, is that his fault? No.

No, not at all. I just wanna see the guy challenged. If you saw two men Couture and Lesnars' size standing in the street, squaring off, do you think thats gonna be an even fight?

No doubt about it. Lesnar will rule the HW division for a long time. But are the fights really gonna be interesting to watch? A much as I'd love for Lesnar to get his comeuppance I dont see it happening anytime soon. Its just gonna be, "oh, exactly what he did last time, smother, fists to the head, referee stoppage. whoowee

sorry for the looooong post
agentsmith- July 13, 2009 at 11:53 am
Speaking of the athletic commission, I also couldn't help but notice how many times they checked/wiped GSP's back between rounds. They even made sure to wipe a little glob of vaseline off his arm before the fight started.
Savageleto- July 13, 2009 at 11:45 am
If the UFC was filled with GSP class level fighters.. there is no way it would get boring.

Brock is more then cocky... he is a douchebag.

The heavyweight division may be more interesting.. but imo Brock has little to do with it.. I do not get excited to see this guy fight, however I will probably cheer loudly when he finally gets knocked out.

The only excitement he offers is that day of him getting knocked out...

That will happen.
agentsmith- July 13, 2009 at 11:38 am
I guess no one else noticed how when Lesnar got in Mir's face after the fight, the athletic commission guys tried to pull him away, and he shrugged them off and told them to back the fuck away from him at least twice. I'm sure Dana was very pleased about that too. I wouldn't be surprised if the NSAC fined him for that.
JPfighter- July 13, 2009 at 11:22 am
I don't understand what all the fuss is about with respect to Brock Lesnar. The guy came to the UFC with the WWE stigma on his back, so right from the beginning people gave him no respect. I can see how that could piss him off. The fact is, that Brock has added some serious interest to the UFC heavyweight division, which has been a snoozefest for the last number of years. Frankly, I like all the commotion that Brock is causing. It's about time. Why can other fighters be cocky sob's, but the moment that Brock is cocky, everyone's nose goes out of joint? The guy is a fighter, not a politician or humanitarian. If all the UFC had was politically-correct straight-laced fighters, it would get pretty damn boring, wouldn't it? And for everyone who is saying that Brock only wins because he is 40 pounds heavier, is that his fault? No. He is using the tools he has. Who else moves with his speed and agility at 265? Nobody I have ever seen. If the other heavyweights don't like the rules, then either put on some muscle & improve your skills, or go get another job. I didn't hear anyone bitching about the weight advantage that Tim Sylvia had when he fought as the UFC champ. The UFC heavyweight division is far more interesting than the Tim Sylvia days, isn't it?
Savageleto- July 13, 2009 at 11:20 am
Seriously ...

Cock Chester was a total ass pipe for the entire event weekend until the end, when he did everything and more to prove beyond doubt that he is the reigning, defending, UFC Heavyweight Jerkoff.

Look how it started..

"I am done talking, in fact when I am done here I am leaving the building.. Cheap 2 dollar chairs break!-- Me smash"

Dana- "Brock .. sit the fuck down doofus"

"oh Ok...me sit"

And it was all down hill from there..


Did anyone catch His wife Tell a fan that was obviously jeering them to "Fuck off" ??

It is clearly visible at the end of the broadcast when they show him and her walking back to the locker room....
Richard Fitzentite- July 13, 2009 at 11:11 am
Wondering about that weasel fee of $100,000 to have the honor of sponsoring a fighter. I saw "The Dolce Diet.com" as a fighter sponser. I think I'll leave it at that.
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