(Evans fights through his lifelong phobia of Brazilian asses to get the takedown at UFC 108. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

The UFC’s cursed event is in the books, and amazingly it didn’t result in the MGM Grand being burned to the ground or Bruce Buffer suddenly growing a tail mid-broadcast. So what did we get out of Saturday night’s event? That’s what the Potato Index is here to tell us. Read on to find out who’s up and who’s down according to our arbitrary numerical rankings system.

Rashad Evans +47
“Suga” goes back to his wrestling roots to notch a decision victory. Not his most exciting win, but one that keeps his dream of fighting “Rampage” alive. At this point though, can that fight possibly be good enough to justify all the trouble?

Thiago Silva -63
Down two rounds to none, with no real hope of winning a decision, you have to wonder why he didn’t put everything he had into putting Evans away when he had him hurt. That’s a question Silva is going to be taking to bed with him for a long time.

Paul Daley +81
Seems like we already knew this, but the guy can hit. The question that remains is, can he defend takedowns and fight on the ground? So far in the UFC no one has forced him to.

Dustin Hazelett -59
We realize it’s easier said than done, but why wasn’t taking the fight to the mat a priority for a submission specialist facing a KO artist?

Sam Stout +60
After a lot of underperforming Stout finally shows UFC fans how good he can be when everything clicks. It’s always nice to see a guy who deserves it as much as he does taste some meaningful success. Now what?

Joe Lauzon -49
When early submission attempts failed it was like you could see his energy and faith in himself draining away. With this loss he may have just dropped to the bottom of the middle of the pack, also known as Fight Night territory.

Junior Dos Santos +62
“Cigano” is a big guy who can throw that leather and take some back when he needs to, which makes him someone to keep your eye on in the heavyweight division. We still don’t know how he’d fare against the high-level wrestlers at heavyweight, but something tells me we’ll find out sooner rather than later.

Gilbert Yvel -56
When he got up looking pissed off about the stoppage, the Pride fan boy in us was really hoping he’d grab the mic and ask, ‘Why I always getting fucked?’ like he did after gouging Don Frye’s eyes. Alas, it wasn’t to be. Up next, Yvel vs. Kimbo Slice at some ridiculous catchweight?

Jim Miller +49
Once again we see one of the Miller boys pulling off another slick submission. If only it weren’t for the Gray Maynards of the UFC lightweight class, he might be headed for the top.

Duane Ludwig -44
The UFC appreciates flexible lightweights in a time of so many injuries and replacements, but your first fight back in the Octagon is never a good time to lose. Hopefully they give him another chance before bringing the axe down.

Martin Kampmann +38
He took full advantage of a great opportunity for a rebound win and put Volkmann away in style. Is it possible that his loss to Daley was just a minor hiccup in an otherwise upwardly trending career?

Jacob Volkmann -36
Despite his awesome nickname, “Christmas” is now 0-2 in the UFC. That’s dangerously close to a little town named Cutsville.

Cole Miller +40
A lanky guy with creative submissions is not only a problem for a lot of 155-pounders, he’s also fun to watch. But why is it that as soon as one fight is over he always seems to know exactly who he should fight next?

Dan Lauzon -31
Not how he wanted to return to the UFC, but he’s just 21 and still has a lot of time to grow as a fighter. We’re not counting him out just yet.

Mark Munoz +35
He looks better every time he’s in the Octagon, which isn’t so difficult considering what happened to him the first time.

Ryan Jensen -31
You know it’s a bad night when the only thing stopping you from tapping to strikes is the fear that it will open you up to more strikes.

Jake Ellenberger +37
His decision loss to Condit aside, Ellenberger is very quietly putting some people on notice in the UFC. With a couple good breaks he could be here for a while, which is bad news for some current welterweights.

Mike Pyle -35
The look on Pyle’s face after the first round said it all. His corner told him he was fine, rib issues aside, but he didn’t seem to believe it. The TKO was almost welcome after that.

UFC 108 +64
Once again, the UFC’s roster depth allows them to make lemonade out of cursed lemons. Well done, but don’t get too high and mighty about it. Finished fights are fun fights, but main event star power is still what sells pay-per-views.