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The Potato Index: UFC 114 Edition

(In retrospect, eating that gallon of chili before the fight was probably a bad idea. / Photo courtesy of MMA Fighting.)

Sorry for the delay on this one, dear readers — the Potato Index was waiting on its customary bribe from the UFC before it could give favorable rankings to the fighters at "Rampage vs. Evans." Now that the check has cleared, we’re ready to roll. So who went from zero to hero? And who went from classy to gassy?

Rashad Evans +125
Sugar’s measured, wrestling-based gameplan didn’t exactly transform the haters into fans, but he achieved something a lot more important — he beat an arch-rival and stayed relevant. Rampage can keep his legion of devotees; Rashad is getting a title shot against Shogun, so eat it.

Quinton Jackson -150
Except for his brief blast in the third round, Quinton was just too slow and too predictable. Ring rust was obviously an issue; still, we’re more concerned about Jackson’s ongoing unwillingness to do anything other than box. Those who don’t evolve in this sport are destined to get their asses dug by hungrier competitors. Rampage’s days as an elite light-heavyweight may be numbered.

Michael Bisping +15
The Count put in another solid striking performance, but it was a fight he was supposed to win, and he didn’t really do anything to wow us. He may want to get back in with the elites of the middleweight division, but he’s still not quite ready.

Dan Miller -120
One of the most dramatic declines in recent UFC history — Miller followed up three great wins with unanimous decision losses in three completely forgettable fights, and has given the UFC no real reason to keep him around. A few tune-up matches outside of the big leagues would probably help him regain his fire.

Mike Russow +200
A head like a cinderblock and a gut like a sack of tapioca. Pretty or not, his win over hyped-up monster Todd Duffee proved Russow’s status as a tough, experienced S.O.B. who always gets the job done. Can we set up Russow vs. Roy Nelson for overweight champion of the world?

Todd Duffee -285
If he had a better gas tank, he would have finished Russow in round 2. If he had a better gas tank, maybe he would have avoided that knockout punch in round 3. Duffman, the lesson here is obvious. Now that you know what the third round feels like, it’s time to start preparing for it.

Antonio Rogerio Nogueira -140
Lil’ Nog may have won on paper, but the Potato Index was not impressed. Top ten light-heavyweights aren’t supposed to get handled by obscure late replacements. Nogueira needs to shore up his takedown defense before other opponents can exploit it.

Jason Brilz +400
Any brave idiot can step up and take a fight against a minor legend on three weeks’ notice. It takes a special kind of hustle to out-work that legend in all areas of the fight. Besides his successful takedowns, Brilz nearly submitted Nogueira (!), and was even able to wobble the skilled boxer with his standup. Forget the scoring outcome from those poopoo-headed judges — Brilz just used Lil’ Nog as a stepping stone.

John Hathaway +400
Speaking of fighters who made their names on Saturday, how ’bout this John Hathaway kid? England’s new hope rose to the occasion against a semi-doughy Diego Sanchez, and used his counter-punching, takedown defense, and GnP to ride to a comfortable decision. As with Russow and Brilz, it was the kind of performance that makes you immediately interested in what he’ll do next. Hathaway is now 13-0 (4-0 in the UFC), and he definitely deserves to fight another well-known contender.

Diego Sanchez -190
Moving back up in weight class is apparently not as simple as just gaining weight. Sanchez looked soft and tiny compared to Hathaway. His build suggested that he was either not taking training seriously, or wasn’t taking Hathaway seriously, or both. If Sanchez wants fans to continue caring about him, he’ll move back down to 155 and give Kenny Florian the rematch Ken-Flo deserves.

Dong Hyun Kim +105
Okay, so it wasn’t the most thrilling fight. But Kim’s grappling impressed me, and if there was a lack of action it was because Amir Sadollah was doing all he could to prevent Kim from submitting or smashing him from the top. With improvement, "Stun Gun" could be a legitimate factor in the welterweight division.

Amir Sadollah -85
Eh, whaddya gonna do. At least you still have your wry sense of humor and your position as host of a talk show that airs between commercials on The Ultimate Fighter.

Efrain Escudero +20
I was almost positive that Effy was going to finish this fight early. If he tried some takedowns and ground-and-pound, maybe he could have. Was Escudero playing it cautious after taking the first loss of his career in Janaury? Was he just taking it easy on an old friend? It’s a win, but not one that does much for his career trajectory.

Dan Lauzon -whocares
Lauzon drops to 0-3 lifetime in the UFC, and will probably be joining Dan Miller in the bread-line. The Upgrade gassed early, never looked particularly sharp, and pretty much proved every bad thing said about his motivation level. Some guys want to be a fighter without really being a fighter, y’dig?


Cagepotato Comments

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Komodo- June 3, 2010 at 11:19 am
Mr_Misanthropy Says:


Mr_Misanthropy Says:


* * *'s like a Don Martin convention in here.
fatbellyfrank- June 2, 2010 at 11:55 pm
Yeah, just keep him away from Hardy/Daley, give him Ian Freeman as a mentor, that should keep everything on the up!
ghostboner- June 2, 2010 at 10:09 pm
@Almost North - thanks.

@FbF - Amen bra. Hathaway seems cool....So far...
fatbellyfrank- June 2, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Bisping -100 for gay haircut
Rampage- 10,000 for being Rampage
Duffee - 500 for trying to look like lesnar
Hathaway+10,000 for being a british fighter who doesn't come across as a fucktard.....yet
Shatski- June 2, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Someone's been watching the Dudesons, huh, Mr_Misanthropy? Isanta!
ccman- June 2, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I'm seriously gettin on the all fights go 5 rounds band wagon post ramp\shad. The over cautious and ain't so hard to get wind for 3 approach is killin me. Plus I'm absolutely all in for fixin the scoring system. Its wrong when a solid rockin hit scores the same and a takedown.
macreadysshack- June 2, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Mr_Massecstasy I thought they were sounds of utter dismissal. I wasn't bagging on them, just using them to put down everybody who was in any way involved with anything that happened today on CP. Except for myself. I wrote some dope shit.
Mr_Misanthropy- June 2, 2010 at 5:46 pm
@ MacCracklenPop

Sorry, those were the official "power index" sound effects. They are interchangeable with the sound of a P4P or top-ten listing. Poot fweep.
Get Off Me- June 2, 2010 at 5:23 pm
I would have rather seen a photo of Russow landing that bomb....
with a caption....
"Eat This!"

Russow's body makes enough fun of itself, enough already...
I respect this guy immensely for showing what a fighter's spirit is all about against Duffee.
After blasting Hague, Duffee did his whole cool little "Dana let me eat, that was just an appetizer" skit....looks like Duffee got served.

+10000 Mike Russow - Minor concussions, cuts and a broken forearm all before the end of the first round......
Broken forearm-$1000.00
Knocking out a Centaur who wanted to eat you- PRICELESS!
macreadysshack- June 2, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Yeah, Lysol, I was like whaaa? Mccully was in A-Team? jk lol +1 wtf brb
Lysol- June 2, 2010 at 4:49 pm
That was directed at mmaislandjunkie, by the way
Lysol- June 2, 2010 at 4:48 pm
^^ Someone who was clearly sent tickets to the A-Team movie premiere
oc in this bitch- June 2, 2010 at 4:42 pm
just gos to show how much of a warrior mcccully is to survive 3 rounds with ya know.
MoonBelly- June 2, 2010 at 4:35 pm
~ double post ~
MoonBelly- June 2, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Really? 'page didn't do squat. He landed 1 punch all fight. I was rooting for him cuz I knew a Rashad win would equal a boring fight, but he did what he had to do. Like BG said, Jackson is 1 dimensional and Rashad just took advantage of that. Your punch vs punch argument is better suited for a boxing discussion. How bout Rashad's vs Rampage's grappling? Think about it...
mmaislandjunkie- June 2, 2010 at 3:34 pm
rashads gonna lose to shogun, ufc has enough boring champs (GSP), so you can eat that. rampage took rashads biggest shot and he didnt go down, rashad took a baby hook and was on the brink of unconsciousness...u root for ur guy rampage is still the man. he did wat he said he was gona do n try n knock rashad out rashad talked all that shit to go hug it out.
LastEmperor- June 2, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Lil nog won.
macreadysshack- June 2, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Lol @ Almost North


Congrats to Monster_Vasectomy for his first two comments. The most fully fleshed out and thought out ideas I've read on this site today.
MilkMang- June 2, 2010 at 2:36 pm

He was "duff"inetly good in the first round, but then turned into a "duff"lebag at the end.
mizzo- June 2, 2010 at 2:17 pm
UFC chest hair guy +400 for being hilarious!
Almost North- June 2, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Cyrille Diabate +586 for his "fuck you I won't put my hands up because I'm kickboxing jesus" style and recovering from a monster blow to the dome he took as a result of that style.
2DaDeath- June 2, 2010 at 1:59 pm
"Some guys want to be a fighter without really being a fighter, y'dig?"

Caaan... yooouu... dig iiiiiiiiiiit?
Mr_Misanthropy- June 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Perkele (sorry, that's the only Finnish I know)
Häkkiperuna- June 2, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Mmmmm, tapioca. Not one of Ricky Ricardo's best known hits, but definitely one of his finest. TAPIOOOOOCCCCAAA!
jgrant- June 2, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I think Nog was willing to go to the ground because he thought he could outwork Brilz there. Yeah...about that...