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The Potato Index: UFC 93 Aftermath

(Mark "Frankenstein" Coleman staggers into an uppercut.  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

Thanks to our psychic abilities, we know exactly what two questions went running through your precious little head immediately after the curtain dropped on UFC 93: 1) How did I fare in the Cage Potato UFC 93 Pick-em Contest?, and 2) What will the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical ratings system say about this event?

The answer to the first question is coming soon.  There are, after all, a lot of entries to sort through, and for that we thank you.  The answer to the second question begins…now!  Potato Index!!!!

Dan Henderson +23

He won the fight.  That’s the good news.  He didn’t look spectacular doing it, and we aren’t dying to see more of that particular style in the future, but a win is a win.  Now we have Hendo-Bisping to look forward to.  And that’s, you know, okay…

Rich Franklin -8

Honestly, this decision easily could have gone the other way (just ask the judge who scored it 30-27 Franklin), but it didn’t.  This loss isn’t a sign that Ace is washed up and he didn’t want to coach TUF anyway, so it’s not the end of the world.  It is, however, an indicator that he’s just treading water in the UFC for now, going neither up nor down.  There are worse fates.  At least this one pays.

Mark Coleman -54

Poor, poor Coleman.  Literally.  He says he didn’t have the money for a proper training camp, hence the non-existent cardio and an enthusiastic but misinformed Phil Baroni in his corner.  But what did we expect?  The man was great once, but nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain and explosive wrestling ability.  Please, either fight someone else in your age bracket, or call it quits.  We say this because we care.

“Shogun” Rua -133

It is hard to win a fight via third-round TKO and come out worse than the guy you beat in the Potato Index.  Matter of fact, this might be a first.  But Rua looked so bad as he struggled to avoid takedowns and throw arm punches at the stationary, unguarded head of Coleman that he earned this honor.  ‘Sup Shogun?  You did train for this, right?

Marcus Davis +31

Give him credit, he did what he promised.  He stood and he banged.  He also backpedaled quite a bit.  If only he hadn’t set the bar so high with all his pre-fight hype, we might be talking about this as the unexpected gem of UFC 93.  Still, makes you wonder how that decision would have gone if the fight had been in Vegas instead of Dublin.

Chris Lytle +28

Of the two guys who promised us a war, one of them kept coming forward all night and looking for the fight.  For that, Lytle deserves some love.  You can’t point to any one thing he did wrong in this fight.  It just didn’t go his way.  Tough luck, Chris.  Maybe a takedown near the end of each round would have helped sway the judges?  But what do I know.  I’m a pussy.

Denis Kang -29

Things were going well, and then he got a little too careless on his takedowns.  After nearly getting stuck in the same guillotine in earlier takedown attempts you’d think he’d have known it was coming, but you’d be wrong.  Let’s be generous and chalk it up to Octagon jitters.  But that excuse only works once.

Alan Belcher +73

He looked like an easy target for Kang in the first round, but his mean guillotine off the double-leg saved him in the second.  If they fought ten more times, it’s hard not to think Kang would win nine of them.  Now what is the UFC supposed to do with “The Talent”?

Jeremy Horn -37

That look on Horn’s face as he did just enough to avoid being finished by Palhares?  That was the look of a man who had already calculated the tax on his show money.  Just another day at the office for Horn.  Maybe it ought to be the last time for him at that particular, Octagonal office, though.

Rousimar Palhares +22

Congratulations on your win.  Now prove that you can finish somebody and maybe we can have a serious talk about your future.  Until then, you might be better off on Fight Night’s or the dark portion of pay-per-views.

John Hathaway +30

A TKO win in your UFC debut is always cause for celebration, even if it comes against a guy who knew he was too inexperienced to be in the Octagon and looked clueless on the ground.  Now you get to wait around to get your ass kicked by a real UFC fighter.  Maybe try and get a little sun in the meantime.  Just saying.

Tom Egan -12

I have no idea what you said in your post-fight interview, Tom, but you looked sincere as you said it.  I admire that.  The best way to think of this is as quality experience that you can build on moving forward.  Your fifth pro fight was in the UFC.  At the very least, you can tell the story down at the pub for the rest of your life.

Dublin Fans +48

I don’t care what anyone says, I love hearing all your soccer songs and other crap during the fights.  It’s a nice change of pace.  Plus it reminds me that you’re all drunk and trying to figure out whether you have time to run for another beer between rounds.  My kind of people.

Cagepotato Comments

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Dagnut- January 20, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Glad you gave my home town crowd a should realise as well that tickets for this where going for up too $500 dollar..hopefully UFC will be back..judging by Whites reaction afterwards I reckon they will.
Anonymous- January 19, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I thought I'd explain to you what sarcasm was, but then... ya know what... nevermind.
JaviG- January 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Palahres broke his hand, that's why he couldn't finish. Don't be a dick.
PG-13- January 19, 2009 at 3:15 pm
WOW! You absolutely robbed Jeremy Horn of his credit in this edition of Potato Index. I loved that fight. Palhares is a stud and should be dominating the devision. Even though he isn't doing well right now he certainly is a scary opponent in modern MMA. With that said, Horn stole the show, Horn and Coleman have been in this game two long and they both showed the kids out there what fighters are, young and old. Horn basically showed us that even the old dogs who should not really be competing anymore can shut down these young hyped up powerhouses. Horn made Palhares look bad as Coleman made Shogun look bad, as Hendo made Rich look bad. These guys grinded out 15's with top ranked fighters.

Common Potato Index, Respect is due!

cleanshirt- January 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm
LMFAO @ jay
Poop Chute- January 19, 2009 at 2:59 pm
i agree i concur i agree i concur say whaaaaaaaaaaat. can i get a WHAT WHAT
Poop Chute- January 19, 2009 at 2:57 pm
LOL I concur I concurrrrrrrrrrrr oh man im so fuckin stoned right now you guys dont even know you dont even KNOW. WIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Crittino- January 19, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Kang's stock should have gone down a lot lower. I have to sell a kidney cause of that fight.
Torque- January 19, 2009 at 1:22 pm
No BS to it bro....BOTH fighters looked like sh*t. Had Coleman not went down, I'm sure he could ahve won a decision victory. I'm commenting about how bad and completely out of shap both of them looked.
Bruce Buffer- January 19, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I agree with Imbecile's take on the scoring. I'm still not sure how educated these judges are when it comes to scoring on the ground. I'm not sure that securing a takedown and laying on an opponent should be enough to win a round. If I'm Franklin, I'm upset but I guess that's why you never leave it to the judges...
Anonymous- January 19, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I call bs on this post! Coleman was close, Rua barely scraped out that win -- not bad after an 18 month layoff, but still. And Henderson/Franklin could've gon either way.
Torque- January 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm
This was by far, the absolute worst PPV I've ever watched the UFC put on. None of the fighter looked like they were conditioned for their fights except for Rich Franklin who managed to loose a very weird split decision.

My biggest gripe is that the pathetic excuse of a fight was the Coleman-Rua fight! Coleman looked terribe. So bad in fact that I believe with all my heart that Kalib Starnes could have ended him in the first round. Shogun looked like sh*t, and was gassed by the 2nd round. The bad thing is that Shogun could have ended the fight like 5 times in the 2nd round and at least twice in the first.

After this display I will say, that I will no longer be a fan of either fighter.
Drew- January 19, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Denis Kang has to be the most disappointing fighter in MMA. Other than Crocop that is.
Anonymous- January 19, 2009 at 12:41 pm
PAUL HARRIS BROKE HIS HNAD FUCKING IDIOT!That's why he didnt' finish Horn.

Recently.Reaped- January 19, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I concur with the last point.. the Dublin crowd really added something to the PPV.

They deserve a stronger card next time the UFC visits IMO.
Bas Rutten- January 19, 2009 at 12:01 pm
"Poor, poor Coleman. Literally. He says he didn’t have the money for a proper training camp, hence the non-existent cardio and an enthusiastic but misinformed Phil Baroni in his corner."

correct me if im wrong but I thought cardio takes hard work, not money.
just some dong- January 19, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I too am sick of position alone dictating decisions. Why should it even matter to the judges? Position means nothing unless a fighter's doing something with it. I don't care if you're on top or on the bottom when it hits the mat, every strike that lands should score the same points. If you are on top and landing, that should count for points. If you're striking from the bottom, it should count just the same. The fighter on top already has the advantage since his strikes are more likely to do damage - shouldn't that be enough?

A takedown that is finished should just be considered another strike that lands - that's all. Reversing a takedown should count the same. Also, a takedown should be looked at like catching a football - you gotta hold onto it for a little to make it count.

Submission "attempts" and "escapes" should mean nothing - they either stop the fight or they don't. That's the whole danger of them. Trying a sub and missing is like throwing an overhand and catching air - it may look impressive but it didn't do squat.

Aggression and cage control factoring into the score cards is just absurd. It's two guys locked in a cage who do nothing but train to fight... Let them fight their style and see who lands more.
Jay- January 19, 2009 at 11:55 am
I think we can put the "Wanderer" apron back on Coleman and get him back to his rest home.
Tusker- January 19, 2009 at 11:29 am
remember when Coleman wanted to show Lesnar what ground-and-pound was all about?? thank goodness for that "training injury" almost makes me ill to think what Brock would have done to the old man had they actually fought.

maybe it's time for a GreyBeard division? bring back Mo Smith, Severn, Frye, etc...
Farthammer- January 19, 2009 at 11:10 am
Excuse me; I meant Debi Diamond.
passoutortapout44- January 19, 2009 at 11:03 am
My God, ya know, every fighter looks bad after a fight where he takes punches to the face, but dammit Coleman always ends up looking like the stress ball on my desk after a hard day's work!
Farthammer- January 19, 2009 at 11:01 am

I agree Lytle should have won. I also think it's funny that the UFC allowed a worked fight but Dana gave himself a hernia yelling about EliteXC and "standgate".

I think Hendo winning was fine; I had it on my imaginary scorecard 29-28, but would have had no problem with Franklin winning. Also, my imaginary scorecard was made of graham cracker and I ate it after the fight.

But why the hate on Boondock Saints? Do you not appreciate slow-motion shots for 90% of the movie while Willem DeFoe overracts? It also had Jeanna Fine who is the most underrated BJ-giver of all time. Tied with Debbie Diamond. And all of your moms. boosh.
Bilbo McFonzie- January 19, 2009 at 10:47 am
Moving forward is not a sufficient reason to win a decision. Lytle threw wild windmill punches and few of them landed. Davis backpedaled, but landed much more frequently. It's not just about aggression, its about effective aggression. Davis was the better fighter.
FilmDrunk- January 19, 2009 at 10:32 am
Hendo was boring and didn't really do any damage. Franklin should've won. Lytle deserved the win over Davis for moving forward the whole time. And was that a Boondock Saints clip in Davis' walkup music? Another reason he should've lost.
Imbecile- January 19, 2009 at 10:30 am

You're right. It was a three round fight, and by the third round Henderson looked exhausted and pretty awful. So for all his training, he wasn't even able to push it at three rounds. That gives me a pretty good indication of where it would have been at five rounds. You can think differently........but you're wrong.