(Mark "Frankenstein" Coleman staggers into an uppercut.  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

Thanks to our psychic abilities, we know exactly what two questions went running through your precious little head immediately after the curtain dropped on UFC 93: 1) How did I fare in the Cage Potato UFC 93 Pick-em Contest?, and 2) What will the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical ratings system say about this event?

The answer to the first question is coming soon.  There are, after all, a lot of entries to sort through, and for that we thank you.  The answer to the second question begins…now!  Potato Index!!!!

Dan Henderson +23

He won the fight.  That’s the good news.  He didn’t look spectacular doing it, and we aren’t dying to see more of that particular style in the future, but a win is a win.  Now we have Hendo-Bisping to look forward to.  And that’s, you know, okay…

Rich Franklin -8

Honestly, this decision easily could have gone the other way (just ask the judge who scored it 30-27 Franklin), but it didn’t.  This loss isn’t a sign that Ace is washed up and he didn’t want to coach TUF anyway, so it’s not the end of the world.  It is, however, an indicator that he’s just treading water in the UFC for now, going neither up nor down.  There are worse fates.  At least this one pays.

Mark Coleman -54

Poor, poor Coleman.  Literally.  He says he didn’t have the money for a proper training camp, hence the non-existent cardio and an enthusiastic but misinformed Phil Baroni in his corner.  But what did we expect?  The man was great once, but nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain and explosive wrestling ability.  Please, either fight someone else in your age bracket, or call it quits.  We say this because we care.

“Shogun” Rua -133

It is hard to win a fight via third-round TKO and come out worse than the guy you beat in the Potato Index.  Matter of fact, this might be a first.  But Rua looked so bad as he struggled to avoid takedowns and throw arm punches at the stationary, unguarded head of Coleman that he earned this honor.  ‘Sup Shogun?  You did train for this, right?

Marcus Davis +31

Give him credit, he did what he promised.  He stood and he banged.  He also backpedaled quite a bit.  If only he hadn’t set the bar so high with all his pre-fight hype, we might be talking about this as the unexpected gem of UFC 93.  Still, makes you wonder how that decision would have gone if the fight had been in Vegas instead of Dublin.

Chris Lytle +28

Of the two guys who promised us a war, one of them kept coming forward all night and looking for the fight.  For that, Lytle deserves some love.  You can’t point to any one thing he did wrong in this fight.  It just didn’t go his way.  Tough luck, Chris.  Maybe a takedown near the end of each round would have helped sway the judges?  But what do I know.  I’m a pussy.

Denis Kang -29

Things were going well, and then he got a little too careless on his takedowns.  After nearly getting stuck in the same guillotine in earlier takedown attempts you’d think he’d have known it was coming, but you’d be wrong.  Let’s be generous and chalk it up to Octagon jitters.  But that excuse only works once.

Alan Belcher +73

He looked like an easy target for Kang in the first round, but his mean guillotine off the double-leg saved him in the second.  If they fought ten more times, it’s hard not to think Kang would win nine of them.  Now what is the UFC supposed to do with “The Talent”?

Jeremy Horn -37

That look on Horn’s face as he did just enough to avoid being finished by Palhares?  That was the look of a man who had already calculated the tax on his show money.  Just another day at the office for Horn.  Maybe it ought to be the last time for him at that particular, Octagonal office, though.

Rousimar Palhares +22

Congratulations on your win.  Now prove that you can finish somebody and maybe we can have a serious talk about your future.  Until then, you might be better off on Fight Night’s or the dark portion of pay-per-views.

John Hathaway +30

A TKO win in your UFC debut is always cause for celebration, even if it comes against a guy who knew he was too inexperienced to be in the Octagon and looked clueless on the ground.  Now you get to wait around to get your ass kicked by a real UFC fighter.  Maybe try and get a little sun in the meantime.  Just saying.

Tom Egan -12

I have no idea what you said in your post-fight interview, Tom, but you looked sincere as you said it.  I admire that.  The best way to think of this is as quality experience that you can build on moving forward.  Your fifth pro fight was in the UFC.  At the very least, you can tell the story down at the pub for the rest of your life.

Dublin Fans +48

I don’t care what anyone says, I love hearing all your soccer songs and other crap during the fights.  It’s a nice change of pace.  Plus it reminds me that you’re all drunk and trying to figure out whether you have time to run for another beer between rounds.  My kind of people.