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Potato Nation, Sit Back and Let Ronda Rousey’s Mom Teach You a Proper Armbar

(Ann is lucky Bas didn’t have a salt shaker or a bar stool handy, or this would’ve gone down WAY differently.) 

If you are one of those conspiracy theorists out there who believe that Ronda Rousey sold her soul to the devil for the Ultimate Armbar of Absolute Victory (perhaps we’re naming that a little soon), then it’s time for a wake up call. Aside from Ronda’s extensive judo background, her ability to maim and disfigure her female counterparts is equal parts experience and genetics. Because believe it or not, her mother, Dr. Ann Maria Rousey DeMars, was the first American woman to ever win a World Judo Championship. How’d she do it, you ask? Mainly through the help of her friends; Harai Goshi, Uchi Mata, and Mr. Armbar.

Well Taters, it seems that Ronda’s mom has taken some time out of her busy schedule to bestow some knowledge upon us all, via her personal blog. Today’s lesson is titled “How to do a Perfect Armbar.” Enjoy:

Random arm bar notes: I. How to do a perfect arm bar

Let’s suppose you are in a tournament, or even practice, and you have the great good fortune to have an opponent beneath you and you get hold of your opponent’s arm. I am going to assume that your opponent is not an idiot and having grasped the severity of the situation will grab on to his own arm for dear life. How to do a perfect arm bar, according to me.

1. Have both hands at your opponent’s wrist, locking the forearm against your body. 

2. Have both of your legs across the opponent’s body, one on either side of said arm (I learned to refer to things as “said” from reading too many contracts)

3. Rotate toward the opponent’s head to break the arm free

4. Rotate back toward the opponent’s hips so you are now at a perfect 270 degree angle from the opponent’s body (for non-math majors, a 270 degree angle is shown below. This is nothing if not a full-service blog)

5. Legs are squeezed together holding the opponent tight at the shoulder, with your thighs

6. Pinch knees tight together, touching, allowing no space for the opponent to pull his arm through if he did by some miracle manage to pull his wrist free,

7. Legs are bent, curling his body back toward you with your feet. (If you’ve ever done the leg curl at the gym, it’s that motion. If you’ve never done a leg curl, what the heck is wrong with you?)

8. Arch your hips to apply the arm bar. If you have ever had a boyfriend, yeah, it’s that motion. (Unless you’re a gay male in which case I am not sure.)

As you can see, Ronda has not only inherited her death-like vice grip from Ann, but a good deal of her wit as well. But you heard her, ladies! Get out there and start practicing armbar “techniques” on your boyfriends, husbands, or any random mixed martial arts bloggers that you catch eyes with from across the room/bar. Seriously, DO IT.

As for Ronda, we will see if she can make it six straight armbars come August 18th, when she defends her title against former (and first ever) Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight champion Sarah Kaufman. But what we’d really like to know is when our girl Carmen Valentina and Ronda plan on making a series of instructional DVD’s to help some of us study these techniques at home. Yeah…study. With the doors locked. And the blinds closed.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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linzhancy- June 12, 2012 at 10:00 am ..........
danomite- June 8, 2012 at 3:49 pm
does her mom give, um...private lessons? For judo, I mean.
Clyde- June 8, 2012 at 3:16 pm
This leads me to the question, is the ability to armbar an inherited trait passed on in our genes, or are they merely an acquired skill that we learn from our peers? I propose an experiment that may require some selective breeding with Miss Rousey. I volunteer to be part of this research.
intercept440- June 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm
fred thats not an armbar ... thats BUKKAKE!!!!!!
Fried Taco- June 8, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Ronda will be surprised when she goes to armbar me and is squirted with a sticky substance instead. Yes, Ronda, that was a tap of pleasure!
Goat- June 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Can you say "Threesome"?