As reported here last month, the next season of NBC’s awful-behavior competition The Apprentice will be a celebrity edition featuring UFC star Tito Ortiz. The Associated Press has now reported that the season premiere is set for January 3rd, and the full cast of contestants has been officially announced. They are (in order of my own personal interest):
Tito Ortiz — UFC light-heavyweight with the super-heavyweight head
Gene Simmons — Kiss bassist/singer known for shameless branding, disturbingly long tongue
Lennox Lewis — Retired heavyweight boxing champion
Vincent Pastore — Big Pussy!
Stephen Baldwin — Born-again Christian, founder of Breakthrough Ministries, co-star of Bio-Dome
Tiffany Fallon — 2005 Playboy Playmate of the Year
Trace Adkins — Musical genius behind “Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk”
Nadia Comaneci — Romanian gymnast best-known for her perfect-10 pwnage of the uneven bars at the 1976 Olympics
Carol Alt — Model/actress/raw foodie
Jennie Finch — Sort-of-cute Olympic softball gold medalist
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth — The ball-buster from season 1 of The Apprentice
Marilu Henner — Actress, diet shiller, host of America’s Ballroom Challenge
Piers Morgan — Poor man’s Simon Cowell on America’s Got Talent
Nely Galan — TV producer and Telemundo executive, and the only contestrant you’ve literally never heard of
The 14 celebs will compete in business-oriented tasks around New York City, and their performance will be judged by Donald and his Lil’ VeePees, Ivanka and Donald Jr. The grand prize won’t be a job with Donald Trump, but instead a $250,000 bonus to donate to their favorite charity. I know what you’re thinking — charity, right? — but at least it’ll be some good exposure for Kiss Kaskets.